Shelley

Homepage: Blooming and Pruning A Christian Growth and Encouragement Site
Her parenting page: Parenting With Heart

Shelley's Thoughts on Gentle Mothering

1.What does gentle mothering mean to you?
It means I can raise more loving, sensitive, and caring kids by being more caring, loving and sensitive to them and their needs.

2.Why do you feel that gentle mothering is so important?
They can trust me because they know that I will respond to their needs, and they can feel secure because they feel responded to. I believe, as parents, we model our children's view of their Creator. I believe that so many of the negative views of God are the result of a harsh, punishment oriented homes. I believe this benevolent, but disciplined method of parenting is the best environment to demonstrate our benevolent and just God.

3.Why do you feel that God wants you to parent this way?
I feel that God has given us an incredible and wonderful privilege to raise two beautiful children. I believe this is the most responsible way to parent. We are stewards of these little people and will be called to accountability some day.

Shelley's Testimony

I had a frightening childhood. My father had a problem with rage often beat my older brother and I as young as (at least) 4. My mother was kind, but never "stepped in" to save us (as I thought she should). Skipping ahead many years, the beatings got less frequent and were replaced by fits of anger from my father, but this wasn't the worst of my problems. I was molested by a neighbor for years and some how became prey for sexual harassment from my brother's friends from as young as 11. This was frequent as my mother began to work and we were latch-key kids sometimes until late. Things started to culminate around my twelfth birthday. My father told me late one night on my bed, that my mother was having an affair. And though he cried on my shoulder, I resented that he never gave me the time of day until he "needed me". My dearest grandma got cancer, and she was seemingly my only friend, since my parents had no time for me and the kids at school rejected me (a troubled kid can seem pretty weird). Worse yet, it is a small town and kids at school found out about my mom and it was a favorite joke of the meanest kids. I even found myself in sins that I despised.

It wasn't long after this that I considered suicide out of a life that was swirling down the toilette. So I tried to read the Bible to find out if a person would go to hell for such and act. I tried to read cover to cover (never heard of a concordance then). I never found anything outside of Judas' incident, so I reasoned: "Killing yourself is killing...which is a sin... you go to hell for sins... unless you ask God to forgive you... but how can you ask forgiveness if you are dead, BUT if you kill yourself to where you're not all the way dead and then asked....BUT that might be manipulating God and he might just send me to hell just for that... " SO, I was miserable!! I cried every night for a long time for God to take my life, and to forgive me of sins I was sure He could not forgive. After many many nights of this, one night Someone spoke back. It wasn't an audible voice, but sounded like my own thought, but I was shocked because I didn't put it there! After a series of "I don't want my life's", I heard "If you don't want it, I'll take it." I knew who it was, so, remembering how to do this from some Sunday morning radio show (Power-line) I asked him into my life and heart... I gave my life to Him.

He did forgive me, He did change my life. Not over night, but it changed dramatically. People noticed that I was no longer the same. I began to smile again. I will never regret what the Lord did for me, nor what circumstances it took to bring me fully to Him. He has given me the tools and the determination to keep my children from this pain. Though I cannot control everything, I can control me, and I know my God is in control of it all.