When Jesus says: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” It is a powerful reminder of God’s presence in our lives. But the section before and the section just after speak to another constant in our lives: conflict. There was conflict when Jesus walked on earth, and there is not a single generation since that has been spared.

Jesus here is offering us advice on how to deal with conflict in our communities, within our families. The passage, as we heard it read today, began: “If another member of the church...” A more accurate translation would be “If a brother sins…” It was changed from brother to be more inclusive of women. But in any translation, the spirit is this: Someone you have an intimate relationship with; this is someone you care about.

This lesson is about how to restore a broken friendship. This is not about relationships where abuse or violence threatens our personal safety.

Jesus first instructs his audience about reconciliation. We are to confront those who sin against us, and ask them to repent—to express some regret or remorse. It is in this difficult moment of confrontation that Jesus will be present to us. Jesus goes on to talk about forgiveness—giving up one’s resentment. The reading for today actually ends before Peter asks Jesus about forgiveness. But these two topics: reconciliation and repentance, and forgiveness—they cannot be separated. When we talk about one, we must consider the other.

None of us is exempt from this work. I know I can only truly speak for myself, but… well, I’m not perfect. And not all my relationships are without conflict.

I play on a volleyball team. It’s the first time I’ve played with this particular group of guys. And we have a tournament next weekend. Two weeks ago, a few of us were practicing together and I could sense that something was up. Two of the guys were being extremely buddy-buddy, to the point that they were running plays and making jokes with each other. They were boxing me out of the game; I felt as if they didn’t want me on their team anymore. It was fifth grade gym all over again, and I was the last scrawny kid to be picked for dodge ball.

And I admit it; I didn’t follow Jesus’ three-step program to reconciliatory success. I didn’t say anything. I just got mad, played horribly, and went home angry.

But Jesus instructs us to do something else. Jesus tells us that we should confront our brother or sister who sins against us—face-to-face. Jesus doesn’t say “accuse” or “demand reparations.” No, Jesus just says: “go and point out the fault.”

Jesus wants us to simply open the door so that our friend—for this is someone we care about—so they may take responsibility. And when they take responsibility, we can forgive them easily with an open heart. And we gain back that friend.

Sounds great, doesn’t?

But which one of you likes confrontation? Which of us wants to take that annoying co-worker or that manipulative friend and initiate confrontation?

Not. Me.

We don’t like confrontation. We’re afraid that if we open our heart, bare our soul to our friend, they’ll just blow us off. We will be crushed. They won’t take responsibility. They’ll just get defensive and angry at us for “accusing” them. And we’ll be left feeling more hurt and hollowed out than before.

Jesus—with his God-like patience—doesn’t let us off the hook with that first attempt. The legal requirement in that time was to gather two witnesses. But I suspect we gather these witnesses for support as much as for anything else—and we return for a second attempt at confrontation. Maybe the extra people create a little pressure. But we’re still afraid that our friends will just dig their heels in deeper, become more defensive. “What’s your problem? Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

And again, Jesus tells us to return. This time, in front of the whole congregation, in front of everyone! And a third time we are dismissed. “Build a bridge and get over it, already!”

So what do we do? If on the third time, our friend still does not take responsibility for the sins they have committed against us, what do we do? How can this relationship survive?

When dismissed three times by someone, Jesus tells us to treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector. They are a “worthless friend.” A relationship cannot function without both the reconciliation or repentance of the other and the inner forgiveness in our hearts.

Let’s us turn to Peter’s question: “They aren’t the least bit sorry, am I really supposed to forgive them as much as seven times?” Jesus answers: “Not seven times, seventy-seven times.”

Typically we don’t offer our forgiveness unless the other person repents or admits fault. It is not always going to be that our comrade takes responsibility for his or her actions. But we are not let off the hook here either; we must still work towards that inner change of heart.

If reconciliation is the call to repentance, that demand of someone to take responsibility, then forgiveness is that change of heart, our ability to be open to someone else’s repentance.

Right now, that friend may not be able to see what they have done wrong. But we must work to regain the love we had for them so that, in 5 years when they come to us and say: “Damn, I see what I did, now.” We can hear that and respond: “Yeah, I know. Let’s go have dinner and talk.”

“Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

When I hear these words, now, I no longer focus on the “among”—on the abiding presence of Jesus—but now I focus on the “gathered”—on the face-to-face work of reconciliation that we are called to do. Jesus is assuring us that he will be with us, but is ultimately calling us to do some really tough work.

Getting back to my teammate, I admit I skipped the confrontation part. I went right to the forgiveness. I knew that my frustration wasn’t going to help us play better next weekend. So I have been praying every night for a change of heart, for the strength to forgive him, to love him again.

And Jesus, here, is telling me I missed something. I missed the possibility of having a closer relationship with my friend. I missed the chance to let him know something about me, and for me to learn something about him. I was too afraid to open up.

Jesus does not claim this is easy, but demands it of us nonetheless. The work of reconciliation and forgiveness in our local communities is, after all, practice for what we do on the larger scale.

[big pause]

This Wednesday is the year anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11th. Part of the reason that these attacks are so painful and so difficult to let go of is that there is no one to confront, no one to take responsibility. And I think we all feel in our stomachs that if we had the chance to confront Osama Bin Laden or whomever, we’re afraid they would dismiss us. This is our fear.

This week, I invite you to gather—with friends, with enemies, with someone. Take the time to be quiet. To listen for God’s presence in the midst of conflict—global or local. Know that God is in the work of reconciliation and forgiveness.

We may not always be able to do it. It may be too soon to talk about reconciliation and forgiveness in connection with September 11th. The global atmosphere that produces war and terror is far more complex than one innocent victim and one guilty sinner. There are some acts that strike too close to our hearts for us to forgive; there are some for which repentance is not enough.

But we are called to that struggle, to that work of reconciling and forgiving, to that work of repenting and seeking forgiveness. That is where God is.

Our faith is not about revenge. Our faith is about reconciliation. About repentance; about forgiveness. About grace.

And when two or three, or five, or fifty, or five-thousand are gathered and engaged in this work, there God will be.

This is the Good News… and our task.