Adventures in Decorating, part 3

by A. Fraser and J. Hontz

Part 3

© Copyright 2005 A. Fraser and J. Hontz. All rights reserved.

Gideon and Josh had hardly had time to get their breath back (yes, I know, figuratively speaking) when the door to
the suite slammed open and Mitch came in with a body in black slung over his shoulder.  Adele tripped brightly along beside him.  Mitch, who did breathe, wasn't even doing it heavily - well, except when he looked Adele's way.
Mitch shrugged his shoulder and the body landed on the rug with a thump.

The noise brought Mrs Barnard, holding an Uzi, and Spencer, holding a book, out into the main room of the suite. 

"Aha!" Mrs Barnard, Mabel (her mother had been English), said. "Another assassin!"

"Don't shoot him!" Spencer yelped and put his hands over his ears.

"Whyever not?" Mabel asked him.

"Because it is ever so messy," Julian commented with a frown.  "Besides, we might actually like to learn something from him."

Mabel was leaning down to examine the fellow.  "What is that symbol on his forehead.  You've smudged it, " she added, frowning at Mitch.

Julian knelt beside the fellow and Gideon leant over too. Josh was busy eyeing Mabel's Uzi.  It was pretty apparent
Josh didn't think it went well with the rooms furnishings.

Julian frowned as he examined the symbol.  "I've no idea. Does it look familiar to you, Gideon?"

Gideon shook his head, but frowned down at the limp body. "No, but for some odd reason, he makes me think of a monk. Why would that be?"

Adele nodded.  "I had that feeling, too," she said.  "These guys don't really look like monks, but they make you think of monks."

"You know what those marks remind me of?" Mitch asked.

Everyone looked at him, expecting some deep lycanthropic insight.

"What?" several people asked.

"Those weird Arab guys in _The Mummy_.  They had marks on their foreheads, too."

Josh sighed.  "Those 'marks' were Arabic words, Mitch.  This is more like some kind of sigil."

But Gideon had been replaying the recent conversations over again in his head.  He looked at Mabel.

"_Another_ assassin?" he asked.

"Oui.  There's another one in the bathroom.  In the bathtub."

"In the bathtub?"  Julian asked.

"Well, I didn't think letting him bleed all over the rug was a very good option," Spencer commented cautiously.

Julian waved his hand, minimizing Spencer's concern regarding the rug.  "Is he alive?"  he asked.

"Yes,"  Spencer replied.  "He's bound and gagged.  The others fled, leaving him behind."

Everyone trooped into the bathroom where, sure enough, a fellow dressed in black was lying in the bathtub. He'd been bound with book binding tape.

At Julian's amused look Spencer said defensively, "It was the nearest thing to hand, sir."

"I gather I'll see a new entry on the weekly expense sheet you so studiously present me."  Julian's amusement confused poor Spencer.

"Uhm, yes.  I'm afraid we had to use every bit of it."

Julian then approached the mummy-wrapped fellow and with no regard for the pain involved, ripped the tape from the man's lips.

"Aieeee!" the man groaned.

"Ah, how convenient that you aren't from some sect that practices silence as an art form."

The man glared at Julian.

"So, dear fellow, who were you after.  Myself?  Josh? Gideon?  Or were you attempting to abscond with Mabel's recipes?  I do hope it's not the latter. I don't especially like fricasseed sweetmeats a la  trussed turkey."

The trussed turkey glared at each of the men standing over him.

Julian crossed his arms on his chest and tapped his foot.

The bound fellow opened his mouth and said, "I am a monk of the Honoured and Ancient Order of the Holy Reliquary Guardians of the Mysteries of Ourobouros! You, a heretic, have a katadesmoi that belongs to us!  I command you to surrender it to us!"

Josh, noting that everyone was looking down at the man in black (lot of that going around), leaned over and whispered to Mitch, "At long last, we've found an organization with a name that makes 'The Brotherhood of Darkness' sound normal."

The werewolf's lips twitched.

"What is a katadesmoi?" Gideon asked Julian.

Julian explained,  "Oh that's an ancient lead tablet used for aggressive magic.  It generally curses an individual but it can sometimes be used to curse entire groups of people."

"My dear fellow, you're hardly in a position to do much demanding of anything.  And certainly complimenting me is
hardly going to get you very far.  Instead, I suggest we attempt a sensible conversation regarding your wants and our willingness to consider them."

The Honoured and Ancient Reliquary Guardian of the Mysteries of Ourobouros spat at Julian and then firmly shut his mouth.

"Is this lead tablet of yours worth killing for?" Josh inquired of Julian.

"Killing him, you mean?" Julian asked, with a nod to the conscious one of their two captives. "Or killing us?"

"Killing him does have its appeal," said Gideon slowly, watching the monk go pale.

"I don't get why they were after us, though," Mitch said, prodding his captive with his foot. The monk moaned and
showed signs of coming to.

"We don't have this mystic catamaran." He looked at Adele. "Do we?"

Adele was standing there lost in thought, until Mitch spoke up. "Do we what?"

"Have the ancient thingumagee," Mitch said.

"Well, uhm, noooooo."

"There's a but there, I know it.." Mitch muttered.

Gideon, who was very angry but not showing it as usual, casually reached down and picked up the recovering monk by the front of his black shirt. "Good question," he said. "Why _did_ you attack my employee and Miss Blakesley?" he asked.

The Guardian opened his eyes and realized that he was one foot away from a vampire. A civilized, well-dressed, aristocratic vampire, but still a vampire. He weighed his options. "Bargaining chips," he said, even though the other monk warned, "Ssh! Don't tell them anything!"

"You were going to use us as hostages so that Julian would give you the katadesmoi," Adele said, shaking her head.

"But you tried twice tonight to kill Julian," Josh frowned. "It's a bit hard to bargain with a dead man." He met his lover's eyes. "In most circumstances," he amended with a grin.

Adele had moved over to stand close to Julian, their eyes met for a moment and then Julian nodded ever so slightly.
Adele reached then into her blouse between her breasts, which made Mitch drool and Josh elbow him as a result, and pulled out a small something attached to a fine chain that had been hanging there.

The monk groaned... "Aiiieeeeee," he said when he saw it. He followed that up with what sounded suspiciously like a prayer muttered just under his breath. They got the feeling he'd have thrown himself to his knees and bent toward, uhm, wherever, whilst banging his head against the floor if he'd been able.

“A gift from your fath... Er, your brother, I take it?" Julian asked.

Adele nodded.

"So, you would have been a bit more than a bargaining chip."

"What is that?" Josh asked.

Adele approached him and Gideon, Mitch was leaning over to look as well. "Egyptian, I think," Adele said as she showed it to them. It was a small gold and lapis sphinx. It had the body of a lioness, teats filled with milk, the head of a woman and curved wings inlayed with lapis lazuli.

"Late period, obvious Greek influence," Julian added thoughtfully. "So our boys aren't only interested in Babylonian artefacts. I don't suppose you," here Julian was looking at Gideon, "have any sort of ancient bit of jewellery - say a tie tack or cufflinks?"

Gideon, looking a bit surprised, surveyed the jewellery he wore. Item 1) an unremarkable white gold wedding ring of slightly less than ten years' vintage, with embossed oak leaves. Item 2) a handsome wrist watch of approximately
twenty or so years' vintage, made by the admirable Rolex company. Neither item was in any way magical or could be interpreted as such. Since Joshua had made him dress informally for this trip, he was lacking both tie tack and cufflinks.

"Or in your suitcases? Or have you recently purchased some delightful bit of antiquary that might have incorporated
anything even more ancient than your period of interest?" Julian asked Josh.

The monk was looking daggers at Julian.

Julian returned his look with a benign smile.

Josh said, "Well, I have one or two items that might qualify, but as they're sitting in my safe in my office in Maine, I can't see..." his voice trailed off as two people came running up the stairs. Two vampires. One was very definitely male, and looked as if he was the sort who enjoyed a good drink, a good laugh and a good woman; not necessarily in that order. If you looked up the word "roue" in a dictionary, you would almost certainly find a picture of Jean de la Mare beside the definition.

The other was a tallish blonde woman, quite beautiful in ordinary circumstances. At the moment, however, she looked both angry and very slightly frightened. It took a lot to frighten Genevieve de Monet.

"Merde," said Jean, pulling himself to a halt as his eyes swept over the tableau in the hotel.

"More of them?" Genevieve asked. "How many of these things are there?" She was, most unusually, dressed in slacks and a practical shirt-like blouse. When one is fleeing mad monks in one's chateau, one does not tend to stop to pack the Dior.

Gideon made hasty introductions after going over and kissing Genevieve on the cheek. Josh gave her a hug and a kiss. Jean looked as if he would have liked to kiss Adele.

"What were they after, Gen?" Joshua asked his turndam.

"Claude's ring," she replied, taking it out of its hiding place--which was remarkably similar to where Adele hid her sphinx. "They said that the ring of a master vampire would have incredible powers."

"And what have you done with those Guardians?" demanded oneof the conscious monks.

Genevieve looked at him quite steadily as she replied, "I killed them, of course."

"Anyone stupid enough to try and steal from a vampire deserves what they get," snorted Adele. "Right, Mitch?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely," he replied cheerfully, managing not to look at his employer.

Gideon crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. Mitch had the grace to blush.

Genevieve turned to Julian. "Not quite the meeting I had imagined," she said, a smile quirking at her lips despite--or perhaps because of--the circumstances. "But it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Julian advanced toward her, took her proffered hand and raised it to his lips. "Madame," he said after he'd brushed
his lips across the back of her hand. "I apologize for the, uhm, blood and such. Alas, we haven't quite killed any of them. Shall we dispatch a few?"

The nearest monk turned quite green. Adele's bright laughter rang out. "Julian, do stop showing off. You have no intention of killing any of them. More's the pity. Although that option might be easier on them."

The monk turned greener.

Jean advanced toward Adele who dropped him a sketch of a curtsey. "Monsieur, do you reside in Paris?"

"Oui," he replied.

"Down girl," Julian said with a sigh.

Jean and Adele continued to have a very soft conversation which it is just as well nobody else heard. Genevieve gave her rogue companion a narrow-eyed look, but said nothing.

"So," Julian offered as he walked a circle around the bound monk, "they're after me, possibly Adele and apparently you M.."

"Oh do call me Genevieve," Gen commented. "Formality in the face of shared danger does seem just a bit ...."

"...un peu trop?" Julian supplied.

"Exactly."

He turned his attention back to the monk, still circling him. "Worried about the vampires, are we?" he said softly.

"Hmmm. Perhaps you ought to consider the mage."

The monk opened his mouth, reconsidered, then swallowed noisily.

"Ah, not at all certain about that are you? How interesting."

"So why do you want our property and what do you plan to do with it once you have it?" Julian's voice was dead calm, and quite polite.

Both monks looked at each other, then at their unsympathetic audience. "That is not a matter for knowless men," said one.

There were four vampires in the room. Four sets of fangs slid into place. Mitch's eyes glowed and he started a subvocal growl.

"However," continued the Guardian hastily, "it is our sacred duty to gather together powerful occult symbols and items, especially to keep them out of the hands of knowless men."

Genevieve stared at him. "I think I know what my husband's ring is," she said icily.

"And Julian seems to know what the katzenjammer is," Mitch added.

The monk waved these arguments aside. "But you do not know the _power_," he said. "The holy reliquaries must not be used for common magic or control!"

"Shut up," said the other monk.

"And you fellows of course only use magic and power for the most humanitarian and noble reasons, I'm sure," Julian
laughed. "Which is why you break into people's homes and attack them rather than asking for them nicely. Ah, I understand!"

Both monks glowered at him. "You stole from us."

"I did?" Julian asked, not in the least bit angered by the comment. On the contrary, he looked deep in thought. "When?"he finally asked. "Where?"

"In Armana. You stole our ..."

"Shut up!" screamed the other conscious monk.

"But I haven't been to Egypt for ... Ah... You have me confused with my erstwhile partner in crime. I'm on my own
now, and shucked his ever-so-prissy conscience.

"Well, I think we've learnt all we can from them. Shall we kill them now and dispose of the mess? After all, they are
rather ruining a perfectly good evening." Julian looked around brightly at the vampires.

He was ignoring Adele and Mitch, although he could hardly help but notice Jean was leaning even closer toward Adele's ear and he wouldn't have been surprised to see Jean's tongue slip out to caress that shell-like ear.

Spencer, who'd come in from watching the monk in the bathroom to listen turned a nice shade of puce, but Mabel nodded eagerly.


 

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