Legolas celebrates a goal...and a championship.

MORDOR, Middle-Earth—They are the champions, my friends. And they'll keep on fighting 'til the end. And in the end, the Dom-Land Caribou prevailed, 3-2 winning their first ever Orlando's Bloomers trophy.

After last week's messiness, the Caribou were determined to put a definitive end to the Ringwraith's season. With their tatty-cloaked backs to that sports-cliché wall, the Wraiths had no intention of letting that happen.

The game that ensued transcended or descended from (depending on which eye you look through) typical hockey to become "goons on ice." While the Ringwraiths resorted to their usual dirty tactics, the 'Bou proved they could thug it out to the end as well.

Led by their main tough-guy Sam, the lads hip-checked their way to the net, leaving bruised Wraiths in their wake.

"You can't show them no mercy, if you take my meaning," said Sam. "Especially if they hurt Mr. Frodo."

Legolas scored the first goal only to have the Ringwraiths pot the equalizer two minutes later. The second Wraith goal shifted momentum toward Mordor.

With the Ringwraiths threatening to take the series to a seventh game, the 'Bou did some deep soul searching in the locker room between periods. They emerged with a ferocious determination to win. Or at least as ferocious as a hobbit can get. Merry scored off a Pippin pass to tie the game at 2-2. The defence clamped down on the Wraiths, limiting them to 8 shots in the period.

"I wanted to get them back for the stitches last week," said Legolas, frowning slightly at the memory. "It's a good thing elves don't scar too badly."

The third period was a general melée, and the penalty score-keeper was reportedly reduced to tears. Head coach Elrond exhorted the members of his team outside the penalty box to shoot first, bash later.

Frodo took those words to heart, darted in stick side on the Witch King and launched a wrist shot that took the Wraith netminder by surprise. A shot that made the game 3-2. A shot that turned out to be the series clincher. The Dom-Land Caribou were MEHA Champions.

And Sam didn't even have to take out the Witch King's knees.

Gandalf made 22 saves in the win.

"It's just splendid!" said Gandalf. "We're all quite pleased! Frodo did an excellent job there at the end, overcoming his post-trauma thing."

"Meditation works!" said Frodo.

Usually after a the final buzzer sounds and a team clinches a championship, they get to raise their newly won trophy and skate a victory lap around the ice. The Ringwraiths, however, were not in the most hospitable of moods.

"They got a little, uh, testy," said Aragorn, "and we decided our best hope would be to leave."

The MEHA concurred and the trophy was sort of tossed at team captain Gandalf before officials scurried out of the One Rink.

"We're going to the Shire for the party," said Merry. "Everyone knows that hobbits throw the best shindigs."

"What's a shin-ding?" said Pippin.

With the championship in hand, the season over and the bloomers (nearly) hoisted, the Dom-Land Caribou are looking forward to a restful off-season (with lots of parties), which includes an exhibition game against Harry Potter and...associates.

Notes: Want to discuss the Caribou championship? The state of hockey in general? Legolas' hair? Now fans can get together and tawk amungst themselfs at the Caribou forum. Big thanks to Ivy for setting it up and bigger apologies for not putting it up sooner!

Notes Ia: Bubbles sincerely apologizes for not replying to any emails you may have sent her, even the odd ones. She is...well, the truth is, she is utter crap when it comes to answering emails. She reads them all and chuckles quite a bit, but has incredible difficulty hitting that "reply" button. Please forgive her.

Notes Ib: Bubbles will be attending a MEHA...thing for a good chunk of July. Apparently, the scheduling committee was led by wargs. The following three weeks of Dom Land updates will be a lot more like less on time. Bubbles usually updates late every Friday, Bubbles Standard Time (Saturday for pretty much the rest of the world). She will try her darndest to keep to that schedule, however, with limited internet access and Bubbles' inability to calculate time differences, the updates may be a day late or early. Thank you for your patience.

Notes II: Read about the aftermath of the Elfhead concert at the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays a Banjo here.

Notes III: View all the Dom-Land pictures and how they came to be here.

Notes IV: If you sent me something, see it here.

Playoff Primer

1) Each round is a seven-game series. Basically, two teams play each other until one team wins four games. That team wins the series.

2) There are no ties. If a match is tied at the end of three periods, the teams will play 20-minute overtimes until one of them wins or they both drop dead. In the case of dropping dead, all members of both teams have to be completely dead. The game will then be temporarily postponed.

3) The teams who have qualified for this year's playoffs are:
The Dom-Land Caribou
The Ithilien Rangers
The Uruk-Hai
The Ringwraiths

Whoever wins the Caribou/Ranger series will go on to play the winner of the Uruk-Hai/Ringwraith series for the Orlando's Bloomers trophy. (Bubbles would like to remind everyone that the poll that chose the name of the championship trophy was really weird.)

4) Although there are traditions of throwing things onto the ice in the NHL during the playoffs, (i.e. the octopus in Detroit) the MEHA has strictly forbidden the flinging of cephalopods. This measure was taken to prevent the injury and/or death of anyone trying to capture The Watcher in the Water.

5) For more hockey terms and...stuff, click on Hockey Speak.

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