The Flying Burrito first revealed himself to mortal eyes on Haloween of 1999. Perhaps he is imbued with the power of all those great beings who died on halloweens past; Cicero, Houdini, Bob Dole, and my childhood guinea pig, Squeaker. The world may never know. What we do know is that the Burrito himself is a creature of pure cosmic power.
Since his awe-inspiring debut, the Burrito has time and again demonstrated his ability to survive folding chairs, cookie sheets, and repeated, violent, repeated encounters with the floor. Occasionally defeated, but never vanquished, Burrito always rises, phoenix-like, from the ashes. Tradition has it that he once battled Triangle Man himself. Presumably, Triangle won.
Any clues concerning the Burrito's shadowy past are now lost to time. Was he some kind of Tsarist Weapon-X project? Or perhaps he was bitten by a radioactive cucaracha. We will likely never know.
When last sighted, the Burrito was shot at close range by Larry Viezel. Early reports claim that his Kryptonian tights stopped the bullet, but we all pray for him. The Burrito has not been seen since.
Although occasionally sighted (and even videotaped!), only a very few artifacts and documents are held in the Flying Burrito museum. Those are submitted here for your approval:
The letter, from Burrito himself, that spurred the creation of this page. It is my most cherished posession.
A rare Flying Burrito guitar pick, hand crafted by his devotees high in the himalayas.
The image from a unique Flying Burrito T-shirt.
An ultra-rare photo of Taco Diablo in his natural habitat.
Even the gods err.
A super-ultra-rare opportunity: Flying Burrito and Taco Diablo news... FROM THE FUTURE
In a related story...
Extra-ultra-super-mega-rare Burrito Links.
Plus this enigmatic image, purportedly made by Burrito devotees in Mexico city, circa 1982.
If you have anything to contribute to the flying Burrito Museum (images, history, primary sources, corrections, or just comments), please contact the Curator.
The Flying Burrito seems condemned, like Sisyphus, to eternally roll the boulder of pro wrasslin' glory up the steep slope of HOH Hardcore challengers. Will the Burrito triumph? No mortal knows. All that we do know is that he does not walk his troubled path alone. A kindred spirit, El Taco Diablo, has joined him in his quest. Together, Burrito and Diablo battle the forces of darkness to become...
