ok...so he's done it again. he has got me all worked up. geez. what's wrong with me lately? i'm letting all these things get to me...and it's really starting to bug. shawn thinks it's PMS, but i don't think that's a really good excuse, so i don't really like to use it. i guess i might PMS here and there, but...for the most part, i try to be a consistent person when it comes to my personality.

so.....what did it this time? it actually sorta built up over time, but here's the basics of it. he has one of my cell phones. and the reason i don't mind him using it (it's just the phone...he has his own sim card) is cuz his using my phone means that i'll always have a way to contact him no matter what. so it's better to let him borrow mine than make him go on for God knows how long without a phone. but here's the thing: sometimes he doesn't have the phone with him, and sometimes he doesn't get my phone calls...sometimes he doesn't even check the messages i leave for him. so what's the freakin point?? i don't know either.

what else? well...several times, we sorta made casual plans to hang out...or to meet up for a specific reason. no big deal. so i'm cool with it, so i set aside whatever time of the day i feel it might take up...and i tell him to call. but he doesn't freakin call. i swear...he never calls when he's supposed to. once in a while, he will...but of course it's usually when i can't pick up n/e wayz..like when i'm in class. so i always call him. and i hate being the one that always calls...cuz then i fell like i'm being annoying. but...yeah.

so n/e wayz, i'm waiting for this dood to call me. and i sit and wait. i mean...sure, i occupy myself with other things to do, but i'm basically waiting by the phone..and i waste a whole freaking day, thinking, "he'll call...he'll call..." but he doesn't call. so i end up calling him. and he's in a "bad situation." i'm not trying to belittle him...or downplay his "bad situation," but i'm saying...a girl can only stand so much. how many times do i hafta be understanding cuz he's in a bad situation?? the least he could do is pick up the damn phone call when i call...or call me and let me know he can't hang out (since he did freaking tell me several times we would get together) or even send a simple text message letting me know he can't meet up today.

geez.

louise.

someone shoot me