Sam waits for a pass.

August 16, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth—Gandalf continued his shutout streak, and the Fighting Uruk-Hai continued their weird behavior streak, as the Dom-Land Caribou defeated the Uruks 5-0. The MEHA champions closed out the series 5-1 and look ahead to their second straight finals.

"Yee-haw!" said Pippin. Pippin scored off the opening face-off, which caused the Caribou right-wing to attempt a little dance.

The MEHA champions found a somewhat dazed group of Uruks, who had been chastised mightily by their head coach Saruman. The White Wizard had imposed curfews on his team, and revoked television privleges on the bus. Instead of pro-wrestling, the Uruks were forced to watch Balto II: Wolf Quest from Isengard to Dom-Land. The result was a team that seemed nearly tranquilized.

"They were really calm," said Boromir, who scored the second of the Caribou's goals. "It was rather eerie."

"We kept expecting them to explode or something," said Merry. "But they never did. It was like they were hypnotized or something."

Pippin added the universal "hypnotized" hand gesture.

The sedate nature of the Uruk's play allowed the Caribou to run different combinations all evening. Sam, who for once was not called upon to defend Frodo, took the opportunity to score twice.

"That'll make the kids happy," said Sam. Frodo, quite pleased to spend an entire game unthreatened, scored the last 'Bou goal.

In an even stranger turn, the Uruks didn't return to the ice for the third period until an off-ice official went to fetch them.

"We were just planning a golf tournament," said Uruk-Hai team captain Lurtz, the only member of the Isengard team to make it to the press conference.

"Apparently the Uruk-Hai get very enthusiastic about golf," said Gandalf mildly. The grey wizard made 17 saves in the shutout. When asked about the potential goal-scoring power of the Eldar, Gandalf was thoughtful.

"I'll have to stretch more," he said.

The Caribou and Uruk-Hai shared the traditional post-game handshake without incident, probably due to a Balto-addled team of Uruk-Hai or the extra squads of on-ice security. The MEHA definitely breathed a sigh of relief. After the Hello Kitty incident, the league was wary of any meeting between these two teams, but the series that was expected to explode ended in a sort of bleh. The league is looking into drug testing for the Fighting Uruk-Hai. Saruman denies everything. The Uruk-Hai Thigh Appreciation Society doesn't seem fazed by any of these events and continues their enthusiastic support.

Now that the Uruk-Hai are history, the Caribou must do a quick shift in strategy to prepare for the Eldar, who have been relaxing for the past week after defeating the Ithilien Rangers.

"Mr. Legolas really wants to get that Mr. Haldir," said Sam.

"Sam, you don't have to call me 'Mr.,'" said Legolas.

"That would be mighty strange, Mr. Legolas," said Sam.

The Finals start next week.

**Note: Due to family circumstances the Dom-Land Caribou updates may be a little...wonky. They may be early or more likely late, but problably no later than Mondays. Sorry about that. Here's the Snape link.

Hey, Caribou fans. Here's another poll that will be up for one week.

This Poll is Closed. Thank You.

(Totally unrelated, but as my Mom and I were watching the swimming portion of the Olympics, we had this lovely exchange:
Mom (looking at a head bobbing around in the pool): Wow. That really looks like a man!
Me: That is a man, Mom.
Mom: Oh... Thank goodness. I'd feel so sorry for her parents. She'd be such an ugly woman.
Me: That's a man.
If you're reading this, Brendan Hansen, my Mom thinks you look like a man!)

***It has come to our attention that some people have been listing the Dom-Land Caribou as their own personal websites. We would appreciate it if you didn't. Thank you.***

Playoff Primer

1) Each round is a seven-game series. Basically, two teams play each other until one team wins four games. That team wins the series.

2) There are no ties. If a match is tied at the end of three periods, the teams will play 20-minute overtimes until one of them wins or they both drop dead. In the case of dropping dead, all members of both teams have to be completely dead. The game will then be temporarily postponed.

3) The teams who have qualified for this year's playoffs are:
The Dom-Land Caribou
The Fighting Uruk-Hai
The Ithilien Rangers
The Eldar
Whoever wins the Caribou/Uruk-Hai series will go on to play the winner of the Rangers/Eldar series for The Precious.

4) Although there are traditions of throwing things onto the ice in the NHL during the playoffs, (i.e. the octopus in Detroit) the MEHA has strictly forbidden the throwing of cephalopods. This measure was taken to prevent the injury and/or death of anyone trying to capture The Watcher in the Water.

NOTES: For some reason, it's been rather difficult for Bubbles to update on Fridays, so from now on, DL updates will take place on Saturdays, Bubbles' Standard Time, which is Sunday for most of the rest of the world. Sorry about that.

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

Dom-Land Caribou Forum

Caribou Buttons and LiveJournal icons

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