Three Wraiths stalk
Sam.
MORDOR, Middle-Earth—Sometimes nothing goes your way. For the Dom-Land Caribou, game three just wasn't meant to be, as they lost to the Ringwraiths 3-0.
"My head hurts," said Sam, Merry and Boromir at various times during the post game press conference.
The Wraiths employed a simple yet effective strategy to nullify the Caribou.
"A strategy called 'head hunting,'" growled a irritated Gimli.
Indeed, it did seem that the Wraiths were more interested in hitting 'Bou heads than the puck.
But at times, the Caribou seemed to be their own worst enemies. Early in the first, the 'Bou, overly eager to keep the puck out of the net, ended up in a giant dogpile on Gandalf. The Wraiths took advantage of the wizard goalie's incapacitation to score—twice.
"We're sorry," said an extremely contrite Frodo. "We got excited."
The 'Bou spent the remainder of the evening ducking wildly as the Ringwraiths swung for the fences. They made sure to take Sam out first. Few penalties were called, which "encouraged" the Caribou to retaliate and a melée erupted at center ice.
A relatively unscathed Ringwraith chose that moment to score the third goal. The Caribou immediately protested as they thought the whistle had blown. Apparantly it had not.
"That's just not right," said Sam. Once everyone was sorted out the officials called the game after only one and a half periods.
"That's even less right," said Legolas. "This is the playoffs! What are those officials thinking with?"
A dejected, disgruntled Caribou headed to the locker room where their injuries were treated. Pop tarts were handed out liberally.
"We have hope that we will make a quick recovery," said Strider. He and the rest of the 'Bou are determined to put this behind them and come out with guns blazing next game.
"I'm takin' knees," said Sam. "It's a bad habit, but it's hard to break."
The Caribou will protest this game. The series continues at The One Rink in Mordor next week.
Notes: The votes are in and the outcome has been decided. Keep watching.
Notes Ia: Bubbles will be attending a MEHA...thing for a good chunk of July. Apparently, the scheduling committee was led by wargs. Although next week's Dom-Land update will be more or less on time, the following three weeks will be a lot more like less on time. Bubbles usually updates late every Friday, Bubbles Standard Time (Saturday for pretty much the rest of the world). She will try her darndest to keep to that schedule, however, with limited internet access and Bubbles' inability to calculate time differences, the updates may be a day late or early. Thank you for your patience.
Notes II:
Read about the aftermath of the Elfhead
concert at the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays a Banjo
here.
Notes III: View all the Dom-Land pictures and how they came to be here.
Notes IV: If you sent me something, see it here.
Playoff Primer
1) Each round is a seven-game series. Basically, two teams play each other until one team wins four games. That team wins the series.
2) There are no ties. If a match is tied at the end of three periods, the teams will play 20-minute overtimes until one of them wins or they both drop dead. In the case of dropping dead, all members of both teams have to be completely dead. The game will then be temporarily postponed.
3) The teams who have qualified for this year's playoffs
are:
The Dom-Land Caribou
The Ithilien Rangers
The Uruk-Hai
The Ringwraiths
Whoever wins the Caribou/Ranger series will go on to play the winner of the Uruk-Hai/Ringwraith series for the Orlando's Bloomers trophy. (Bubbles would like to remind everyone that the poll that chose the name of the championship trophy was really weird.)
4) Although there are traditions of throwing things onto the ice in the NHL during the playoffs, (i.e. the octopus in Detroit) the MEHA has strictly forbidden the flinging of cephalopods. This measure was taken to prevent the injury and/or death of anyone trying to capture The Watcher in the Water.
5) For more hockey terms and...stuff, click on Hockey Speak.
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