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Is Abstinence
Right for You Now?
There are two
types of abstinence. Both prevent pregnancy. Both keep sperm out of the
vagina. Periodic abstinence is a way that sexually active women prevent
pregnancy. They become familiar with their fertility patterns. Then they
abstain from vaginal intercourse on the days they think they could become
pregnant. Continuous abstinence is not having sex play with a partner at
all. This is the kind of abstinence discussed here.
100
Percent Effective
Continuous
abstinence is 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. It also
prevents sexually transmitted infection.
Everyone is
sexual
Practicing
abstinence does not mean a person is sexless. Almost all women and men are
abstinent at some time in their lives. It can be a positive way of dealing
with sexuality — as a well thought-out choice regarding one's body,
mind, spirit, and sexual health. Some abstinent women and men enjoy
"sexy" thoughts and feelings. Others can use their sexual energy
for creative, physical, or intellectual activities.
Special
Advantages for Teens
Sexual relationships present physical and emotional risks. Abstinence is a
very good way to postpone taking those risks until you are able to handle
them. Women who abstain until their 20s — and who have fewer partners in
their lifetimes — may have certain health advantages over women who do
not. They are less likely to
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get sexually
transmitted infections |
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become
infertile |
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develop
cancer of the cervix |
Reasons
Why People Choose to Abstain
Women and men abstain from sex play for many reasons — even after
they've been sexually active. These reasons change throughout life.
People
choose abstinence to
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wait until
they're ready for a sexual relationship |
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wait to find
the "right" partner |
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support
personal, moral, or religious beliefs and values |
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deal with
separation from a partner |
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get over a
breakup |
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heal from the
death of a partner |
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have fun with
friends without sexual involvement |
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pursue
school, career, or extracurricular activities |
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prevent
pregnancy |
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prevent
sexually transmitted infection |
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follow
medical advice during an illness or infection |
Any
woman or man can abstain from sex play. Many do so at various times in
their lives. Some choose to do so all their lives.
Possible Problems
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People may find it difficult to abstain for long periods of
time. |
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Women and men often end their abstinence without being prepared
to protect themselves against pregnancy or infection. |
Staying Abstinent
Before you need to make a sexual decision
Women and men need to be clear about their reasons and values to stay
abstinent. When you are in a sexual situation, it helps to be able to
remember why you made the decision to be abstinent in the first place. How
can you stay abstinent? Think about your answers to these questions:
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Am I aware of
situations that could make staying abstinent difficult for me? Can I
avoid them? |
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I know
alcohol and other drugs can affect my judgment and decision-making
ability. How do I feel about not using them? |
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Are there
people in my life I can talk to about my decision to abstain from sex
play? Will they be supportive? |
When
you need to make a sexual decision
Abstinence can be difficult for some people, especially in a sexual
situation.
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Remind
yourself why you chose to be abstinent. |
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Think
about the consequences. |
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Don't reevaluate your decision to stay abstinent during sexual
situations — stick with your decision until you can think about it with
a clear head.
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Most people stop being abstinent at some point in their lives. When
you decide not to be abstinent, ask yourself
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Do I have information about and access to other methods of birth
control?
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Do I know how to protect myself from infection? |
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Talking About
Abstinence
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Talking with
your partner about your decision to abstain from sex play is
important. Partners need to be honest with each other and make sexual
decisions together. These are some of the best ways to keep a
relationship happy. Even so, it may not be easy to do. You may feel
awkward or embarrassed. |
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It's best to
talk about your feelings before things get sexual. For many people
it's hard to be clear about what they want when they are aroused. It
is helpful to think — ahead of time — about how you can say
"no" to sex play. What behavior will be clear? What words
will be best? You can practice saying the words out loud. Then think
about how someone could respond to you. |
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Take the time
to consider fully what being abstinent will mean for you. It is
important to know what you are thinking and feeling and what you need.
Then you can tell your partner about it. |
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Be
straightforward about the limits you want to set. |
Being
in a Relationship and Being Abstinent
Being sexual is not the only way two people can get to know each other.
Sex play is also not the only way couples can be intimate, or close.
People get closer as they build trust and intimacy by
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talking |
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listening |
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sharing |
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being honest |
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respecting
each other's thoughts and feelings |
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having fun
together |
Abstinence
can only work when both partners agree to it. So it is also helpful to
keep talking to each other about why you've agreed to abstain from sex
play. Your relationship may change. And your decision to be abstinent may
change, too.
Cost
Most methods of birth control have some cost. Abstinence costs nothing.
Your
contraceptive needs may change throughout your life. To decide which
method to use now, consider how well each one will work for you:
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How well will
it fit into your lifestyle? |
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How
convenient will it be? |
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How effective
will it be? |
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How safe will
it be? |
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How
affordable will it be? |
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How
reversible will it be? |
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Will it help
prevent sexually transmitted infections? |
We
hope this information on abstinence can help you decide.
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