FEED SATAN TO YOUR CATS

Because rational thought needs a break.
The soviets want to sell your testicles and
MAKE THEM INTO LUNCH MEAT FED TO SIX FOOT MIDGETS

Much adventure fighting! The Gene Ray Letters
Elderly people are a group of respectable individuals that our nation can always rely on when it needs valuable advice, prunes, or tips on how to drive like a dead jackal. Some old people, however, do horrible, horrible things. One such thing would be creating websites bent on destroying the world as we know it. I had the pleasure of sending several emails to an old guy named Gene Ray who runs a wondrous puddle of internet crap we all like to call TimeCube.com. Read on to discover what happens when teenagers do battle with rabid senior citizens.


Be mesmerized by its sheer stupidity Fun Lies to Tell Children
This page isn't about murder or guns, but more about another thing that all Americans seem to love. No, not pornography. Or horses. Or George Foreman grills. I'm talking about telling little white lies to innocent children. The children who sell you nasty candy bars for fund raisers. The kids who ride their bikes on the sidewalk outside of your house. The precious little bastards who get their asses kicked for riding those bikes on your lawn. These kids usually have parents who press charges, but we won't get into that. Just read the page.


Don't even look at it! It'll make you kill people! The Revised Murder Page
During the time I was being oppressed by the system that's supposed to protect me, I got paranoid. If I was going to be put into three days of hindered education inside a cold room filled with other teens carving "Freedom" into the arms with the knives they were allowed to bring into school, then I sure as hell didn't want have the school see the original Murder Page. Hell, I saw what happened to Jx Fine. His ass got expelled for having a website out of school. The First Amendment is dead if you go to public schools. Anyway, this page is a satirical revised version of the Original Murder Page.


He's screaming because he likes it, I swear The Original Murder Page
It's webpages like this that make the idiots in the world assume that I'm going to murder them. I can honestly say that I've had people ask me if I was going to kill them. People too stupid to joke around. So if you think that just because I can let my mind wander that I am going to chop your own arm off and feed it to you or whatever, then fine. Believe it. Believe the tabloids while you're at it. The world is ending in a week! Oh, the humanity! Better stock up on heroin needles and Kool-Aid or whatever the hell you insane bastards buy when you're afraid of something irrational.