Merry dashes toward an opportunity.

Feb. 14, 2005

DOM-LAND, Middle-Earth— The Dom-Land Caribou had to thank a benevolent schedule once again as they faced a depleted Ringwraith team and tied 2-2. The Wraiths matched the 'Bou goal for goal and missing goalie for missing goalie, because, yet again, the Witchking was dead. Eowyn in the home opener for the Rohan Riders, had left the Ringwraiths shorthanded. With all the attention focused on Galadriel's outbursts, Eowyn had hoped to maim under the radar of the MEHA Disciplinary Committee. The Committee has suspended the Shieldmaiden of Rohan and ordered her to undergo anger management classes with Galadriel.

This all worked out splendidly for the 'Bou who were again without Gandalf. The Grey Wizard is still recovering from ligament damage from last season's finals.

"He said his bum's going to flatten out if he sits too much longer," said Legolas. Gandalf has gotten increasingly cranky the longer team trainers keep him on the bench. He's also been getting creative, joining Merry in the neverending torment of everyone in general and Boromir in particular.

The favored son of Denethor just shook his head when asked about how long it took him to peel the 37 rolls of tape off his locker.

But Boromir seemed to channel his aggravation well, scoring one goal for the 'Bou and setting up a second goal by Frodo.

"Success is the best revenge," said Frodo.

"No it's not," said Boromir. Merry was unavailable for comment as he was cleaning out the 12 gallons of toothpaste from his locker. Apparently, Gandalf can be bought.

"Everything is minty fresh!" said Pippin.

The Ringwraiths battled just as hard as the Caribou without their goalie. Like the Caribou, the Wraiths converted one of their defence-Wraiths (?) into a netminder and skated with different line combinations and staggered shifts. Ringwraith #3 "Gavin" was sent to the net where he performed admirably for having only a week's worth of practice.

Gimli aquitted himself well for the Caribou turning away 21 shots. The former defence-dwarf had been fitted with equipment that wasn't so tight around his entire body.

"I like having the big stick," said Gimli who was still brandishing his new goalie stick at the press conference. Equipment envy aside, Gimli has stated that he preferred to play defence.

"You can't score," he said, "even with the big stick."

Caribou representatives will neither confirm nor deny that the team is considering the "hire" of a temporary/back-up goalie.

Up for the Caribou next week is another break, the Rohan Riders without Eowyn.

Notes: Due to the severe depletion of players because of Cave Blight, the Moria Orcs have been reorganized into the Mighty Orcs. The Mighty Orcs include orcs of every variety. Yay.

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