What is rice? Rice is not a derogatory term. Rice is apparently a state of mind for many boy-racers in several countries. Rice is the term given to most of the poseur import racers. You know the type. The stickers, the coffee can exhaust, the huge spoilers. It's about trying to look fast, while not necessarily being so.

There are as many reasons why ricey cars upset me as there are "ricey" cars. Mostly just because they look and sound so stupid. This sound they call "power." Last time I checked, power didn't sound like an angry mosquito on crack. Power sounds like a 440 6-pack through 3" exhaust. Power sounds like a hungry 340 looking for another import meal. Power, my friends, is the rumble of a full race Hemi with open headers. Ground shaking, earth rumbling, rice trembling Mopar muscle. Show me an import with a full interior, no turbo, and no NOS that runs in the low to mid 7s. Maybe then they might get my respect.

Then there are the stickers. I read on one website where a guy jokingly said each sticker adds 1/3 of a horsepower. All they are doing is giving away free advertising to all of their ricey friends. I'm not just talking about stickers though. This goes out to all the riceys that put a Type-R sticker on their base model Integras & Civics. The guys with Toyota Racing Division banners on their Mazdas. The ones who think that Eibach springs on their econo 4 door Accords turn it into a Formula One racer. The guys who felt empowered by "The Fast & The Furious." These are the "up and comers?" Stripes are another thing similar. Why put racing stripes, especially the offset ones, on an econo-car? Does it really make people fear a Metro, Prizm, or even a mighty 160 horsepower Civic Si? I didn't think so. I'm not saying racing stripes look stupid in general (I like them in fact), only that they don't belong on a slow car.

Another problem with these cars are the spoilers. Most recently seen fabricated from aluminum (I guess to fit in with all of the CART racers) these sometimes reach high enough to put the Superbirds/Daytonas to shame. One big difference though...B-Bodies are rear wheel drive. A spoiler over the drive wheels to keep the traction on them at high speeds. What with the FWD riceys? Does it plant those all important non-steering, non-driving rear wheels to the pavement? Does it put so much downforce on the rear wheels that the front lifts up, taking traction off of the drive wheels, yet making them feel like they are popping a wheelie? Maybe they have RWD envy. I don't know, just a guess.

One more thing. Maybe two. I haven't decided yet. Price. Given $25,000, would you: a) buy an F-Body for $1500, fix it up, and still have money to buy another used car for a daily driver, b) buy an already restored old Mopar and still have enough left over to buy that big screen TV, or c) buy a brand new Honda Civic, some huge wheels and tires, an exhaust system, and...oh. Sorry, you're out of money. And you're still slow. OK. So maybe judges go for the whole I spent a lot of money on my stereo and neon and ground effects and wheels and paint and stickers and single wiper conversion and exhaust. But it doesn't make it fast. All that extra stuff adds weight. And we all know that power to weight ratio is what makes cars quick. A set of color matched spark plug wires and a cold air induction box won't add horsepower to anyone but their girlfriends. I have just over $5,000 in my car. When all is said and done, it should run around a 13.00 street tires. Starting with that hypothetical $25,000, I could go buy a brand spankin' new Neon, keep it stock, and let the rest of the cash buy my lunch til July.

Let me just say that I have nothing against import cars. They are great for what they are - fuel-efficient daily drivers. And I'd also like to add that many quick factory imports have also come over that I hold high respect for: Toyota Supra, Mitsubishi 3000GT, Mazda RX-7, Honda S-2000, & the Subaru WRX. Notice only one of the aforementioned is actually reasonably priced, and it's also the only one I would like to own. And keep stock. I also don't have a problem with people that fix up any car to look fast if it actually is. These are the people who are on the racing circuit, and who usually keep their cars in sleeper mode if it is also a daily driver.

I didn't even make it to the European imports, mainly because of the lack of people that can afford to buy a BMW M3 or try to make a 318ti hatchback look like one. Domestic rice is an entirely separate issue that is similar, but I don't want to get into right now.

Thank you for your time, and whether you agree or disagree with me, my opinion holds with that of the links on that page.