A Few Anagrams...
Dormitory  --  Dirty Room
Evangelist  --  Evil's Agent
Desperation  --  A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code  --  Here Come Dots
Slot Machines   --  Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity  --  Is No Amity
Mother-in-law  --  Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms  --  Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness  --  Genuine Class
Semolina  --  Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries  --  Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point  --  I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes  --  That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two  --  Twelve plus one
Contradiction  --  Accord not in it

And for the grand finale: 

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

Can be rearranged to: 

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

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The Irish Businessmen...

Two Irish men are walking along Kensington High Street when they see a sign.Suits £15.00shirts £2.00trousers £2.50One said to the other one "Look at that - we could buy a lot of that gear and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune, When we go into the shop don't say anything let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us so i'll speak in my best English accent." They go in and he orders, 50 suits at £15.00100 shirts at £2.00 and 50 trousers at £2.50the owner of the shop says "You're Irish aren't you " he says 

"Oh bollocks...Yes, how de hell did you know that ?", The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners!!!!!

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An Irish bloke goes to the doctor. "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".

So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. "Incredible" he says, "there is a $20 note lodged up here". Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a $10 note appears. "This is amazing" exclaims the Doctor. "What do you want me to do?  "Well fur fughs sake teyhk it out man!" shrieks the patient.  The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another etc ..... Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.  "Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter, how moch is dare den?.  The Doctor counts the pile of cash. "$1990 exactly."  

"Ah, dat'd be roit. I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.

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The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed from generation to generation, states that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However modern management best practice has developed far more effective strategies, such as:-

1. Buying a stronger whip, and flogging the horse till it shows signs of life.

2. Changing Riders.

3. Threatening the horse with termination.

4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.

6. Hiring outside consultants to prepare an RFP on benchmarking dead horse performance.

7. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

8. Re-classifying the dead horse as "living, impaired".

9. Hiring independent contractors to ride the dead horse.

11. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.

12. Providing additional funding for external training courses to improve the dead horse's performance.

13. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would increase the dead horse's output.

14. Noting that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the business than do some other horses.

15. Re-writing the technical and shared competency requirements for horses as part of the new global Equine model (gEm).

16. Promoting the dead horse to a Senior Management position.

17. Completing a strategic e-Business review to see if disintermediation of supply chain activity will ease the bottleneck caused by slow dead horses.

18. Offer the horse career counselling and the option of a transfer to a less stressful position of equivalent status.

19. Warn the horse that not completing timesheets could adversely impact its at-risk salary component.

20. Check with IT Support to see if the whole network is down, or just this horse.

21. Deciding that 3 dead horses will be more efficient than 4.

22. Sending a dead horse to America to tell them how to do their job.

23. Pay the dead horse a massive redundancy after it made a complete hash of the job it was doing.

24. Tell the dead horse that it is too old and lazy, thus lifting its morale an productivity.

25. Tell the dead horse that it will receive a pay rise if gets unit standards.

Material on the "Offside" webpages have all been created by other sources, with most of the material having been forwarded to me.  I have named the author when known.  Please let me know if you have created any of the above material and want it removed.