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The Missing Angel By Lovely-chan Chapter 3: Loneliness I was always alone since I first come to this town. I had no idea from where I came, but I was afraid to find out. So even when I always believed I lost my memories, I never went into therapy. Affection was something my life was lacking of, I never had that hug, or kiss at nights. I never had my parent advice or understanding, and I really needed it so many times. All I had, all I ever had was Yutaka’s affection. He was the only person in this world that ever held me, and heard me cry. So, to me, he was more than a friend, he was my only escape of pain- so I guess that was the main reason for me to love him, and to be so confused of my true feelings.
I felt so miserable sometimes, but I tried to be happy, then again I had no reason to be happy. I feel so lonely, and so in need to love, but…nobody loved me. I had some friends, and they care for me, and I appreciate that, but I wanted love. I wanted someone able to love me, and gave peace to my heart. That was my only dream…real love, and maybe some day a family.
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It was just another lonely night for me. I cleaned my painting tools and took a bath, and since I was tired already, I went to bed and forgot my night run. I didn’t even have dinner; I didn’t felt like cooking or eating. I was depressed- again. Like many other endless night, I was depressed. I hated the silence in my house. Always that horrible silence that gives me chills. No one was home, only me…but no one would ever be home. No one. My father…who knows where he spent the nights? And my mother…I had no idea where she was. Relatives? None that I remember… So, loneliness was my only companion. I could have lived in a little tiny house, but no, I had this huge mansion just for me, and the worst part was I had to clean it!
Kai Ling was thinking while taking a bath. “Jotaru…” She submerged herself in the water. ‘He is so handsome….’ (Breaths) “Hum… I wished a miracle happen…” Her eyes turned sad. “I know he would never like me…I’m not like him, beautiful.”
“Kai, get out of the bathroom, I’m taking a bath! I have a date, so move out!” Her sister ordered her from outside.
“I’m not done yet, Kazumi!”
“I said, get out!” Kazumi opened the door and pulled Kai out of the tub by grabbing her hair, and then threw her outside the bathroom. “That should teach you to respect me, you ugly creep.” She slammed the door.
“That hurts, you jerk!” She tries covering herself, but only could cry.
Her mother saw her in the floor and covered her with a towel. “Are you ok dear? What happened?”
“No, I’m not ok. Kazumi pulled me out of the tub…I was taking a bath and…” She cries.
“Stop it, you cry baby! If you do as she says, this wouldn’t happen.” Her father always takes Kazumi’s side.
“But Shinkaido, Kazumi hurt Kai!” Her mother defended her.
“I can see very well that she is crying like a baby. Now go put some clothes on!” Her father keeps on yelling at her without really caring what happen.
“You are too hard on her!” But even when her mother always tried to defend her, it was worthless.
“You shut up, this isn’t your problem. You can’t tell me how to raise my daughter.”
Kai ran to her room filled with pain and cried. “Always so cold to me, so indifferent to my suffering, to my needs. All he cares is for Kazumi, not even mom.” She stood up and stepped in front of a mirror. “Why…is it because I’m not pretty like her?” Kai looked at her reflection and she removed the long locks of hair covering her face to look at her reflection more clearly. Her skin was so pale and bright, she was very beautiful, but was not aware of it. She always hid her face underneath her light brown hair and her glasses. “If I could only be beautiful like Kazumi…maybe father would love me then.” Tears slid down her cheeks and she cleaned them abruptly. “That will never happen- I’ll always be the ugly child. Why did I even born, if I could only disappear! I want to disappear!! ” As she yelled in frustration a lightning stroke outside and the power went out. “Huh? Funny, it felt like I did that. Yeah right. Cool, now Kazumi can’t see her face in the mirror, I hope she gets stood up.” Kai got dressed and sat on the bed while brushing her hair softly when Kazumi entered to her room in command.
“You, come to my room, now!”
“There is no way I am holding a lamp for you! Get out of my room!”
“Move, or I call dad.”
“Go ahead, do as you say.”
“Dad! Dad! Kai is…Kai? Where are you? You brat! You won’t get away!” Kai sneaked out of the house so her father won’t make her do what Kazumi wanted and ran to her best friends house- as always.
“Kouin, Kouin wake up. Kou, open your eyes.” Kai Ling shook him a little, but he was out. “I guess he is very asleep. Oh, well…” She slowly crawled into his bed and fall asleep beside him. ‘I hope he don’t mind. Nah, he won’t…At least Kazumi won’t find me now.’
I woke up in the middle of the night finding a little curling body beside me. “Huh?” I looked twice and blink a few times thinking I was still dreaming. ‘What the hell is she doing here?’ I though I had to be dreaming, but just to make sure I pinch myself. “Ouch!” So I wasn’t dreaming, but wondered why she was there. So I turned around trying to forget the fact that Kai was sleeping right beside me, and shut my eyes, but I moved too much and I woke her up.
“Are you ok Kou? Am I bothering you? I’m sorry, you are uncomfortable?” Kai though she was bothering him with her presence.
“Yes. I mean, not that I am uncomfortable, is that…”
“I’ll go, don’t worry.”
“No! Kai…there is something I want to tell you.” I was trembling a little bit and needing to confess my feelings, but the nerves were controlling me as always. My insecurity was so huge that I was never able to say how I feel for her, or even for him. ‘Should I finally tell her? I must.’
“What is it?”
“I…I…I…” ‘I’m so nervous.’
“Come on, tell me- it can’t be that hard.” She noticed he was nervous, but didn’t even imagine the real reason.
“Oh yes, it is. Well, the thing is…I, I sleep walk.” -_- ‘Yeah right!’
“You sleep walk?” She asked holding her laughter.
“Yes, it’s a little embarrassing.” ‘What a liar! Couldn’t you think of something better? Dummy! Dummy! Dummy!’
“Ha ha ha ha ha! You are kidding right?” She couldn’t hold any longer.
“You see, you are laughing!”
“Not of what you think. I am laughing ‘cause you are embarrassed of it.”
“Well, it’s a silly thing after all. Ha ha ha.” ‘I can’t tell you…you like that guy, Jotaru.’
“Kou, let’s sleep, but please don’t go walking down the streets.” She goofed at him.
>_< “I won’t, and don’t fool with me.”
---
But something terrible happen, I forgot HE, my precious, was coming the next morning. It bothered me so much that he saw me in bed with her. But why it bothered me?
Yutaka walk inside the room when he immediately spotted Kai beside his angel’s body. He felt his blood stopped flowing with the shock, and a sudden shot that went right through his heart. ‘He slept with her…they’re together now?’ He was hurting, but he knew Kouin loved Kai. So he tried to act cool about it, but even when he tried, jealousy was taking over him. So he woke him up with a hard knock on the head just to take a little bit of his anger off the system. “Kouin, you bad boy! You slept with her!” In fact, he was trying to hold on his tears and need to run away. ‘Did you? I hope not…’ But in the other hand, he wanted Kouin’s happiness, and he knew being with her was something Kouin wanted. So if he had to be far from him, he would, just to see him smile.
I woke up and touched my head rubbing it softly to ease the pain that suddenly woke me, and felt horrible when I saw his emeralds looking at me in bed with HER with a question written all over his face. “Shh, Yutaka. I didn’t slept with her, like you supposed. We really just sleep.” ‘Why he had to come here today? Why he had to see me with her???’
“And why you have an overnighter face?” ?_?
“I couldn’t close my eyes. I was too nervous.” ‘Are you jealous, Yuyu?’
“You fool, it was your big chance and you blew it!” ‘Not that I really mind.’
I guessed he wasn’t jealous…and that he really wants me to sleep with her. ;_; “Yutaka, speak softly. I don’t want to woke her up.” I said worried- I really didn’t want her to listen to us.
Kai opened her eyes and saw them whispering. “Good morning Yutaka, Kouin. I didn’t know you come here so early.” >_> (She was referring to Yutaka.) ‘Always after Kouin’s butt! Grrr.’
“Many mornings I come by Kai, who do think wake this guy? He doesn’t believe in an alarm.” ‘But I love to woke him up. *_*’
“Me neither, he is my alarm, right Kou?” ^_~
“Yes. I’ll make some breakfast for all, ok.” I felt so confused, I had them both beside me, and my heart was going crazy without knowing. I wanted to be sure, but…my feelings were never clear, so I stood up from bed to make some breakfast and be far from both of them- at least for a little while. My heart was on a rollercoaster going up and down trying so hard to make a FINAL choice and well, decide if I loved her or HIM. But I couldn’t love him, I couldn’t…it was a sin. A sin. So in a way, I was trying to bury that feeling.
Yutaka watched him discretely as he stood and left to the kitchen. “Sure. Hey Kai, aren’t you going to school today?” Yutaka asked- but was still looking at the door almost drooling with only the image on his mind of the pretty body of the man that just walk out.
‘You can stop looking at his ass now! He’s gone, hello??’ “Yes Yutaka, why is that?”
“Where’s your uniform?” He wanted her to leave, so he could be alone with Kou.
“Oh!” O___O “I have to go home and take it, and my books too. I don’t want to go there…will you do it Yutaka?” ‘Go ahead and leave!’
“Me? Don’t ask me, ask your loyal fool over there.” ‘No way! I want to stay!!!’
“Why do you call him like that?” Kai still didn’t get Kouin’s feelings for her.
“Well you know how Kouin feels about you, don’t you?” ‘This will be painful, but maybe he just needs a little push to be happy with her.’ She looked at him a little out of it, and he decides to say it. “Well, Kouin…he is… He is in l…”
I was coming to the room to ask them what they wanted, when I heard what Yuyu was about to tell Kai. Why would he do that? I know he wants me to be happy, but…it hurt me that HE was actually throwing me toward her. I guess I wanted to tell her myself, but…I also was so confused about him. ”Yutaka! What are you telling Kai?” Maybe deep down inside I wasn’t really prepared to tell her, maybe I just wanted to lie to myself…maybe I just… Maybe I loved someone else. ‘Yuyu…Why you…?’ ;_;
“No, nothing. He he.” ^__^ “I’m asking her to go see me play this Saturday, you are going aren’t you Kou?” Just to change the subject before Kouin gets angry.
“I wouldn’t miss my best bud play for anything.” ^__^ ‘Liar! You were going to tell her!!!’
“Hey, Kou…could you make three eggs for me? I’m very hungry.” Begs with the eyes and a cute pout without knowing he didn’t have to beg at all. Just with a look into those gorgeous eyes of his, Kouin was going ga ga.
He looked so beautiful, for me he was so very beautiful it killed me. Every time I looked into his eyes I got lost and totter. “Ooo-ok, ok, and you Kai?”
“Just one.”
“No wonder you are so thin, girl. You have to eat to grow stronger. Are you healthy? You look anemic to me.” Yutaka stared at Kai with a funny face.
“You…”
“Yutaka!!! That’s not true Kai- you look perfect. Besides he is very thin too! I think he is even thinner than you, aren’t ya Yutaka?”
“Well, not because I don’t get hungry! If I had money, like you guys, I would stuff myself.” Giggles.
“I guess you have a point, but you can always come here and stuff yourself.” ^_^ Kai looked at me amused. “He, he, anyway Kai, Would you listen to a guy that have a pierced tongue?” Both of them look at me confused about what I said, was I insulting them? They looked so cute, I was starting to melt like butter in a heated pan, so I left back to the kitchen before I end up kissing the both of them, or worse.
“It’s not the only thing I got pierced, want to see Kai?” He started lifting his shirt.
“No!” She covered her eyes hysterical. “I don’t want to see, leave that to your wife!”
“My wife? I won’t wait that long to show off my pierce nipple! You’ll see it on Saturday anyway.” ^_~ ‘Besides, who wants a wife? I want a Kouin hubby baby! *_*’ (Drools)
“Pierced nipple?? Yuck, you are weird Yutaka.”
“Soon, I’ll get a tattoo.” ^_^
A few minutes later I went back with our breakfast ready. I was happy after all, my two loves where right beside me. “Breakfast ready, eat up people!” We waste so much time chatting, and arguing we almost forgot about school- not that I mind. :P
---
“Where is she? She is late again…she’ll hear me out this time.” Yumi always wait for Kai at school, but hates the fact that Kai always looks for Kouin before she looks for her. “There she comes, and with HIM! I can’t take this anymore, why they are always together?” ‘Why Kouin? Why is always Kai?’
“Hello Yumi, are you upset? Your face looks tense. You got such a bad temper your face is starting to look exactly as your usual frowned face. You will get old soon and will look like a prune!” Yutaka goofed at Yumi- he didn’t like her because she always picked on Kouin, so he decided it was HIS time to make fun of her without knowing how cruel she can be if she really wants to.
“Who asked you anything? You, you weird looking creature! Do you know how disgusting you are? Those clothes of yours…do you even bath?” Yui yelled at him angry.
“Yumi!!” I yelled back- how dare she calls my sweetie disgusting???!!! “I won’t let you bother Yutaka! He is NOT disgusting!!”
‘Kouin…he is defending me! *_*’ Yutaka was almost drooling with the sight of his love frowning and getting upset just because of him. ‘He loves me!’
“Don’t talk like that to Yutaka- he is my friend and Kouin’s friend too. Besides, Kouin is right, he is not disgusting- he is different.”
“Looks like he got bodyguards! But he looks horrible to my eyes. Yuck!” :P Yumi was even angrier because both of them defended him.
“Thanks Kai, but I could care less for what your snobby friend says.” ‘All I care is that Kouin defended me. *_*’
“I got class and you don’t, that’s all. Besides, you started it. I don’t know how you too get along with this peasant boy.
“What she said?” Yutaka asked a little hurt. ‘Peasant? I look that bad?’ ;_;
“Just, forget about her, man. Let’s go where there are no poisonous flowers.” I was obviously referring to Yumi- she was such a pain in the ass! I decide to take my sweetie away where no one could hurt him, so I put my arm around his neck and drag him with me. “Come on.” I hated when she was hard on me, but on Yuyu…? No, I couldn’t resist that- no one should be harsh to him, at least not before me.
‘Kouin!!’ Yutaka’s eyes glittered with emotion. He was deeply in love with Kouin, and every time he was close, he felt like he was floating in the air or inside of one of his many lovely dreams with him.
“Later Kai.” I left with my Yuyu where there was no one that could bother him and we could be alone for a while to enjoy ourselves.
“She called me a peasant. Do I look that bad?”
“No, Yuyu. Just ignore her.”
“I just don’t have any money. I can’t buy any clothes…”
His face was so sad it killed me. “You don’t need fancy clothes to look good. You already do.” I smiled at him, and messed his hair trying to let him know that all that really matter was the heart. “You are beautiful inside, and that’s all that matters. If you can’t buy new clothes, then don’t.”
“You are so nice Kou.”
“Hey, you are my best friend. BUT if you want new clothes, just let me know.” ^_~
“You know I would NEVER ask you for that.”
“Ok…” But I wish I could dress him like a prince so he wouldn’t feel insulted. I didn’t want anyone to insult my friend. I then guessed maybe that was why he didn’t like going out with any of my friends, except with Naoki. He probably felt wrongly dressed, or that he couldn’t afford it, and I guess he couldn’t, and I knew he wouldn’t let me pay.
“Hey, Yutaka!” Naoki smiled as he shakes hands with him.
“Hey, what are you doing on Saturday night? I am playing with my new band…well if they approve. Wanna come? It’s my audition.”
“I wouldn’t miss it, maybe I can invite Yumi.” *__*
“Better not, she hates me and will never get inside that place. You still like that bitch?” Yutaka wasn’t afraid to speak what’s on his mind- except his feelings for Kouin.
“Hey, watch your mouth! She is a little tense lately, that’s all.”
“Oh sure, you keep defending that jerk. I don’t know how Kai stands her, and you… You are NUTS!!!”
“Maybe, but I can’t help it. I will ask her anyway.” ^_^
“Naoki, my advices…don’t. I don’t want her to yelled at you or make you feel bad like she does with me all the time.” I was sure she could be pretty ruff on him and that if she was, it would hurt him badly.
“I’m not a child, I can take it.”
“Your choice, I’m leaving. You two study hard.” ^_~
Yutaka wink to me and gave me a pat on the back, then left. I hated when he was gone, it made me feel all of a sudden empty. But the feeling of his hands on me made me feel wonderful.
Yutaka was a horrible student (The worst). Not that I could talk about it, but…he was worst than me, and that’s a LOT. Even when he was one year older than us, he was also a senior because he failed school one year. But I know he also had to work very hard to help his mother out, and of course, there was his music. That really took a lot of his time too.
---
In the hallway…
“Hey Haru, I need a favor.” The tall longhaired guy said in a suspicious way to his “friend”.
“Sure Jotaru, what’s up?” Haru, one of Kai and Kouin’s schoolmates said to whom he considered his new best friend.
“Do you know Takahashi Kouin?”
“Who doesn’t, he is one of the coolest guys in school. Everyone likes him, even I do.” Haru wasn’t very popular with people.
“Well, I need to know more about him. Does he have a girl?”
“Not that I know, but he is always with his best friend Kai. She is two years younger than him and he hangs with her all the time. Sometimes I wonder why, but that’s what’s cool about him, he likes everyone and doesn’t judge. He even has this weird friend form the public down the block. Now, that guy is very weird.”
“He got bad taste then… Does he like this Kai girl?”
“I could say that, those are the rumors between his friends.”
“I see…so he’s in love with her… And who is this girl?”
“She is in our math class.”
“She is? Then she is in an advanced group.” Jotaru was one year older than Kai Ling, but also was in an advanced group.
“Yes, she is very intelligent and is the number one in the group.”
“Let’s go to math class then. I want to know this Kai. Is she pretty?”
“Well…I don’t like her, I like Ari (*_*), but she is not ugly…the thing is she always covers her face with the hair and use glasses. That’s what I don’t like, if she only brush her hair to the sides…another story. She looks nerd.”
---
“He is not here.” Kai looked at Jotaru’s seat.
“Maybe he is sick, remember what your Kou did to him.”
“Don’t start with that. There he is! So adorable.” Kai stared at him as always.
“With that nose, no way!” Yumi laugh.
“Yumi!” >_<
“Jotaru, that’s the girl. The one staring at you.” Haru whispers to Jotaru’s ears.
“Which one of all?” There were many staring at him- as usual.
“The one with glasses beside the blond girl with short hair.”
“That’s Kai?”
“Yes.”
“I though you say she wasn’t ugly.”
“She is not, and she is very sweet.”
“You are blind, I like her friend better.” ‘That Kouin really have bad taste!’
“That bitch! Yuck, she is such a jerk.”
“Really? Let’s find out.” Jotaru and Haru went there. “Hello my ladies.” (Winks) “My name is Hayashi Jotaru, and you are?” Looking at Kai with a sexy smile.
“I…I-I am Kai, Fukazawa Kai Ling.”
“My pleasure Kai Ling, and you are?” Looking at Yumi with another sexy smile.
“Shimizu Yumi.” She said coldly and sharply.
‘I see what Haru meant, how cold and indifferent. Oh well.’ “This is my friend Yamamoto Haru, do you girls mind if we take our class beside you?”
Kai blushed. “Not at all.”
Yumi whispered in Kai’s ears. “You look like a thermometer, I am sure he notice you like him.”
Kai lowered her head trying to hide her crimson cheeks with embarrassment.
“Excuse me, do you mind that I’m here? ‘Cause if you do, I’ll go.” Jotaru asked- he noticed Kai was blushing.
“No! It is fine.” Kai was still blushed.
“Do you have a boyfriend, pretty girl?” Jotaru was making a fast move.
“Who, me?” Kai didn’t expect that question.
“Am I looking at someone else?” He looks at her as he flick his hair to the side flirting BIG time.
“No, I don’t… ‘He called me pretty?!’ …have a boyfriend.”
“Good to know.” He smiled at her with his bad boy smile, the one that makes all girls drool, and wink again. Kai was drooling like a real idiot and staring endlessly to his eyes, and apparently drown in them.
---
‘Kai…Yuyu… Damn!’ I couldn’t stop thinking about them- it was just the same every day. I was always distracted in class thinking and daydreaming. But thanks to those dreams I had visions for my paintings, and usually started making sketches in my notebooks so I wouldn’t forgot, but then again, my bad luck always followed me everywhere.
“Kouin, hello? Mrs. Yamada is calling you again, and you are not answering.” Naoki, as usual, warned his friend in the middle of his dreams.
“I am here Mrs. Yamada.”
“Oh, so it is our dreamer Kouin Takahashi who finally decided to answer, but you know what Takahashi, I wasn’t calling you for assistance since we started class a half hour ago. I guess you weren’t here, as always- you were in dreamland. Can you tell us where your head was? I guess you don’t know that either. Well then, I was going to ask you to do this problem on the board.”
“Me, on the board? I can’t!” I was nervous; I knew I was terrible at it and I also knew she wanted to humiliate me.
“Why not, tomorrow is the test, so I guess you are ready for this, aren’t you Takahashi?” The teacher knew he was really bad and hated the fact that he was never alert in class, so she usually picks on him.
“Well…sure. “ ‘I am dead.’ I tried to do the problem, but I couldn’t do even half of it. “I am sorry Mrs. Yamada, but I am no good at algebra.” With my face flushing with embarrassment, I waited for her insult.
“You have it all wrong! You never pay attention in class, I would have to call a meeting with your parents.”
“I’m sorry Ms. Yamada, but my parents are on vacation.” ‘An endless vacation.’
“Very well, you can start saying goodbye to the football team. Who wants to try it? Someone smart and able to do what our donkey couldn’t.” She couldn’t miss the chance to say bad things to him.
I was angry, she had no right to call me a donkey, and to think I could be out of the team...it just couldn’t be. I work so hard to get there and couldn’t loose the chance, so I decided to study hard today. Yeah, it was late to learn everything in one day, but…I had to try.
“Hey Kou, if you want I can help you out.” Naoki offered himself to help even when he wasn’t very good either, but at least better than Kouin.
“Thanks Naoki, I’ll appreciate that, but I asked Kai to help me. Maybe we can all study together.” I knew a little help would be good to Naoki as well - it wasn’t like he was the GOD of Algebra.
“Good, I’ll go with you after practice.”
---
After football practice…
“We take a bath and then catch something to eat. I am starving.” I said to Naoki while we undress to hit the showers, and as always sins come to my mind. I wished I could be taking a bath right now…but with Yutaka. Was I sick? Was I a perverted young man or was this normal? I couldn’t ask Naoki or Yutaka if they ever had this kind of feeling- how could I? They would probably laugh or call me names…well, gay to be exact. Was I gay? Was I bisexual? What was I? Why it always comes down to the same horrible question…who am I? What am I? I had a real problem with identification, a real problem. I think it was the biggest problem I had- I didn’t knew who I was or where I came from. I felt I didn’t even belong to this world. I was so different…not physically, but mentally…yeah probably I just felt that way, but what about human cruelty? I couldn’t do the things my friends did, how could they eat an animal! That was so cruel! I was always a vegetarian, and tried to convert my friends with no luck. But that was not the only thing I couldn’t understand about humans…and why do I always called them humans, wasn’t I one of them?
“Sure Kou, me too.” They were both getting undressed when Kazumi just got inside the boys locker room.
“Oh, hello Kouin. Looking fab, as always.” Kazumi looked at him from head to toes since he was wearing only his underwear. “What a pity that even if we are neighbors, you never visit me or hang out with me at all. I still don’t know why you prefer to hang out with my dorky sister.” Kazumi caressed his chest.
It bothered me; her presence bothered me badly, and her touch was horrible! So I grabbed her hand and push it away. “Don’t talk about Kai like that! She is better than you are, that’s why.”
“Ha, ha, ha. Have you ever consider being a comedian Kouin? Don’t make me laugh, how can that skinny ugly girl be better than this beauty.” She flicked her hair to the back and put her hand in her hips.
“Please, do you think beauty is all I care? Then think again. I got to go, stop wasting my time.” I disliked her so much, I can’t even stand to see her face, and so I left to the showers ignoring her completely- of course I didn’t finish undressing in front of her!
“Arrrrggg. You! You’ll pay for this Kai.”
Jotaru was spying on Kouin- he was doing his research to make sure what step to take next. “So it’s true, he loves the dork sister. My God, he must be nuts to refuse such a babe.” Jotaru was shocked since Kazumi was very beautiful, a LOT more than Kai. “He’ll loose her, even if I have to go out with that looser. No one embarrass me like that, breaking my nose, you idiot.”
After we ate, I was going crazy to just go see my dear Kai, so I hurry Naoki to get going. “Ready? Let’s go, Kai must be waiting for us, and I can’t wait to see her.”
“Oh really, and that’s new? You always want to see Kai, but you are more distracted than the usual Kou, what happen?”
“What happen?” I blushed immediately knowing nothing really happen, just that I was going crazy. “No…nothing, why you ask?” I never felt so disturbed before, it was all recently. I loved Kai for years, and Yutaka…but I never felt this desire in my heart.
“Oh come on, you don’t fool me, you are blushing and even got nervous!” Naoki was waiting for his explanation.
“Well…actually, nothing happen… But well…I guess I am a little shy when it comes to girls.”
“I think is not when it comes to girls, but when it comes to Kai.” ^_~
“Just shut up, we are here already.” (Clears throat) “Kai!”
“Finally, Mr. Punctuality! Oh, you brought Naoki too, cool! Study group, Yumi is here too.” ^_^ Kai said looking down her window.
“Oh great…not.” I was a little disappointed to know Yumi was there. :P
“Yumi is here!” Naoki was, on the contrary, excited. ^_^
“Come on up, what are you two waiting for, Christmas?” Kai yelled.
Yumi also looked down the window and start bugging the poor boys. “Stop wasting our time, you two dummies, we are busy and need to get rid of you two soon, so we can actually study for real, not try to stuck stuff in donkeys heads.”
“I will get you one day Yumi!” Steam was coming out of my head- she always had to make fun of me in a way or another.
“She is so funny.” Naoki said stupidly. ^__^
“Man, you are nuts!” (Roll eyes.)
It was after midnight and I was still in Kai’s room studying- but I think I get something. “I’m done with the test, can you check it?”
“Let’s see…hummm…” She corrected the quiz she made for him. “You did pretty good, you got a B+ ^_^ “
“Really?? I learn something?”
“Yup.”
“You are a genius! You are the best, I’ll kiss you!” And as always I made a mistake, I grabbed her and kissed her near the lips.
“Kou!” She pushed me away strongly. “Are you nuts?!” She was blushing.
“Oh…I am sorry, I didn’t mean to…I was just a little too happy.” I was embarrassed and hurt to be pushed away so harshly by her, like she felt it was so disgusting. She was never very affective to me; in fact I hardly ever get close to her because every time I tried, she backed off. So I guessed at that point that I was completely disgusting to her, and it broke my heart.
“All right. Now go home, I am so tired.” ‘He kissed me…’
“Me too, thanks and sorry for keeping you awake till late.” My eyes reflected sadness- obviously for her rejection.
‘He’s hurt! Kouin…’ “No prob. Good luck tomorrow.” She smiled at him to try to cheer him up a bit, but it didn’t worked.
“You can say that tomorrow.” ^_^ I smiled to cover my sadness- as always. “Good night Kai.” I was about to leave, but decided to tell her before it was too late. “Ummm…Kai…” But then I remembered how hard she pushed me and decide not to- there were enough humiliations for the day.
“Yes?”
“Nothing, just thanks.” ‘I guess after the way she treated you…’ (Sigh)
I went to my house and to my surprise Yutaka was sleeping in my bed, and I wondered what happened, but didn’t wake him and just lay beside him. “Yuyu…” ‘He looks so sweet… I wonder what happened? Did he fought with his brother again?’ It was so nice to have him with me- it was wonderful to me to have company. The serenity on his face was amazing, he looked so peaceful and so sweet my heart shrink with the emotion. One night I had her, and now I had him- it was perfect, but also very scary to me. I try to sleep some, but he was there. He, the one that I dream with every night, the same beautiful man I love every night in my dreams. How could I sleep when I had him beside me? I know I had him many nights before, but I always fall asleep so fast and I wasn’t so disturbed…and now, he was right there, completely vulnerable when I came in…it was hard.
I closed my eyes to try to forget he was right there, but he had to remind me with the soft little noise his breathing make. The sound was so sweet, I even get nearer so I could listen to him. Someone was beside me, and it made me so happy it was my dear Yuyu- my dear and lovely Yuyu. I fell asleep with the wonderful soft sound of his breathing until a frightened voice called on me.
“Kou…? Kou? Kou? Where are you? Where are you???”
“I’m right here, what’s wrong?” I touch his back and then he turned around and hugged me. He was panting and shaking with the fear he felt. “Hush sweetie. It’s ok.”
“Why you turned off the light?”
“I always turn off the light. I can’t sleep with it on, you know that.”
“I’m sorry…I just got lost and couldn’t find you.”
“You are sleeping in the other side of the bed, that’s all. Now, calm down.” Yutaka was very afraid of the darkness, but I had no idea why. Every time he stayed home, he slept to the same side of the bed and holding on to me, so he wouldn’t be scared, but since he was there when I got home, he was looking the other way, and it scared him when he founds himself in the darkness.
“Kouin…”
I felt his hands gripping into my arm and his body was still shaking -it made me worry. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing… Please hold me.”
I did as he request without knowing why he was so damn scared. It was the first time he trembled like that, and all I could do was hold him tighter than ever. His agitated breathing slowly normalized and I was able to sleep after I heard him snoring softly and so very cutely.
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