catch me :: if :: i fall


Sunday, May 29, 2005

:: Shopping FREAK!! ::

Something happened today and I was supposed to jot it down but I forgot all about it. And now I’m at work trying to recall what it was.. and I cant remember.

Saw this satin girl boxer from La Senza and it looks real cute. Maybe I should get a few & wear it when I’m wearing my skirts or when I meet him *winks*. Hah. Price $29.

Got myself another ¾ cropped pants from Surfbabe at $48. I got one yesterday from U2 and it cost me $29. I’m spending money like water and it’s damn scary. Damn cards. I should leave my card at home. I got those pants mostly for my outdoor work. It’s so damn hot these days that I’ve actually stopped wearing jeans to work. My legs feel like they’re in a sauna.

This SALE period, I need to go search for more skirts. Roxy and Surfbabe have a few cute little skirts. Maybe I should ask Anna to get some for me since she’s in Australia. *Smiles*

Work was as usual -- BORING . Was running around in heels like a mad woman. Don’t ask what happened. “Careless people at work.” After work waited for a few people then went to chill at MakanSutra till like 3 in the morning. 5 set me home. (5 is a person if you're wondering.)

Talked to Azy for a while on MSN. He’s been so busy these past few days so we didnt have the time to talk and catch up. I thought he was being a typical male and avoiding me.. Hah then again.. I shall not say anymore...

Hmm I didn’t mention that I got PLP’s CD. I mean I got it not because of him ok!! I actually do like a few of their songs and I thought I could rip the songs and change them to mp3 format but alas.. The CD is copy controlled so there is no way I can rip em.. *pouts*. So I can only listen to the songs when I’m at home.

He’s going off to Hong Kong tomorrow. Said he will see me when he comes back. I wanted to sms him to remind him to bring some condoms when he goes over.. heh. I mean he's a MAN.. and he's there for a week. I'm sure he'll be there for some "Entertainment" apart from working.. But I didn't sms him abt that condom part la..

He was shocked when I told him was still outside at 3am.. he thought I was at home already and asked me to go to sleep. When I said I was outside he quickly replied asking where I was, who I was out with, partying or what, etc.. tsk tsk. I need to have a talk with him when he comes back. But then again, whenever I see him, we never get to the talking part la.

Tsk! I really have to get this over and done with.


Eh i just read my older entry and he did say he wanted to meet me before he goes off.. But he didnt. He did smsed me just now sayin

"Sorry for the late reply. I was very busy. Going to HK tomorro, etc..."

I smsed him cos I saw on friendster he changed his status to In a relationship so I smsed him sayin that "now I can't date him anymore is it?" And he said " Of course you can." So mentioned what I saw and he said he did that for show only. If he has a gf, he will put her picture in it. BS

Who knows he WAS with another girl today. Right?



Saturday, May 28, 2005

:: Dirty Minded Girl ::

Was working and I got to do inner door so I get to watch The Philharmonic Orchestra. Ok la the first few minutes can concentrate on the show.. then you know how melodious the music can get.. then your mind tend to wonder around.. then u tend to get sleepy.. today.. my mind.. very dirty sia.. think of sex only.. ahhahhaha. I think I was TOO damn bored la.

Went to chill out at MakanSutra again. Now i'm begining to think that this will be our hangout every weekend if most of our kaki's are working.



Friday, May 27, 2005

:: SALE SALE SALE ::

Great Singapore Sale starts today. I don’t know why, but I feel so lethargic today. Really not in the mood to go to work but no choice, have to get my butt of the sofa and drag myself to work.

Nothing interesting to write about. After work went to MakanSutra to chill out with my colleagues and well gossip a little.

I don’t think I like Adrian anymore. Don’t ask me why; I just don’t.

Oh ya.. met Wan (Superb la dey!).. that Wan and when he saw me he had a shocked look on his face. He was like.. OMG YOU LOST WEIGHT! He was looking up and down and he was saying that sentence over and over again, saying he almost clden recognize me and he said I look pretty *flutters eyelashes* hahhaha.

Ok la I think I cheated a bit bcos I was in my heels and they were like 2 and a half inch.. You know additional height and all, so mayb that’s why I look slimmer.. ahhahha

But he didn’t have to know THAT ryte. *winks*



Wednesday, May 25, 2005

:: Miss Him Kiss Him ::

Just got my Motorola Razr hp. So went to play around with it before I’m off to meet him. He called asking if I’m not tired to met up with him. I duno but its still like half hearted you know. Half of me want to see him but the other half doesn’t. So well he made the decision for me (I like, since all the men I’ve previously dated cldn’t make up their minds). He was like.. “ok I’m coming over to see you. Will call you when I’m there.

Oh I didn’t mention that he just smsed me out of the blue saying that he missed me a lot and he sincerely wants to see me. That was the day before but I was damn tired so I told him that I’m really not in the mood / I’m cranky so he let me off. He then said that he WILL see me tomorrow after work. He said he wants to pick me up from work but well, I end early and it’s a weekday so no one will chill with me till he ends work. So I went home first.. and well just wait and see la if he calls… So since I got my new phone, I went to read up and try smsing with it. Its so difficult as its different from Nokia. The delete, spacing and enter button is all different. And add to that, I’ve got my swollen thumb, so it took me ages to sms.


Its 4am and I just came home.

I met up with him. He lost weight, good for him; he looks better. He’s going to Hong Kong sometime next week. Their band’s album will be out tomorrow.

Today was… well I duno how to describe it.. We nearly did it.. yea I can’t believe that I actually let him! MUNIERA!! *slap slap* YOU've got the nerve to let him?! Damn him and his sweet tongue. He tried but it couldn’t go in. Not his fault.. Mine. HAH! But I mean its good that he didn’t just, u know forced it in since he was there above me.. He was resisting the urge and it took him a lot not to do it since I mean like I’m there.. opened.. Ok la the details are too juicy for some people.. *paiseh* so its all gonna stay in my memory. Sigh

After that we lay down for a while.. just touching each other and resting.. I don’t know how to tell you this but well, I duno how I felt abt him anymore. I used to have butterflies in my stomach when I see him. Today his smile was from ear to ear when he saw me walking to him car, but I didn’t have that feeling.. Maybe I know he wont stay and thats why I’m not pinning for him. I mean I know the routine, he wlden call for like ages.. then he wld call and say he miss me and wld wanna meet up with me. And the cycle goes again and again. In between I know he will be seeing other girls also since I mean we are not exclusive or something. I mean I know that he’s not worth my time but I still want to see him. What the hell is wrong with me?

He did say that he didn’t know why he doesn’t have a girlfriend and I told him that

“well because maybe you don’t want one”

and he goes

“No girls like me.. but I know there’s a girl who really likes me.. just as much as I like her.


And he was looking and smiling at me. And I went

“wat makes you think that I like you that much”

and he gave me that look (the shocked look).. hahah but before he said anything else, I kissed his words off.


AND then, he asked me to go with him for his interview with the new paper tomorrow. And in my mind was like.. (you sure not? You want your band mates to know that you’re seeing me? I mean they get along ok with me, we can talk cock and bull story but I also know that his band mates know he’s a player and I think they’ll be surprised that I’m going out with him.)

But I told him I can’t cos I already had my day planned ahead. I had to visit someone in the hospital. So he was like

“ok then, before I leave (for Hong Kong), I’m gonna call you and we shall eat at the food centre ok? ( I live opposite a well known food centre.)

and I was like

“well I’ll have to see cos next week I’ll be doing my ALO and I’ll be very busy. Just call me and I’ll see how it is.”


Well I know him; he will call when he wants something from me.. and well, I’m not waiting for that call that he said he would give me. I mean if he calls, well he will.

Shit, I have to get myself back together again. I do not know what’s happening to me. I mean I do not tolerate all these nonsense, you know dating people just for the fun of it. I’m a kind of person who’s in relationships, not just you know.. this! I don’t share my men.

This is so not me. Why am I doing this?



-- Part 2 --

Went to Dior counter at Shaw and well, the limited edition ultra shine lipstick is gone. Quite sad la. Then walked around with Mama to see if there were any good deals around but there’s none.

We (me and my 3 surrogate mothers) were supposed to visit Syahan at the hospital after 5 so before visiting her, we were to have Hi tea at Crown Royal Plaza Hotel or something that sounds like that. Dam sinful I tell you the food. So well walking towards the hotel, I noticed DFS and I was like.. AHHHHH CAN GET MY LISTICK FROM DFS! But supposed to eat first la then maybe can drop by to look look see see.

Then after eating plates after plates of food, Mama just put the lipstick on my table and I was like looking at her… And she just smiled.. She got the lipstick for me! She said she rushed to DFS before meeting me to get the lipstick cos well she knows that whole of S’pore’s Dior counters, that shade (well the whole collection actually) ran out. Limited Edition so… that’s it la.

Kiss me PINK!


Monday. May 23, 2005

:: Still tired from the WALK ::

Surprise Surprise, Esplanade won the Corporate theme for big walk.

Its name was first, followed by Toys R us and then Rentokil. I duno how the hell we were able to win when.. well we did nothing but just cheer and well shaking our durians. Oh well we won so means we get some prizes. That’s all that matters.

Miss M


Sunday, May 22, 2005

:: Bite me Kiss me - Bite YOU Kiss YOU ::

-- Part 1 --

You know.. someone said that he wants to bite and kiss me.. ahahhaaha I’m serious!

What the heck is wrong with people these days? Yesterday I was a teddy bear and today I’m something to munch on?

Take note. Both were said by two different men. *winks*

And before anything happens or before ur mind wonders to places, please ah I’m not a slut. Those people who said that are.. well colleagues of mine. So I do know them on some level. Enuf said.

Oh had some sinful quadruple layered chocolate cake. DAMN good! YUM YUM!

Its 1am now and I have like 3 hrs before I have to wake up and WALK. I just had some bread and now I’m so full. So I’m going off to bed and will update u later.. Oh Tommy called but I was in the showers so I missed his call.. Shit la I dun wanna entertain these people at night. I have a feeling that he will call me at godly hr at nights… damn.

Nights all.


-- Part 2 --

Some of my friends said I’m scandalous… since when? I thought I was the innocent shy girl all this while? No? *Grins*

My little toes hurt from all the walk I did. Stupid BIG walk, slept for 2 hrs only, waited for the bus for 20 mins, I thought I was late and apparently there were more ppl later then I am. Nuthing much to say for my FIRST or shall I say VIRGIN Big Walk. Took pictures with a mosquito and a bug.

Hahha pathetic.

Yea. I’m tired and sleepy but I just can’t sleep. Kept thinking. Of what, I do not know. Everything seems to be swimming in my head. I really need to get on with life. I keep living in the past and wondering what if’s..

And his gf looks so ugly. I just noticed it. I can’t help but saying that I think I look better then her. Hurmph.


Hmm what shall i be today... Barbie?



Saturday, May 21, 2005

:: Bloated and sleepy ::

Just came back at 3am… from work / supper / chit chat session. It’s one of my colleague’s birthday tomorrow so we gathered and got her something that she told me she liked. (",) Surprised her after work but.. haha the surprise backfired. But well in the end she was still surprised by what we did. (This story was added in at the last minute so it's a bit incomplete. Might add in more details later.)

Tomorro is The New Paper Big Walk day. Crap we have to report in at 6am.. Speaking of which, I have to go look and see what time my bus starts operating in the morning. Shit la im not a morning person.. And on a Sunday sommore! Die la. Sure cranky but hopefully the others can make me laugh. Then i think i'll be ok.

Ok pretty safe I have a bus here at 5am so.. no worries.

WHY is it that no one believes me when I say that I do no have a boyfriend?

*Sigh..* now smsing with a Cisco officer. He’s married la.. He’s bored at work so he sms me. He also dun believe I dun have a bf.. Actually almost everyone at work give me that “No way! Ur kidding ryte” kindda expression when I said “No I don’t. I’m single.” Screw it la. I’m so tired. I duno if I can wake up tomorrow at 4am in time for big walk.. mayb I wont sleep. I will force myself to sleep and wake up later today.. like now its 3.45am and im still wide awake. Just need to have a few cups of coffee and I think I’ll be fine.

Oh I didn't mention that I got the Flipside Tee (had to wear it for tomorro's Big Walk). It's yellow in color and it looks damn nice! There's a picture of a "flipped" man at the bottom corner. It's cute.

Did I mention a few guys has been wanting to get to know me the past few days? And no I do not know them..

And everyone says I’m cute.. what the fuck.. And he (Cisco Man) says that he feels like pinching me and hugging me and dunt wanna let go. So now I’m a life size teddy bear la.. *rolls eyes*

Oh ya saw Tommy, the old batch security guard at Esplanade.. Asked for my number… *Shrugs* He called me like at 1 plus but I was still at MakanSutra eating.. heh.

Aiyah so tired la I want to go to sleep already. Still cannot log in geocities to update my entries.. stupid sia.


I'm A Teddy Bear



Wednesday, May 18, 2005

:: Looking for my Mr Policeman ::

Had to go for a refresher course.. and ppl actually LIKED my hair! Ahhaha said I l ook good in this hairstyle.. now im torn. Some said it doesn’t suit me. Some said I look good, one even wanted to cut her hair like MINE! Hahhaha. Had lunch with part of the FAB 5 at Thai Express again.. before our course..

After class we went to V Tea Room (I think) at Esplanade.. SINFUL PLACE!! I had Tiramisu milkshake.. damn balls; its such a kick ass drink! Had quiche and mudcake too.. omg.. I tell you, I look at how I spent today on food, I think I have to find a rich boyfriend to accommodate my lifestyle. Lol.

FUCK! Its 4.32am (thurs morning) as usual me listening to the radio and guess who’s on airplay.. yea HIM and his bandmates.. dammit. I mean ok I’m over him but I mean when I listen to his songs.. it just all comes back.. what am I gonna do now? Not listen to the radio? I need some distraction.

Where’s my Mr Policeman…


Lost and still Searching..



Tuesday, May 17, 2005

:: R my I's playin tricks on me? ::

Marc “Yandao” Meyer asked me out.. yea the same Marc Meyer from Female magazine some months ago’s edition. I think its 50 Most Gorgeous people or something. Ahahhaha I’m serious. I don’t know if he’s joking or he really want to go out with me.. And he’s been using sweet words… *Be very wary of guys with a sweet tongue * He says I manis (sweet in malay..) Damn freaky as no one calls or says that to me. Cute is over rated la. Everyone says I’m cute so.. that is out. And he remembers that I’m his dance partner! Ahhahha well yea once upon a time, I was his dance partner and I thought he forgot all abt that already.. cos I mean well it happen yons ago when I was in my late teens… I think.

*Take note – I’ve known Marc since I was like 17.. so he’s an old time friend.*

Ending he calls me sweetie.. which he never does…

Was at work.. busy and you know wat happened?!!

I SAW HIM!! Well I thought I did cos when I saw his side profile, I was like Aarghhhh HES’S back! Then I tried to get to him but ppl are coming my way and when I reached the door, he’s gone. Well I duno if its my eyes playin tricks on me… but DAMMIT I DID SEE HIM! Arghhhhhh!!!

I went to wait outside during intermission and after show but I didn't see him. So sad.. *Pouts*

Oh him is my Mr Policeman from SECOM. Heh *winks*


Me



Monday, May 16, 2005

:: Lunch Date ::

This is damn freaky… I was abt to go to sleep and I was humming to Maroon 5’s – Must Get Out and usually before I go to bed I will switch on my radio & let the music put me to sleep & guess what song was on the airplay? MAROON 5’S MUST GET OUT!! Damn weird.

Sid told me that he’s gonna perform at Esplanade & he asked whether I’ll be taking care of his band, I told him that I don’t think so cos I’ve been given 2 group names and I do not think that it’s them. So just have to wait for him to update me with more details.

Had a big lunch with Wendy and No.5 at Thai Express. Found out some pretty interesting things and I shall not mention them here. My thumb hurts and so I shall not type much.

Today was an interesting day. Imagine me, Wendy and No.5 at upper concourse. Yup us 3; total gonner la. We laughed until I cried and Wendy’s jaw hurts. Never laughed so much in the past 3 mths. Cracks me up la those 2 girls and we are having another lunch session this Thursday. Will update again on who’s been invited.

K la my thumb hurts and I need my beauty sleep.

Oh and he did ask me out the other time… hmm there are a few guys who have been VERY nice to me since my ordeal with.. Mr Cancer..


Ms Gemini



Sunday, May 15, 2005

:: Kiss me PINK; Mr Policeman ::

Woo hoooo.. OMG OMG cute guy alert! I was working today.. and you know those V-VIP ppl.. Lim Boon Seng or Lim Boh Seng or Tan Tok Seng.. It doesn’t matter la.. as long as they V-VIP, they will have a bodyguard with them.. ehem ehem.

SO just now there was this one bodyguard.. FUCKIN cute! Ok la actually few weeks back also got one Chinese bodyguard.. BUT THIS ONE MALAY! Wakhwkahwkahwa ya balls! He looks like a tanned Chinese la.. I mean those who spend time under the sun *drools*..

Anyways it started with me doing the house sweep, which is actually us checking the venue for anything left behind from previous show/day, so he was there with the Esplanade security guy, looking at the seats and then they noticed the row missing of 2 chairs.. so they approached me. *LUCKY I was there.. if not wasted..*

So they ask me, then I asked them for the ticket and I noticed its one level up. And I told them so and they didn’t believe me cos usually those V-VIP will sit and the main foyer. But well too bad la I mean the ticket says its one more level up. So while having THAT conversation, my eyes roam around and landed on his security name tag.. whoa MALAY sommore! Ahhaha so I speak in malay.. ahhahhah fucking flirt ryte! So talk talk sommore and told them to go up and I said that I can send him up by the lift which is faster but the Esplanade man said “Nvm we take the stairs..” Cheh. Spoil.

So went back to my door.. then he passed by, he smile, I also smile la.. then ask me where nearest food place.. wah tot he want to ask me out go makan.. lol (fucking not shy!) no la at that point I DIDN’T think of such. My mind was thinking of the food places near here so I asked him if he wants fine dining or food court or open air kind of place.. then he smile and touch his stomach and said “For me la I’m hungry.” ALAMAK SO CUTE! So I suggested MakanSutra.. not KarmaSutra ok ppl.. then got bloody late patrons came so I had to leave him at my door.. then he so poor thing.. like alone dumno what to do.. I think he wanted to talk to me sommore la.. mayb asked me out makan after work.. ahhahhahhaha (REALLY not shy!)

So when I came back he went off already.. then fast fwd, he came back.. he smiled..

I asked “Dah makan?” -- translation -- [Eaten already?]

He said “Dah..” -- [Yup]

I asked “Kat mana?” -- [Where?]

He answered “MakanSutra.. Mahal eh sana.” -- [MakanSutra. Expensive huh there..]

And I said “Is it? Never try there before la!” -- [Is it? Never.. eh fuck its in English So no need to translate.. haha]

Then he smile sommore. Then I had to entertain my stupid patron who went to the toilet. Then he look at me and smile again and said “K la I naik dulu” [K la I go up first] And I was like “Oh ok.. Door 4 kan?” -- [Oh ok.. Door 4 right?] and he smiled…

Fast fwd…

End show I was at the post show autograph signing area.. then I spotted him *smiles*.. he was passing by my door and looking for SOMEONE.. sigh I hope it was me la.. mayb he wanted to say good night or something.. Or mayb he was looking for the bugger he was supposed to look after.. ahhahah hell if I knew..

Oh I did check, he’s not wearing a ring but Uncle B said he’s married by the way he carry himself..

And I just asked Jay abt him cos well Jay's a Policeman.. hahahhha. See if Jay can give me any inside tips. Sighhhhh


Ms Pink Butterfly.







Saturday, May 14, 2005

:: Shopping Spree ::

ARGHHHHHHHH!! I can fit into tees SIZE M!! OMG!! Really!! Now I dun have to wear tees that reaches my knees.. not literally though. Heh. Went shopping with Diana, my sec sch mate. It was fun! It’s been so long since I went to town. Saw Lutfi at Heeren AGAIN. I think that’s he’s port. Always see him there. Well we talked abt so much stff.. especially memories from secondary sch.. Kia Jwee, Nizam.. hahha it’s hilarious I tell you what happened in the early years.. AND i just got to know that Jwee actually liked SALIANI b4 he became my boyfriend!! WTF! If i knew he liked that not good woman, I wld have NEVER went out with him! Unbelievable!

Not gonna update much cos there’s so much things that I’ve gotten and I’m gonna check them out. Update ya later!


Ms ButterFly




Friday, May 13, 2005

:: Pffft =p ::

Argghhh I cant update my entries! This is pissing me off!

Just wanted to write that I got 2 skirts from mango.. yea minis. Fuck I’m into minis now. DAMN u Anna. One is light green in color with a funky belt and the other one in beige. Love them both since I cant use my linen mango skirts anymore… bummer.

That’s all. Love u Anna *Winks*

MuniLisa




Thursday, May 12, 2005

:: I can't breathe... ::

Hmm my forecast for today..

Someone you don't know all that well is trying to work up the courage to tell you a secret -- something that's very important to them. You'll see it coming too. Be merciful. Make it easy for them.

And In detail..

You're witty, sharp and funny, and you learned a long time ago to listen to your gut. At the moment, that built-in radar is telling you that there's something coming up -- but not to worry. What's on the agenda isn't going to be at all unpleasant. In fact, you'll probably end up being quite delighted with the surprise the universe has in store for you. In the meantime, grant an audience to a certain someone who's asked to speak with you in private.

*Sighh* Bought my new pair of shoes.. but its fucking noisy.. so tomorrow gonna have to bring them to the cobblers to put in some rubber soles. Hope that its not gonna cost me a bomb.

ARGHHH TEN TENORS!!! ARGHHHHHHHH SOOOOO CUTE!!! OMG I WAS DROOLING WHILE THEY WERE SINGING!!!! ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Check them out at The Ten Tenors

my FAVVVVVV one; Craig Hendry

my 2nd favourite; Drew

3rd fav; Shanon

hahhahahhahhha

omg omg I think I’m hyperventilating!


MuniLisa


Wednesday, May 11, 2005

:: Flashbacks ::

(Written on tues, 10 May) Guess what happened 5 mins after I logged off. HE messaged me.. asking how my day was. Arsehole. Well no point talking about him. Waste my energy only.

Been reading my old entries, God how much I missed Anna, all those nights.. (HELLO WE AINT LESBIANS OK…) it was so much fun to go clubbing almost every week. I was reading em and I chanced upon this particular entry.. it’s about a guy who flashed at her. Hahhaha yea. OK NOT THAT KINDDA flashed.. but well it was close. I mean he did flashed something to us.. well I think it was meant for my dear Anna but I was beside her so damn my eyes I got to see it too. And MAN its not something you’d wanna see.. so as I was reading it again, I was laughing.. again. It’s just so funny to think about it all over again. After that episode, I kept disturbing her for like the next few weeks and we tried out damn best to avoid that bugger.

I also noticed that I used to write better somehow. I mean my contents, it used to be witty, catchy (I even laughed when I read it again, which I don’t do these days), and funny at times. Man what’s happening to me? I had more jokes to tell, more stories to share, and there seem to be more people to bitch too. Where have they all gone to? I also don’t write as much as I used to. I think I’m more depressed now and that’s what is causing this temporary block but then again, I thought that when one’s sad, they tend to think more and when one thinks more, they tend to express more, so why am I not expressing?

Ok enuf about sad old me...

Met up with a few gal friends of mine from work for lunch. Went to eat at this place called Victor’s at marina and man I LOVE that place!! ANNA COME BACK soon and I’ll bring you there! So anyways, back to my friends, 2 of them are leaving this Friday for separate trips so we thought it would be great to meet and catch up on things before they leave and also to ehem pass them a list of “what to get for Muni”. Heh

It was great. 4 girls chilling and talking and laughing and talking about anything and everything. The waiter was cute .. BUT he’s a bit young. Ahhahhaha sorry la I’ve had enuf of younger guys. What I need now are mature men. Then again the last “mature” one.. was sadly fucking immature and disrespectful. Oh what the hell.. Enjoy the ride as they said it.. Things that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger so young guys are still eligible. But not too young please. Back to the story, - lets see.. waiter cute but too young.. – had dory fillet for lunch. Best lunch I had in weeks. Damn I think Rom is right I love to eat.. speaking of Rom, while eating he called me.. haha he said he emailed me the rest of the analysis.. gosh he’s such a sweet heart. But he told me that at that point when I was writing, I was -

1) you were not relaxed at the time of writing
2) you had writer's block
3) you were thinking of HER!
Her as in that someone that I had to work with and that’s another story for another day. Then again, she’s not worth my time.

So anyways, he asked me to write again when I’m relaxed so that’s just what I did. I actually wrote this WHOLE freaking entry on paper. So now I’m killing time by typing it in, with some editions of course. Man I’m sidetracking a lot, ok so after lunch we went around to shop. Ok la more like THEY shop and I walked around. And damnation, I can’t believe that I DIDN’T GET a single thing! Logic overcame desire. I mean I was so tempted to buy items but I didn’t. What’s happening to me!! Well this change is good for me. Me not spending.. hahha

There was this MANGO bag that I truly adore! Its white & it has like two pelicans sewn on it with some animal charms dangling. Price = $75.00. I was soo close to buying it but I was thinking, can my shoes fit in that bag? Yeah it could, but can the bag close after I dump all my other junks? Possibly NOT. The closure is just that round magnetic thingy, and I find it pretty unsafe if the bag is filled to its brim. Things can just fall off or worse still; people can just dip their filthy hands into my poor bag to be. So well in the end my HEAD wins again. Damn it’s the head vs the heart thingy again. I’ve been doing that a lot these days aren’t I? BUT I STILL LOVE THAT BAG!! GET IT FOR ME SOMEONE…

Intended to get a new pair of heels thought but I was wearing my adidas sneakers and it’s a hassle to take it off so maybe I’ll drop by tomorrow before work to check out on those heels.

I’m now beginning to hate my fringe. It’s such a pain maintaining it. I know I’m not supposed to believe in certain “beliefs” but somehow, ever since I cut that fringe of mine, things tend to be different for me.. somewhat “unlucky”. I mean it could be coincidence but a lot of things had gone wrong since I had THIS fringe. Mayb it’s my mind working overtime. I’m gonna give it a week or so and if things dun get better, I’m damn well gonna pin those blasted hair up even if I look stupid.

Noticed that I tear a lot when I woke up from my sleep or naps and it doesn’t matter where the place it. And sometimes it’s those “crying tears”. I have no idea what the crap happened in my dreams that made me tear. I mean I can remember what happened right about when I work up but as the day pass by I will forget about it. Damn it but my memory ain’t getting better. I need something efficient to record my thoughts. Mayb that’s y I dun write as well as I used to. Cos I used to write them there and then, when the words flow thru. Now I just wait till the end of the day when I switch on my pc and like after doing everything, feeling bored THEN I update my entry! So back to my dream and tearing, sometimes, I can feel that I’m tearing while I’m sleeping. But I just can’t wake up. And the dreams kept going and damnation I can’t remember them. I do know that somehow some of it involves my parents. Something like they disappoint me or they didn’t trust me.

Damn… now my mind is thinking of something.. I mean what if I disappoint them and they don’t trust me anymore? Then again, that phrase is out of my life.. I mean the phrase where its very much possible I follow my damn heart and screw things up for myself.. Oh well, I’ll just have to go with the flow and see what happens next in my life journey. I mean some of my dreams did come true. But my dreams about this certain bald guy whom I had an instant connection with, has yet to come true.. or mayb it wlden. Haha we’ll see. I think I had an entry about him.. hmm mayb I shld read back my super old entries and check it out.

Another theory abt my eye condition is that mayb it cld be my contacts. Mayb I didn’t clean it too well or mayb its time to change. I’m using the permanent ones and I totally forgot when I actually bought them. Bummer. I think I can only use it like for a year and a half or something that I have to get a new pair. Mayb I had used it for 2 years… damn if I can remember. And my right eye has been mass producing eye mucus. And sometimes it just covers my eyes and all I see is a blur. It’s fucking irritating and I have to keep rubbing my eyes to get rid of it. Usually it happens the day after I use my contacts, when I’m wearing my glasses.

Damn this entry is worth 3 freaking pages in word document. Hahhhaha bullocks! I have to stop writing, I mean you people aint gonna sleep if I keep writing these and you keep reading. Then again I dun think that my life story is THAT interesting that you people would actually bother to take time of from your daily busy schedule, grab a bucket of popcorn and read it.. right?

Oh ya saw Zul (Subvert with another girl) and Mithun. Mithun had this shocked look when he saw me. He was like.. “oh god you look different!” Ahhaha damn fringe When I first saw Jenny and Wei, they also gave me a look. I think they can’t believe that I cut off my fringe.

Heck actually EVRYONE at work gave me a look when I came in the first day I had it cut. Now I think I look weird. That’s why people are asking, talking about it and LOOKING at me weirdly. ARGGHH what have I done?!

Dollie


Monday, May 09, 2005

:: Monday Morning!! ::

Uhhh it just turned midnight now and i just finished editing and changed my entry position.. The geocities AD SUCKS! cos it was blocking my entry so now you people don't have to keep clicking that stupid double arrows to read and I'm sure you don't mind the picture getting blocked. Okk my pesty brother needs the pc so I'm gonna retire for now and I'm still FEELIN FINEE! Click the CAT! Click the CAT!! Cherios!

MuniLisa


Sunday, May 08, 2005

:: Height or heels? ::

What’s the point of wearing heels when you do not know how to walk in them? I cannot understand why they have to wobble the heel of the shoes. People wearing heels should stand and walk straight and you know like walk on the balls of your toes. They don’t put all the pressure on the heels. But some people DO that! I just don’t get it. If you can’t walk in heels properly then don’t wear them. It’s as simple as that.

Oh yea, didn’t mention that I cut my fringe again.. cos.. I had a slanted fringe.. and now its in a mess so, well I cut it straight to make it easier when it grows.. And now people are starting to call me doll..



At work now, for some FREE Chinese Mother’s Day concert. Why must it be Chinese and not mixed? Racist ain’t it? Don’t tell me there’s no Malay, Indian, or Caucasian MOTHERS around. There WERE Caucasian and Indian people (I know cos I was at the fucking end of the super long and winding queue) queuing up for the show and I’m wondering how the hell are they gonna fucking understand the show. The thing is, most of them DIDN’T know it’s a Chinese language concert. They just heard FREE Concert and they just queued up. .

My colleague saw me writing all these and she told me to get a freaking palm top. Its much easier then writing on papers (and I have to search for a paper to write on cos I always forget to bring some.) Hmm it’s a good idea. A good way to keep me occupied. Maybe after working my arse off for a month, I might get one.

Thought of going to Bugis after the show. I’m bored and window shopping sounds nice. Asked Gek San to go.. she said ok but in the end she had something on.. so yea its fine. AND you know what happened. WHO I saw? U know on the way to Bugis, while I was still at Suntec, my heart was half hearted. Have said just go home cos I was carrying a buncha flowers and I have shoes in my bag but the other half said GO TO BUGIS. So well I did GO and.. well GUESS WHO I SAW? On my mind I was planning a lunch outing that I had to plan cos well 2 of my friends are going away on a trip, so had to plan on where to meet, what to eat, what to do and WHAT to ask them to get for me while they are there la.. So I was walking towards the flea market area, pissed off by this stupid WOMAN in front of me who CAN’T seem to know where the fuck to go and THEN I SAW HIM!

Yea him.. hmmm I’m sure you can pretty much guess who the hell I saw. Its funny and weird. Maybe it’s fate that I saw him.. there.. with a girl. Ok I guess you know who it is. Tris la! Hahhaha it was like.. eh.. my heart skipped a bit and I looked around him and I saw this girl beside him plus other people la.. but well I just KNOW that he’s with that girl even though she was on the phone. Somehow I didn’t feel anything.. Really.. after walking around the market, I smsed him and said I saw him at Bugis. So he was like “Oh.. where you at? I’m on a date la”.. ahhahhaha fucking balls! At that time I was on the phone with jenny so I took a while to respond to him la.. So I didn’t mention that ya I saw him with a girl and he smsed back ASSUMING that I’m there on a date too? Shithead right.. I mean what the hell is he thinking? That I go out on dates with different men on different weekends? Seesh! I’m not pissed that he was with a girl. Really, I was like you know relieved that I saw him with another girl, so I KNOW that what he said to me were lies. Totally lies, all of them. He didn’t mean a single one of it. Well even if he did, well screw him. Maybe I take them all as a compliment but that’s just all there is to it. I was so glad that I was on the phone with Jenny cos well she did help me take my mind of things and I felt a lot better yacking away with her..

Hmm give me a few more days for this to sink in and see if I have any after effects, Usually for me to have a reaction, it takes a while.. hahah slow right!

Oh crap, I’ve got work to do.. so I’ll update more (if’s there any) later..

And really, I’m seriously fine. If I feel like shit I will say so.

Oh and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all mothers!


Munilisa




Saturday, May 07, 2005

:: It's not what it seems.. ::

Why do I like my reflection that I see but not of my picture taken in a photograph? It’s still me right? But why do I look different? Is it possible for someone to look different? I have tried looking into a mirror, liking what I see, then I brought my hand up, with a camera in it and snaps but when I look at it, I don’t like what I see. Weird isn’t it. Have you tried it? No? Go ahead and try it. See if you’re what you think you look like.

Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Or is it my mind? My eyes telling my brain that what I see is good. But then again, when I look at pictures of myself, I’m still using the same pair of eyes, but why don’t I like it?

Moving on from unimportant topic to.. another unimportant topic.

You know, somehow, I don’t regret being honest to Tris. I thought that after what I told him, I might be kicking myself in my rear end or you be frantic and kept thinking about what the heck just happened. But I didn’t. I actually felt pretty good about myself. Never felt better in the past few months. Thinking back, I’m actually quite; no not quite but VERY disappointed with him; about what he asked from me. Can’t believe that he is such a scumbag and a shameless one too. I also noticed that the guys that I dated, see, got into a relationship with, or those “on the way” kinds, they all can’t take NO for an answer. They really have either poor hearing or they think that NO is another alternative of a possible yes. I mean yes a NO could be very well be a possible yes but a REPEATED no.. I don’t think so… They just don’t get it do they? They just keep trying UNTIL I say yes. You know this tactic could be very good, when say, they want to get me a HUGE diamond ring, and me being nice that I am said NO REPEATEDLY, but they still get it for me.. now THAT’S wonderful. Flowers would work too. I don’t normally ask for my partner to get me anything cos, well one, I do not want to be indebt to them and frankly, I can afford it.. Damn.. thinking of it now. I REALLY REALLY want a BVLGARI watch.. *hinting here* Now that’s something I could not afford. Well actually I can.. but if I get it, I might have $0.00 in my bank account.

My mood swings are still there and I noticed that when I eat a lot, I tend to get moody and cranky and you know what happens when THAT happens.

My colleague read my handwriting style. Heh this is pretty interesting.. ok so this is what he said just by looking and maybe reading what I wrote. What I wrote was pretty random, just anything that was going thru my head at that point of time and I was pretty pissed.. so most of them are anger reflected on that lil piece of paper. But this is what he has got to say about my character.

I like to dress in dark colors.
I like fatty, oily and spice food. YUM YUM
I do not like blend food.
My energy level is good.
I can cope with most work that has been assigned to me.
At this point of time, I’m spending too much $$ so now, I’m back to budgeting. (must be the Pringles that I got them..)
I’m a mental type of person. (not MENTALLY ill but I like to think a lot.)
I work by ideas and concept.
I like a man with ideas. – The IDEA MAN (hint hint)
I chicken out on commitments.
I’m independent and also independent from parental influences.
I’m poetic.
I love to read.
I like to be alone.
I’m sensitive to criticism.
I lot to eat.
I like to talk.. A LOT and I have to be MORE TACTFUL.
Am loyal to my friends.
I usually make decisions on my own.
I’m a visual type of person.
I get bored easily and I like a change in routine.
Have difficulty in initiating.
Have a strong intuition.
I like to travel.
Moody (You know, I would be rich if people kept telling me this).
I’m sensitive to the environment.
Lack of focus.
Irritable under pressure.
Modest personality.
Low profile.
Dream Job - Something artistic. (Bulls eye)
I’m too adaptable so I tend to be in a mess because I will tend to compromise my ideas.
Self deception.
Low Goals (do NOT want to talk about that!) and also adding this in since it’s in the same category. - - I don’t plan for my fucking future.
As he was going on and on.. and me jotting it all down, and when I look up,I noticed the room was fucking filled with people. Mostly fucking MALES. They were just walking by and they heard talking and they just fucking listened to the conversation.. so hahah he stopped and said that he will email me the rest and also tell me more about stuff that are personal (yea some sexual stuff). He admitted that he liked reading and analyzing because he want to know people’s sex drive.. and at that point he was already holding on to the paper and I just wished I could dig a hole and burry my head in it.

So my dear friends, what to do think of that.. He said he has MORE to say but well people were streaming in and taking a grab at my piece of writing so, there might be more information that I’d LOVE to know about my character. How close has he been so far?


Munilisa




Tuesday, May 03, 2005

:: Music makes me smile (",) ::

Earr WaxX
Natasha Bedingfield – I bruise Easily


Went to catch Peabo Bryson on Sun,1st May and Lea Salonga last Sunday on the 24th April at Esplanade. (",) they were great! Peobo was such a people person. He actually walked around and sang to the audiences and in the end he gave roses to a few of the female audiences who sat near the stage.

Lea, well her voice is so smooth.. and she makes me smile when she sang.. and most of her songs are about Love.. (",) yea I guess females tend to sing about that. She just got married anyway.. so yea.. She's in love..

I’m loosing it. I just do not know what to write anymore. My mind’s a blank. I don’t know what I think of. I mean there’s so many things that have been happening around me but I just do not know how to make the words flow..

Went to Mustaffa Centre yesterday and got some boring stuff. Thought of getting a new watch but don’t which one to get. My taste seem to get more and more expensive.. it’s scary. Now I’m into Bvlgari. I LOVE the watches and jewellery! But I soo know that I wont be able to afford it. Mayb I should find a rich old man, get to know him and flirt a bit, make him my boyfriend.. then ask him for a watch! Ahhhha cool plan ryte!

Am watching Bananas in Pajamas on cable. You know I have a swollen eyelid. Yes.. its pathetic. Timbil.. or whatever the shit they called it. My eyelid hurts. Have to use my specs to “cover” it whenever I go out. Thank God I won’t be working till this Friday. Hopefully it subsides by then… *prays hard*

Something about familiar faces, well there are tons of Cisco men in Esplanade and one of them looked darn familiar. So I talked to him and asked if he used to live at my old neighborhood. He said no BUT he stayed around my secondary school area. Maybe that’s where I’ve seen him around. Shoot i forgot his name. I'm getting worse at this remembering names thingy and i have WHITE hair!


Holy mother of God.. he fucking called me!

I can’t believe it.. he fucking called me! After like what.. a month of silence? He called me! I’m just shocked.. and surprised. Still am. He was just like.. “hello can I speak to Muniera”.. and I said “yes?”.. and he was like.. “HI!”.. fuck. He made it sound like nothing happened! Asked me how I am and I politely said that I’m fine. He said I sounded pissed. Should I be? He said that he missed me and that he wants me to spend a night with him.. and he fucking remembered that he said he loved me. Fucking balls. Ok most of the conversation went like a blur.. cos I was really really surprised.. and shocked! Anyways its more because of what my horoscope said today..

A secret admirer is preparing to reveal their feelings -- which may not be much of a surprise to you. You probably even know who they are and when they'll make the announcement. But do you have any idea what to say?

Ok la fuck he’s not a secret admirer or anything close but it’s something like that ain’t it.. ok actually it’s all wrong. I didn’t know he’ll call. I mean I was soo over him. Not thinking of him anymore. Ok maybe once a while when I pass by the places we’ve been to. I was actually getting on just fine.. talking to other guys.. flirting *winks*.. and THIS happened. But then again.. we’re nothing.. I still can flirt. He still doest want to get serious. He just wants to spend a night.. and still no sex from me.. *prays hard i stay with that decision* Oh ya you know wat he said.. “I know you think I’ll leave you but I’m not.” BULL! He said that.. unbelievable.

I need to go to the dentist now.. what a day!


Munilisa






catch me :: if :: i fall