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| THE WEEK IN PICTURES |
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| Hosers everywhere are thrilled as Canada finally gets power. |
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| In an effort to keep its soldiers more drunk, the Navy invents newer and bigger funnels. |
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| Cashing in on the energy saving craze, PlaySkool unveils its first car for adults. |
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| In a drunken craze, Queen Elizabeth orders her soldiers to open fire on civilians in a London suburb. |
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| Like all New Yorkers, Don Zimmer admires Joe Torre's balls. |
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| Another great summer at camp begins for children everywhere. |
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| Dick Cheney refutes a claim by the Dalai Lama saying "There can only be one Ultimate Fighting Champion, and it is I, Dick Cheney. I'm Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney, all you other Dick Cheneys are just imitating. Won't the real Dick Cheney please stand up? Please stand up? |
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| The Dalai Lama counters by saying he will crush Cheney "like ladybug in my fingers. Punk ass white boy be going down." |
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| Bill Clinton fulfills a childhood dream by appearing in the Mt. Taylor High School production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. |
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| Al Gore kicks off his 2004 Presidential campaign by unveiling his new logo and slogan, "Trust In Al." |
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| Colorado Avalanche defenseman Ray Bourque vows to choke center Joe Sakic to death if he does not win the Stanley Cup. |
| Arkansas resident Larry Franklin celebrates moving into a new apartment with bratwurst and Olde English. |
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| BLESS YOU, MR. PRESIDENT |
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| At a Redwood National Forest speech, Bush tells Forest Service workers "National Forests are our most valued and cherished source of firewood and toothpicks. Your guarding them from Russian attack takes great courage." |
| True to his word, Bush's plan of oil drilling off the coast of Florida is barely noticeable and environmentally friendly. |
| Religious leaders are stunned as Bush finds a tablet of five new commandments on a routine trip to Montana. |
| The Week in Pictures 5/17 (No Nudes) |