This Bear’s on Strike !

 

My daughter stood with her hands on her hips and said,

“Oh, Mom, you look like a grumpy old Teddy Bear !”

 

Well, let me tell you folks,

 

This Bear’s on Strike !

 

That’s it, over cadover. I lay down my tools and I rest my butt !

Want to know why I’m on strike ? Really want to know ?

 

I’m sick of it ! I’m sick and tired of being treated like I

HAVE NO MIND !

 

 

Yesterday, in the bank, I was having a hard time finding

my cheque book. There’s a lot of things in my handbag,

and it’s rather large, so it took a while.

 

A breezy young assistant hopped over to me.

She looked young enough to be my grandchild.

Her shoulder-length blonde hair bobbed and squeaked as she walked.

There was a spring in her step. Her eyes were clear and fine.

Her skin glowed, and her butt wiggled like two puppies in a sack.

 

She laid her hand on my arm, put her lips to my ear, and said in a VERY LOUD VOICE,

“Are you OK, Grandma ? Anything I can do to help ?”

 

I was NOT looking helpless, oh no siree.

I had walked into that bank in full stride, in my best orthopedic sandals,

and I was NOT looking helpless.

 

I like to think I was not looking DEAF either ? Why did she have to shout ?

Did she see any sign of a hearing aid ? Does everyone over 50 look DEAF ?

How do you look when you’re deaf ? I’d like to know !

Do you look abnormal ? I never thought so before,

and I know a few deaf people !

 

Anyway, I pulled my arm firmly from her steely grasp, and in my SEXIEST voice

(I tried a Marlene Dietrich)

said “No thank you honey, I’m not past it yet.”

 

She replied (once again, in her LOUDEST voice),

 “Oh Grandma, do you have a sore throat ?

Your voice sounds kinda funny”.

 

People were starting to stare ! This girl was definitely attracting attention.

I lowered my voice “I’m fine,” I snarled, “will you go away !”

 

A junior bank manager walked over. He had that kind of face you could slap !

“Any problem here ?” His smile was enough to sicken me to my stomach.

“No problem !” I snapped. “Blondie here thinks I need help, and I don’t.”

I was getting really heated by this time, and to make matters worse I

couldn’t find the damn cheque book !

 

He had his hand and my left arm.

“Oh, dear, a little confused, are we ?” he smirked.

 

WE ? WE? I looked around. There wasn’t two of us – it was just ME !

Who the hell was he calling WE ?

 

Barbie reached for my right arm. There I stood, in the middle of the Bank,

one on either side of me, both grinning at me as if I was an imbecile !

 

I Blew !!!

 

“Get your hands off me !” I growled deeply.

 

“Oh, my, my, is Granny getting angry ?”

That face you could slap was a half inch away from mine.

 

I pulled myself away from them both, and in my most charming voice said,

 

“If you two don’t leave me alone, I’ll break your @%&**)$# arms !”

 

They sprang back as if bitten.

 

Blondie’s eyes were wide with shock, and the face you could slap had its mouth hanging open.

 

 “Oh, my, I didn’t think Grandma’s spoke like that !”

 

I pulled myself up to my full height !

 

“Well, Ken & Barbie, welcome to the real world”.

 

 

 

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Site created and maintained by Gran

This page uploaded 22nd August 2000

Last updated 22nd August 2000

 

Copyright ã 2000 Gran