Sam hops away from Lurtz.

February 14, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth—After last week's lopsided victory one might wonder about the Dom-Land Caribou's level of intensity. The Fighting Uruk-Hai found out pretty quickly– in five mintue increments. The Caribou defeated the Uruk-Hai 2-1 in between fights.

"Well, at least I brought some one with me to the box most times*," said Sam, who participated in five of the night's seven fights. Many would say these were some of the most bizarre fights ever seen in hockey due to the great height disparity.

"'Go for the knees, Samwise Gamgee,' that's what I always say," said Sam with icebags on his knuckles. In fact, all the fighting started because one of the Uruk-Hai took umbridge at a tripping penalty. Sam's tripping penalty.

"Well, Sam didn't actually do anything," said Frodo in a rare extended appearance at the post-game press conference. Normally, the 'Bou left-wing meditates after the game to ease his nerves after all the excitement. "He was just sort of, well, there. And then the Uruk-Hai just, well, fell over him. I guess he wasn't looking both ways before crossing the red line."

"And then he gets mad, see," said Pippin who is almost completely recovered from hisicee hangover, "the uruk-hai guy, not Sam, because Sam only gets mad when someone hurts Frodo. Or tries to hurt Frodo. And then there was the time that someone said a bad word in front of Elanor. But Boromir said he was sorry, so it was okay. But the uruk-hai guy was yelling or something. I guess he didn't like falling over. And he got really mad and stuff."

"Of course, I said I was sorry!" said Boromir, "but 'oh crumbs' doesn't exactly make you feel better when you accidently smack yourself in the face with your own locker door. And whose fault was that?"

"Merry's," said the rest of the team...including Merry. Apparently the 'Bou left wing had somehow taped Boromir's locker shut from the inside, causing the door to stick.

"So anyway," continued Merry, "he's all snarling and grarling, right--"

"The uruk-hai, not Merry," added Pippin. "Or Boromir."

"Yeah," said Merry, "and the ref blows the whistle for a penalty, and the guy is still snarling and grarling, even when Sam's skating to the box."

"And I didn't complain, neither, even when it wasn't my fault," said Sam.

"'Grarling' is not a word, Meriadoc Brandybuck," said Gandalf who make 27 saves in the win. "Yes, Sam rarely argues with the referees. He's quite polite that way."

"Well, then the Uruk-Hai just, well, plows into Sam," said Frodo. "I mean, he's going to the box."

"We had hope he hadn't been injured," said Aragorn, who scored both 'Bou goals in the second period and was involved in one of the later fights.

"But he plowed right back in there like a good lad," said Gimli, who was in involved with one of the other fights. "And beat the buzzards out of that stinking monster's kneecaps with his bare hands. It was a grand patellar luxation." Apparently, Gimli enjoys showing off his knowledge of anatomy.

"It was fascinating," said Legolas. "Of course for the rest of the night, the Uruk-Hai were gunning for him."

And indeed they were. The 'Bou enforcer spent almost as much time in the box as on the ice.

"But we won, thanks to Mr. Strider and Mr. Gandalf," said Sam. "And that's a good thing, by all accounts."

The 'Bou pack their bags and head out for a four game roadtrip. First up is the Eldar in Lothlorien, who are enjoying an almost unheard of level of success for an expansion team. They have won all three of their games...by four goals.

*Just going to explain this one without putting it in HockeySpeak. When players fight, they each get a five minute penalty. Both guys sit in the box so neither is shorthanded because of the fight.

P.S. Bubbles apologizes for the lateness of this update. She found the Predatory!Orlando images thread at Ka-Bloom.org. She was temporarily and happily distracted.

Notes: The MEHA championship trophy has been renamed "The Precious," which won the fan poll with 158 votes. "Trophy...Cup...Thing" was a bridesmaid yet again with 142 votes. "I'm just glad it's not plural anymore," said MEHA commissioner Bubbles. "I kind of liked 'Lordship and Dominion over Middle-Earth,'" said Merry. Thank you to everyone who voted! (Bubbles would post the results of the poll, but she can't figure out how to make Bravenet do it. She is sorry.)

Bubbles would like to thank everyone who sent in pictures or links! So thank you thank you from the cavernous depths of my soul!

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

Dom-Land Caribou Forum

Caribou Buttons and LiveJournal icons

~~~

~~~
Home About Roster Stats Gallery Archives Fans Terms Links

Partner Sites