After a few dozen fake throws, Spot sailed over the cliff after the stick, looking back long enough to gave me one of those appreciative "Wow, you really tricked me THAT time!" looks.
~ Mike Cunningham

If hindsight is "20/20" then why did the FedEx guy back over my cat?
~ Ward Cobleigh

I wish that the leaves would fly south every fall and the birds would die and fall to the ground. That way I could get my cat to do all the raking.
~ Andy Pierson

I used to brake for squirrels, until I remembered Darwin and that whole "cull out the weak" thing. But when I realized that I might be responsible for a future that includes super-intelligent squirrels, I started braking again.
~ Tidewaterjoe

I don't care how much you and your cat love each other, if you were one inch smaller than the sweet little kitty, he'd eat you in a heartbeat.
~ Christopher Ames

I suppose that when ants get stepped on, they have no idea what hit them. But I'll bet that hasn't stopped them from coming up with fancy names for it, like "spontaneous compression" or "vertical planar syndrome."
~ LeMel Hebert-Williams

Birds of a feather flock together. Then they all get sucked into the engine of the same jet liner.
~ Meghan Skinner

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
~ Unknown

As Grandma's two spoiled, puffy-headed miniature poodles dangled from my shins, yelping helplessly, I thought to myself, "Not shaving is cool."
~ Pam Pickard

I thought it would be cool to teach my cat to use the blender, but I forgot to factor in the inevitable furry margaritas.
~ Joseph Moore

I hear pseudo-philosophers go on about the importance of "dog" being "god" backwards and other such nonsense. It doesn't concern me much, because I figure if God were humping people's legs we'd have heard about it by now.
~ Davejames