Aragorn concentrates. (Plz ignore Washington Caps guy in the back kthnxbi.)

Feb. 7, 2005

DOM-LAND, Middle-Earth— The NHL may have callously abandonded its fans, but the MEHA soldiered on. The Dom-Land Caribou opened the 2005 season against a much improved Hobbit team, but still won 7-4. But if the 'Bou are to snatch The Precious back from The Eldar, they are starting at a disadvantage.

The Caribou were shorthanded as Gandalf is still recovering from ligament damage he recieved in last year's post season. Team doctors are uncertain about the wizard's prognosis and refuse to release a timetable for his return. Gandalf remained on the bench in street clothes grumbling contstantly that he could play.

"Them bones don't spring back the way they used to," said Sam who scored for the 'Bou. "Those doctors want to make sure he's good and hale before letting him put on them leg pads."

"!#$#@!!" said the Grey Wizard.

Gandalf's injury forced the 'Bou experiment with Gimli in goal and an empty net, which turned out to be equally effective. The Hobbits scored twice against Gimli and twice into the empty net.

"I've got to work on that catching bit," said the dwarf. "And my knees hurt."

"Are we even allowed to change positions in the middle of the game?" asked Boromir. Coach Elrond shrugged.

The 'Bou were taken by surprise by the organization and general coherency of the Hobbits who last season scored more goals on themselves than on opposing teams.

"We've been practicing in a genuine fashion," said hobbit head coach Bilbo who was quite pleased his team made it through the entire three periods without committing an own-goal. Apparently, the Hobbits were threatened with contraction by the MEHA and began attending hockey camps all over the world by ex- and currently unemployed NHL stars*. Unfortunately, not everyone made it to the meetings appropriate to their position. The Gaffer, for one, ended up doing power skating drills instead of goalie exercises.

"I like that Teemu Selanne," he said. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins became quite enamored of Jarome Iginla, and somehow missed defence conditioning.

In the end, however, the Hobbits finally seemed to know what they were doing and took the ice with newfound conviction. In fact, Lobelia S-B scored first.

"Yee-haw!" she said.

The Caribou, who might have been relieved to pull an "easy" team for the season opener realized they had to take the Hobbits seriously and responded accordingly. Aragorn jumped up and flipped a pass to Frodo who tied the game. Frodo returned the favor later in the evening.

"I don't think we'll be seeing much of that Mercy Rule this season," said the former Ringbearer of his countrymen and women's play.

A flurry of goals by Merry and Pippin put the Caribou ahead for good in the second period, but the All-Hobbits were not discouraged. Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger potted two goals, and Lobelia S-B another.

"We're rugged!" she said.

Boromir, still amused at the sheer number of hobbits on the ice couldn't bring himself to charge the Shire folk.

"They're so cute," he said.

"Lobelia will be thrilled to hear it," said Legolas who also scored for the 'Bou.

"Shut up," said Boromir.

Pippin has lost the schedule again, so next week's game will be a surprise for everyone except the other team.

Notes: Due to the severe depletion of players because of Cave Blight, the Moria Orcs have been reorganized into the Mighty Orcs. The Mighty Orcs include orcs of every variety. Yay.

Notes II: New season, new banner. Yay! The Fan Stuff, Gallery and Stats sections have been updated. Woo.

*These may or may not exist in real life. Thank you diveofficer for the suggestion of an MEHA/NHL combo!

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