A few seconds before mayhem, Strider waits for the clean-up crew to remove the Hello Kitties.

May 2, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth— Hello Kitty, hello drama. In another strange day at the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays the Banjo, the Dom-Land Caribou defeated the Fighting Uruk-Hai 4-1 amidst a shower of Hello Kitties.

Yes, Hello Kitties.

At first, there was a rumor that the Hello Kitties were some sort of fan protest against being formally scolded by the MEHA about throwing undergarments into the penalty boxes.

"Actually, it's probably the fallout from the Sanrio Summer Sale," said Strider.

"How do you know about the Sanrio Summer Sale?" said Boromir.

"Arwen," replied the King of Gondor and Arnor. "You don't even want to know what she's done to the guest bathroom."

But first the game. Strider, making a return from his shin injuries against the team who injured him, scored midway through the first period. Just a minute later, a yet-to-be identified Uruk-Hai beat Gandalf glove-side to even the match.

After a quiet second period, in what can only be called a goal-scoring fury Pippin scored his team-leading fourth hattrick in the third period. In a time-honored tradition, hats began to rain down from the rafters. But on closer inspection the team realized the hats looked a little strange. Instead of raining hats, it was raining Hello Kitty plush dolls.

"We've got almost every Kitty you can think of," said head coach Elrond. "Winnepeg Jets Kitty, Star Wars Kitty, Usher Kitty, Goth Kitty, Visigoth Kitty. We've even got a Beowulf Kitty. You name it, we got it."

Well, almost. Surfer Kitty met a tragic end and dragged Pippin down with her. Granted, it wasn't Surfer Kitty's fault. Lurtz became enraged at the sheer volume of Hello Kitty and went on the rampage. Pippin went from elation to possible permanent psychological trauma when the captain of the Uruk-Hai yanked Surfer Kitty away from the hobbit, bit off her head and spit it back onto the ice. Stuffing flew everywhere.

Pippin fled.

"He locked himself in the laundry room," said a still-fuming Merry. "You could hear the sobbing through the door."

"That [censored] [censored] [censored] just ripped that Kitty out of Pippin's little hands!" screamed Frodo, who had to do a double round of yoga just to calm down enough to make it to the press conference.

"We'll get him next time, Mr. Frodo!" said Sam who along with Frodo and Strider had to be physically restrained on the bench. Merry ran after Pippin, and Boromir, Legolas, Gimli and Gandalf immediately jumped on Lurtz and proceeded to beat the ever-lovin' tar out of him. It took half an hour to get things sorted out, and officials decided to call the game in the third period. Suspensions may be handed out by the MEHA disciplinary board.

Caribou staff immediately whisked Surfer Kitty away for emergency cleaning and repair. She and Pippin have been reunited.

The Caribou have vowed revenge.

Merry is reportedly saving Beowulf Kitty for Eowyn and Faramir's anniversary.

*Just a note, I don't really know if Hello Kitty has products even remotely resembling the ones listed in this story.

Sorry these updates (and forum stuff and emails) have been sorta late. It's that time of year (end of spring semester).

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

Dom-Land Caribou Forum

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