El Fíisico nuclear is a being of many talents. For example, his college application to NYU submitted as a joke, nonetheless tells us much about the Man in the Psychic Mask. One achievement not included here, however, is his translation of Beowulf into English as She is Spoke. Do not craunch a marmoset any longer: explore a dialect of English which is pure and sublime, and yet corrupt and ridiculous, all at the same time.
PK
There have been many misguided attempts to evolve into a state similar to that manifested by El Físico Nuclear. The most recent of which I have had word is a commune in the Mojave Desert, the members of which attempt to levitate by humming. I have as of yet found neither the printed reference or the actual referent for this story. A much more illogical attempt to manifest the state of El Físico Nuclear is found in The I Can Eat Glass Project. This insane endeavor is apparently founded on reports that El Físico Nuclear derives nourishment only from
creatures, like himself, whose chemical basis is silica rather than carbon. Every time someone says "The Enlightenment (or 'the space age', or 'technology', or 'the discovery of fire', or whatever) was a bad idea", I show them this webpage and declare: "Ecce homo!"RVM
For true Nucleares, there can be no holier pilgrimage than a journey to the El Físico Nuclear Museum located just outside Gorman, California. Built on the very spot where The Physicist is believed to have come to earth, it commemorates, celebrates, and perpetrates the most marvellous myth of the Modern Age. Though photographs of the interior are not allowed, Mrs. Gwen Dibley, a free lance journalist for Reader's Digest, recorded here impressions for us in her article A Visit to the El Físico Nuclear Museum.
RP
The Firesign Theatre, that crazy troupe of clowns, has been promoting the El Físico Nuclear perspective for years without even knowing it! Particularly relevant to this paradigm is their album Everything you Know is Wrong!. This album is worth more than a dozen articles by the Skeptical Inquirer about the alleged fraudulence of such folk as Carlos Castaneda
and his seminal work The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge and Erich Von Daniken's Chariots of the Gods?. If everything they tell us true, everything you know IS wrong, very wrong indeed. In that sense, there are no greater scientists in the history of the world.
(Carlos Castaneda has been known to wrestle as "The Anthropologist" from time to time, but that doesn't explain his gonzo scholarship or outright lies. He's dead now.)
PW
El Físico Nuclear, always concerned about the
environment (though not for the reasons you might think) and also
cultural enrichment, has been channelled by the artists who created the
works below.
Cadillac Ranch
Carhenge
Supposedly built by geologist Jim Reinders (who also happens to be a member of the Funny Names Club), in fact it was psychically constructed by a group of postmodern pagans and Físico aficionados in shamanic cyberspace. It then manifested in waking time space for everyone to see and to remind the world of the wonders of El Físico Nuclear. At least, that is the conclusion to which researchers have arrived.
The greatest of all our cultural decenters, The Museum of Jurassic Technology may no longer exist even as you read this! (Certain sources assert that El Físico Nuclear in fact lives beneath this Museum--in which case we can rest assured that it will not in fact disappear.) Nevertheless, HURRY! No One May Ever Have the Same Knowledge Again!
El Físico Nuclear once said: "Everything I am doing now has already been done by the SubGenii; my powers are now at their peak." Visit the Church of the SubGenius to see what he meant.
Though El Físico Nuclear is not a kook, many of his followers are. And even though none of them has attained a sufficient following to be listed in The Kooks Museum, we can only hope.
Alas, the famed Resort and Cancer Eclinica down in El Polvo, Baja Mexico, where El Físico Nuclear was wont to spend his vacations, seems no longer to be extant. ¡Ni modo! Seester Rosa Gabriel, the evil genius behind the clinic, has begun a chronicle of a spirit medium, helping donkeys find health and salvation, and making certain that prayers find their proper destination. Do not hesitate to visit her webpage! El Físico Nuclear is a big fan of her work!
Please read a sample from the only work about El Físico Nuclear that has been graced with an ISBN, Hermester Barrington's Death Trap at La Puente!
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This page of the An Informal Archive of El Físico Nuclear Related Web Links is maintained by Rho(n)da Vue Morgenstern
© 1998 Rho(n)da Vue Morgenstern
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© 1998 Denise Hopenhaym
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