Subject: Funny

A man walked into his office and told his male coworkers his wife had

given him an ultimatum: until he quit smoking, he wasn't going to get

any sex.

They asked him, "How long do you think you'll be able to hold out?"

"Until my girlfriend dies"

~~~~~~

I was sitting outside one cloudy day, reminiscing on all the bad luck

I was having. Everything was going wrong. Feeling bad, I looked up to

the heavens with outstretched arms and said " Why me, Lord, Why me."

All of a sudden there was a clap of thunder and a bolt of lightning,

and as the clouds parted, a booming voice came down from the sky, and

said "Because, Steve, there's something about you that just pisses

me off"

~~~~~~

Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes

on their various disorders.

"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "but

I guess it's impossible."

"I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then

everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in

three months."

"You must tell me what you did."

"I went to a faith healer."

"But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year

and it didn't help a bit."

The other woman smiled and whispered,

"Try going alone next time"

 

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