Haldir focuses after getting propositioned in the penalty box.

April 4, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth— The Eldar continued their domination of the league against the Dom-Land Caribou, defeating the MEHA champions 4-2. They also continued their line of hideous uniforms.

"Bugger," said Gandalf who played admirably, stopping 37 shots. "They're an expansion team. They're not supposed to be that good."

"Well, neither are the Tampa Bay Lightning," said Legolas, "but there you are."

"Whose side are you on anyway?" said Gandalf.

"The Tampa Bay Lightning?" said Legolas, after some thought.

"We're elves and better than you all anyway," said Eldar goalie/coach Galadriel.

"Well, somebody's International Diplomacy training sure paid off," muttered Boromir who scored one of the 'Bou's two goals.

"Don't make me read your mind again, human," replied the Lady of Light.

Boromir retreated to the showers.

Glorfindel, Arwen and Figwit all took advantage of power play chances to score beautiful, graceful goals.

"La la la! Whee!" said Arwen.

"And bugger again, I say," said Gandalf.

The Caribou played without head coach Elrond who didn't even make it to the bench. The Master of Rivendell again evaded confrontation with his mother-in-law by locking himself in the laundry room clutching a hot water bottle and a copy of National Geographic.

Legolas and Haldir renewed their rivalry, scoring a goal a piece and a tidy little fight...or three. However, the insults thrown back and forth were nothing compared with the comments and clothing thrown into the penalty boxes from the stands. Apparently some fans thought it was an Elfhead concert as paper airplanes with hotel keys came flying down, as well as empty water bottles, programs and various items of ladies underwear.

The Ladies of Legolas' Keep snagged the recently vacated seats behind the penalty boxes and took every opportunity to express their opinions at whoever happened to be sitting there. Although they didn't quite have the right angle to throw things into the boxes their commentary more than made up for it.

"They've got really...vivid imaginations, don't they" said Legolas. "But the penalty kill suggestions were quite helpful actually. I'm bringing it up next team meeting. And I definitely know what I'll be calling Haldir next game."

"One of them kept staring at me," said Haldir. "I mean really staring. And I don't know if some of the stuff they yelled were threats or promises."

"I don't think some of that is physically possible," said Legolas.

Haldir got an intensely speculative look on his face, and MEHA commissioner Bubbles turned off the microphones thereby closing the press conference.

"Thank you to all the fans for your enthusiasm," said the commissioner to end the evening, "but please stop throwing things in the penalty boxes!"

Next up for the 'Bou is a three game road trip against the Ringwraiths, Uruk-Hai and Ithilien Rangers. The Caribou desperately need wins as they are currently fourth in the league with a 5-4-2 record.

Notes: The NHL playoffs are here! The hobbits would like to say they are big fans of Martin St. Louis for obvious reasons. See image here. He's the one in the middle. Bubbles, however, will be missing Luc Robitaille and Sean Avery.

Sorry this is late! To make up for the tardiness of this update, here's a bunny with a pancake on its head.

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

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