Here are just a few things you lose when your life is invaded with Epilepsy. Here is our Story.... 

A good nights sleep

A sense of security

An objective view of the future

Growing up, I remember drives where my dad would mumble a number, it was the same number each time, and meant nothing to any of us…but we all knew what was happening when it was said.  My mother would grab the steering wheel of the car, and put the shifter into the neutral position…and ease the car off to the side of the road.

I remember not thinking that much about it, as a child.  As an adult it scares the crap out of me and amazes my adult self that I’m still alive, along with my parents, and my sister, and everyone else that happened to be on the road at the same time we were.

My dad was never diagnosed with Epilepsy.  He had MS, and these “moments” where just part of that…or that is what I was told.

So living with those memories, I thought that seizures wouldn’t bother me if I ever came to have to cope with them…in some ways I was right and in some I was very wrong.

In March, of 2001 I bred my first and only (to date) litter of Weimaraners. I had such high hopes.  They all were deemed “showable” while some more “finishable” then others… I loved them all equally.

In July, of 2003, I came home from work one day to find my puppy from that litter, sick, really sick.  I rushed her to the vet and was sent home…she had a decease I knew little about…I had an appointment with a specialist for the very next morning.  I brought her home, came in and found her aunt, my first weimaraner sick as well.  Needless to say I was horrified.  I immediately called the Emergency Vet.  I gathered the composure I could, and loaded Grayce up and took off.  I carried a lethargic Rachel into the clinic, it’s amazing how heavy 47 lbs. can feel as dead weight.  Grayce walked in, wobbly, but on her own. 

As the three of us sat on the floor of an exam room, waiting for some unknown injection I think or maybe it was blood work results… I never expected what I was going to go through in the next 18 hours.

Rachel, my baby girl was laying in my lap, Grayce nervously sat nearby, wondering what she’d done to deserve a dreaded vet visit.  Miller and Zeta sat at home, unable to tell me what they must have witnessed during the day while I was at work.

Suddenly Rachel’s drowsy head lifted and arched, I bent down to say “are you tired, sweetie…stretching a bit…” and then the scream came out of her, and then I found my own screams for help, combining with those coming from Rachel.

Her legs started paddling, her head arched and I was struck with panic, crying out for help.

The vet and his assistant came in and tried to calm me while administering a shot to try and stop Rachel’s seizure.  The vet assistant moved her tounge to the corner of her mouth, it hung out and I remember her saying, it’s ok, dogs don’t bite their tounges off.

Someone, maybe me, lifted her onto the exam table… I held her the best I could… I held her legs, stopping them from their swimming motion… the assistant thought the GM seizure had stopped til’ she saw it was me, that had stopped the paddling physically.  Another shot was administered, and slowly Rachel body limply relaxed on the exam table.  Grayce just looked on at all of us…I can only imagine the horror that was going through her mind.

A physical exam showed battle wounds that told us that Rachel had most likely seized during the day as well, while she was alone.

I lost Rachel and Grayce within hours.

The weekend was pure hell.  The next week, I was useless at work.  Tears interrupted every aspect of day-to-day living.  I slept incredibly hard, which was amazing…physically and mentally I was exhausted.

One night, I was awaken by Zeta, Rachel’s sister.  She’d fallen off the bed and a stench of anal glands penetrated the air, and there she was, thrashing, paddling and salivating…  Horrified, I recognized the signs, I’d seen them just days earlier…she was seizing.

I picked her up, carried her in the living room, she paddled, her eyes rolled back, and her pupils dilated…and her bladder let loose onto the carpet.  I was kneeling, crying, god, don’t do this to me again.  Suddenly, she was still, silent.  I feared the worse… I shook her, Zeta, no…. she jumped up as if someone had snapped his or her fingers.  She ran from me into the dining room.  She stood growling, staring at me… she didn’t recognize the first human to ever hold her after she was born, she had no clue who I was, or what had just happened to her.  Moments later she was practically knocking me down, kissing my face, crying, like she hadn’t seen me for months.

Devastated I called the Emergency Vet, the assistant said casually, not to worry… NOT TO WORRY! 

I called my friend, who said she’d call the emergency vet and meet me there… to bring Zeta in right away, regardless of what they had told me. I placed one more call, to her co-owner… I woke him up, “Jeff, Zeta’s had a seizure, I’m on the way to the Emergency Vet now”…..  all he said was “OK”.  While getting dressed, the phone rang, it was Jeff, awake now… What was happening? He knew I’d do what was needed, he appreciated me helping her”.

By the time we got to the Emergency Clinic, Zeta was almost back to her normal self.  She was looked over, a test was run for the poison that had taken her sister and her aunt from our lives…it was negative, I was so relieved.  But confused and concerned at the same time.

The vet on call and my friend, tried to encourage me to think positive, there are many reason’s why dogs seize…

The next day I took her to my regular vet, she spent the day, he ran the appropriate blood tests, liver function tests, everything was normal, right where it should be.  Jeff met us there and we talked to the vet together, and it was decided by general consensus that stress had brought this seizure on.  Most likely we’d never see another one… 80% of dogs seize at some point in their lives. We learn what we should do, should it happen again…cover her up, put her in a dark area, talk to her, and try and remain calm… No matter how scary it looks to us, they are ok.  Sure.

Jeff took Zeta home that weekend… it was a bonding time for Miller and I…the first time we’d ever been by ourselves, without another dog in the house. Zeta came back the following Monday, and for the next few weeks she was ok. 

Not since that first seizure have I slept soundly… like the “pre-seizure” days… every movement, every sound, wakes me in a startled mode… expecting the monster to have returned to visit again.

In August, the visit came. This time the thrashing was bad enough she’d fallen off the bed near the wall, knocked a lamp over and broke it… I tried to get her out of the wedge she’d put herself in… this time, I still cried but was a little bit more “together”…  Again she wet herself… but she knew me when she “woke” this time… there was no growling or running… we again went to the Emergency Vet… and then slept the rest of the night on the living room floor…  The next day our regular vet suggested medicating her… the meds he suggested would damage her liver over time… we might be looking into her eyes and only see a blank looking expression looking back while she adjusted.

Jeff and I consulted and opted not to do that, and we’d try some natural remedies. This time she made it two days and had another seizure…by this one I’d switched sides of the bed after 30+ years of sleeping on the left, I was now resting on the right…so that if she had another seizure, she’d not get wedged at least.

I find an Epilepsy dog list online, while reading everything I could find about Epilepsy in canines… I read the stories everyone has to share…things that can trigger a seizure, foods to eliminate…etc. etc. I learn Occular Compression… and we start doing it religiously before bedtime… it clears the brain, and can stop seizures…

In September, we went seizure free!  I was so excited, thinking, we’d beat it!

In October, the first visit came that was seen by my daughter, Zeta had been in her crate, Abbie heard noises and went to check on her… and called me immediately at work.  I rushed out of the office, and by the time I made it home… Zeta was coming around, and Abbie was shaken up.  Again to the vet we went… again, there’s nothing they could do… there are meds… No.

October also started another phase of “Idiopathic Epilepsy”, what she’d been diagnosed with… clusters.

She’d had a seizure at night (most of them are at night…) I was getting used to them now… we had our routine… seizure, deal, sleep on the living room floor and Zeta slept on the couch, until she settled enough we could both go back to bed.  I left her, the next morning as I only had to work half a day… I came home at noon, her crate was wet, she was daized…saliva was tried across her face,  I tried to tell myself she’d just had an accident, it hadn’t been what I knew it was. I took her to the grocery store with me…she put her chin on my shoulder and I noticed, her face was swelling… great.

She’d cut herself in the crate during the day’s visit… she still bares the scar from her bottom lip across 75% of her chin, it’s a nasty one, bare, no hair will grow there again I’m sure.

I left her with my daughter, and went to the vets…sadly reporting another seizure had happened…my vet just looks down…he knows what needs to be started but won’t push me…  I start home, and get a call on my cell, she’s having another one…

That’s three within about 18 hours… I get home, give her rescue remedy and we wait… for the next visit.  It doesn’t come that day, but I know it will.  As the vet said, once the door has been opened, it’s just easier and easier for the brain to seize.

The next bout was worse…We start PB.  There’s nothing else we can do.  I don’t think Jeff’s real pleased with my decision.  But there was nothing else I could do.

We started with 65 mg twice a day, another seizure within two weeks… ok, 97.5 mg twice a day… Zeta’s giving me that blank stare I’ve heard about, and acting starved all the time.  I’m weepy, I’m daized… I’m sad.

By this time, every time Jeff see’s my name pop up on his cell phone, he’s saddened.  Every time he emails to check on her, I don’t have good news, and he’s considering his options.  I jump and am nervous at any “not normal” thing Zeta does… but do I even know what normal is anymore?  We sleep with a towel in the bed in case she looses control of her bladder, we sleep with her homeopathic drops and rescue remedy next to the bed also, Abbie knows exactly what the problem is if she hears me calling for her during the night.  Things have changed.

An eye opener.

Life if short, you’d better enjoy it, and cherish the time it allows you.  You never know when you number is going to be called or one of someone that you love.

It was an abnormally warm November this Fall.  I left for the laundry mat… I make quilts… and this was needed to go as it was bigger then my machine at home could wash…or maybe I just needed to get out of the house.

I forgot my cell phone, but when I realize I have, I don’t think much about it.  As I sat watching the colors go round and round in the large capacity washer… my mind thinks of all the things that have happened this year… I’ve lost two of my family members, and wonderful person I used to work with and my sense of security.  I transferred the quilt to the dryer… and watched for a while.  

For some reason, I decided I’d go home and come back and pick it up…

Pulling up in front of my house, my daughter rushed out the door… “I tried everything mom… she won’t stop”… I start to run.

Zeta standing wobbling in the living room, her eyes are trying to focus in on me but it proves harder then she things and she bangs into the bookshelves as she maneuvers towards me.  Saliva covers her head and face in stripes…  Abbie tells me what time she started with the first seizure… (we have this down now also, we take notes, date/time/length/abnormalities…) she said she’s been having them constantly with no time in between.  She tried to call our friend, she tried covering her up, tried OC compressions and put her in the bathroom, the darkest room of the house… at one point she admits she thought Zeta was dead…

Zeta’s daized but clearly happy to see me.  I call the emergency vet…they start to tell me what I need to do and she starts another seizure…  We take her in… (Abbie missed saying good bye to Grayce and Rachel and she’s afraid this is it for Zeta, and wants to be there) when we get there, I carry her in, flashes of carrying Rachel in flood my memory and I start to cry… we sit on the floor in the lobby and the vet administers a rather strong shot of PB and in addition to what she’s already had that day, we’re told she should be groggy the rest of the day.  If we see full blown GM seizures again bring her back.

The rest of the day is spent on the couch with a sleeping girl, who twitches ever so often…who has trouble standing up… who wants nothing of the cookies that are offered.  Who has to be carried and walked outside on a lead, so she doesn’t wander off… When I look at her, Zeta’s not in there… I’m devastated.

We go to bed, and sleep for a little while.. Every time she twitches or moves or raises her head I do OC… then I realize in the wee hours of the morning I’m doing this about every 15 minutes and I’m doing it because she’s having seizures… I call the Emergency vet… I wake up Abbie we get dressed and go.  It’s the vet that took care of the girls, if I have to say goodbye I’m prepared.  He says how saddened he is that I’m going through this.

He gives her another injection of PB…and she starts pacing only to the right, unsteadily… He asks if she always does this… I said no, it just started after this last set of seizures.

He looks worried and looks away, I tell him to just tell me the truth.  He tells me of a Shepard patient that had seizures… that paced only to the right… when the dog had a CT ran, they found a lima bean sized tumor, not removable… eventually they had to let it go. He suspects possibly brain damage.

When she was diagnosed with Idiopathic Epilepsy it was because she was so young… dogs younger then 5, have Idiopathic Epilepsy, dogs over 5 years old, usually have tumors… not 2.5 year olds.

We spend the next few sleepless hours at home… I’m at my vets at 7:30 am when they open… my face is swollen with tears, my eyes are red. The front desk women are distraught when then see me and give me hugs.

I tell my vet, I couldn’t leave her at home… but I have to go to work… he says of course she can stay… I feel better leaving her there, knowing that someone is there for her.  More blood work is ran to check her PB levels.

By this time, I've stopped calling Jeff each time she has a seizure. The decision has been made, she will live out her life, no matter how long or short that might be with me.

I do write to him, and my co-breeders to tell them what has happened. I get back a heartfelt email, stating how horrible it is that such bad things happen to such a sweet dog. He asks, when is enough, enough. My only answer is enough is when she's either in pain or when I look into her face, and Zeta's not there and I know she won't be coming back.

I call, and I get news that she’s sleeping soundly and they have had to actually touch her to get her to stir, to reassure themselves she’s ok…

I go and pick her up.  As I wait to talk to my vet, a vet tech I recognize comes out from the back with a daized and weaving Zeta on lead… she gives me hope by telling me that Zeta recognized my truck outside while pottying…  Zeta knows me…she is in there :o)

Zeta came home that day, we had instructions to “wait and see”. That’s much easier to say then do. Being not the same dog as she was just a few days earlier… she was restricted to pottying on a leash to avoid her wondering away, she continued pacing in circles (only to the right) which worried me. I started researching CT costs as when I’d asked my vet about the cost of one, he conveniently avoided giving me an answer… $400-$600 dollar…well, it’s something to save for.

Through the next few days, Zeta came around, I remember being quite excited to report to her doctor that she’d actually made two left turns purposely that morning, he agreed that was a good sign.

Within a week and half she was 99% her normal self. We suffered through occasional (ok more than occasional) accidents in the house and with the low therapeutic level in her blood results and the added amount to her PB dosage it was expected and regret tingly I had to start kenneling her again during the day while I am at work.

The week of December 14, brought ice and then snow… a school day called off and a weekend of fun.

Even though she’s “down” sometimes Zeta’s not out. Here are a few photos of our snowy weekend of fun we had. I was excited that it wasn’t interrupted by an unwelcomed visits!

While she still has seizures, with the addition of Homeopathic drops administered 4 times a day and the addition of Milk Thistle once a day they tend to be single events instead of continuous ones that go on from one hour to another.

Well, that was until yesterday, January 18, 2004.

Seizures come on so fast and so expectantly it’s amazes me that I ever leave the house.

Zeta and I had spent a somewhat quiet day at home, she was laying on me, as I lay on the couch and we were watching a movie. With her head on my heart all was quiet. Not sure why I did, but I looked down into her eyes and they were fixed and had darted off to one side… I called her name twice, no response.

By this time Miller knows there’s something wrong, he’s out of his chair, and in my face… I can see the plea in his eyes to help her…

Even though lately she’s gotten more aggressive with him, flea biting him, picking on him and generally being annoying to him, he care for her and is worried, he’s never taken the “get her while she’s down” attitude…it’s only concern.

I call for Abbie to get her drops… I have to call for her several times as she has a friend over… by the second call, Zeta’s arching, by the time Abbie gets into the room the ever more present scream is coming out of Zeta… she’s flipping while I’m trying to get up, she’s chomping her mouth, so I’m careful to stay out of it’s way… she grabs a mouth full of quilt and bares down, still moaning.

I hear Abbie say this is a bad one. They are all bad for me and could only be for Zeta as well. I tried OC but with her eyes open it’s hard, she starts to slow down and another starts but OC and drops quickly end it.

Afterward Zeta is blind, erratic and disoriented. More drops, more cookies, more drops… this time the short post seizure time isn’t short… she’s agitated for at least 30 minutes…and finally after coaxing she’s back on the couch exhausted. Miller is now in Abbie’s room, he’s be anxious and won’t settle, causing Zeta to be anxious…for now they need to be apart.

The rest of the night is calm, she eats her dinner, receives her nightly meds and all is good. I’m disappointed it’s less then 15 days since the last visit.

Night comes and it’s bed time. Zeta’s exhausted and quickly settles into bed, she’s a little agitated by the noises of giggles and laughter coming from Abbie’s room. We finally fall asleep, I wake to a fruity smell waifing through the room, and get up…Zeta’s smell sensitive I think and what have the girls been doing.

I open the door to Abbie’s room and get a blast of fruit smelling body spray so think it could knock a person down… an open window sucking in cold winter air via the attic fan is the only solution. An hour later the smell is still there but considerably lighter.

Crawling back into bed Zeta snuggles in and we sleep…I’m woke by movements and sounds several times…but all is good.

2:30 am, the bed shutters, I wake just in time to feel Zeta’s head arch back and a cry and paddling… I call for Abbie, the second time she come in with drops in her hand… again OC stops a second seizure from coming full strength and Zeta has saliva thrown all over the room, she’s pacing blindly, running headfirst into things. I can’t decide if holding her against her will is worse on her then hitting walls and doors… approximately 45 minutes later, and several more doses of drops and an additional dose of PB I force her to come to bed and she amazingly come to rest inside the crook of my legs and falls asleep.

The night was quiet after that. But I’m exhausted this morning and an hour late getting to work.

Financial constraints will make a blood workup have to wait until the end of the month. I’m considering a raw diet again… Zeta really liked the chicken the last time around, but veggies weren’t her cup of tea, so someone has recommended veggie burgers… that’s a great idea, but I have to check the ingredients first… we try to avoid all grains…

There are times that I won’t forget in my life. Good and bad. I tell Zeta, Miller and Abbie (and yes, even Josie, the cat no one realizes I have) that I love them more then I probably did in the past.

I consider each day, good or bad that I have with Zeta a blessing. She’s such a sweet girl, even when she’s making Miller cry :o) and ripping the stuffing out of babies that are meant to be nursed.

I keep reminding myself, we aren’t given more then we can handle.

Sent By Stacy Garvin (Epi Dog List): January 19, 2004

A quotation from Francis de Sales.

(I will continue to document our trials with living with Epilepsy as time allows.  Please feel free to contact me with any questions that you might have regarding this horrible decease that invades without warning.)

I start writing these sections on whims… it’s a good thing that I hate actually writing on paper, because I’d be up all night. No computer at home leaves me limited time to actually put my thoughts down on paper. I’m going to try and put in the good with the bad, not only the bad…and if I start to wander then someone email me and tell me to stop, please.

Epilepsy can be one of the most frightening, dis-heartening experiences that a person can go through. It doesn’t matter if it’s your spouse, parent, child or beloved family pet who suffers from this.

Since July when Zeta was first hit, and August when she was diagnosed, I’ve searched far an wide for information on Epilepsy. I’ve found numerous “triggers”, numerous reasons and medications to give. I’ve yet to find a concrete reason to my “why” but I was lucky enough to find a great group online that are going through the same thing I am now. Some have battled this thing for years, and we aren’t just talking 2 or 3. Even my vet’s dog is afflicted.

Many will refer to the seizures as fits or visits… So when here the monsters returned…it not an ex-boyfriend, husband or wife… it’s the epilepsy monster…

I never had a “monster under the bed” as a child, but because Zeta’s mostly affected at nighttime, I think I do now. Does anyone know any good exterminators? :o)

Home

All graphics, content and photographs within this site are property of
A. Eichholz, do not reproduce without written consent.