Pippin can't wait for intermission.

June 20, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth— Break out the oxygen. Although the Dom-Land Caribou prevailed in the end, the 7-3 win against the Hobbit team was, as Legolas put it, "unecessarily interesting." Due to the suspension of half the 'Bou offence, Pippin, Merry and Boromir were double-shifted and obliged to stay on the ice the entire game. The suspended 'Bou watched and cheered and laughed from the press box.

For the still-missing-the-point hobbit team, this was a golden opportunity, and they seized it gleefully. The game represented two landmark occasions, they scored more than two goals in one game and they lost by less than 15 goals. In other words, for the first time in team history, they played three whole periods without invoking the Mercy Rule.

"Hurrah!" said hobbit head coach Bilbo.

This doesn't mean however, that they didn't put the puck in their own net. Of the seven goals scored on the Old Gaffer, two were by his teammates.

"You kids get off my crease!" said the Old Gaffer, who was nonetheless pleased at the outcome of the game.

The Caribou who actually played the game were not as enthused. Although their competition wasn't exactly...competetive, the three forwards who had to play the entire game without breaks found themselves a tad winded. The Caribou hobbits, naturally, felt the need to really challenge their countrymen and women, which led to over exertion and hyperventilating between periods. In fact, Pippin was still attatched to an oxygen tank during the post-game press conference.

"More air!" said the 'Bou left wing while sucking on his oxygen mask. Apparently, skating for three entire periods without breaks was more than Pippin could handle. Even Boromir, who has the stamina of your above-average snowplow, seemed a bit tired.

"Could use a nap," he said.

"Could use a coma," added Merry.

"Oh, it wasn't that bad," said Legolas. "Gimli and I have to do it every game."

"Hey, we're used to little breaks, okay?" said Boromir. "And anyway, your little groupie found a new hobby."

"Which one of his 90 billion groupies could you possibly mean?" said a rather testy Merry.

Lobelia "Pit Bull" Sackville-Baggins, after finding the Caribou defence-elf unresponsive to her attentions, started in on the Elder son of Denethor. At one point, the Captain of Gondor leapt into the hobbit bench just to get away from the determined hobbit and her umbrella.

"She's gotta lay off those romance novels," said Boromir. "And the Mountain Dew."

"She called him her 'love-rhino,'" giggled Merry.

However creeped out he may have been, Boromir's flight left his teammates even more shorthanded. Mr. Proudfoot took that opportunity to try and pass the puck to someone, anyone.

"I just hoped I was pointed in the right direction," he said. "And bang! There she went." Mr. Proudfoot had accidently scored.

"I was out of position," admitted Gandalf. "It's hard to be in the right position against hobbits."

With Boromir chased six ways to Sunday by Ms. Sackville-Baggins, Merry and Pippin flung themselves willy nilly into the action, causing even more confusion.

The puck bounced of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins as she hurtled after Boromir, and bounced into the net.

The last hobbit goal was scored by a Bolger who may or may not have been officially on the team.

Each Caribou, except Gandalf, scored.

Next week, the Caribou get their suspended teammates back for a doubleheader against the Rohand Riders and the Ithilien Rangers.

NOTES: For some reason, it's been rather difficult for Bubbles to update on Fridays, so from now on, DL updates will take place on Saturdays, Bubbles' Standard Time, which is Sunday for most of the rest of the world. Sorry about that.

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