Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"

Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.

Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!

My kid got your honour roll student pregnant.

To all you virgins... Thanks for nothing.

If you can read this... I lost my trailer.

Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me.

I have the body of a God.... Buddha.

So manny pedestrians...so little time.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway!

Illiterate...Write for help.

Cover me... I'm changing lanes.

Boldly going nowhere.

Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel.

And now my favorite one:
If you Don't like the way i drive, GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!!!