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Guru Al's Autobiography

- a short memoir


Born and raised on a farm on the Nullarbor Plain, I learnt a valuable lesson at an early age, when my parents turned to me and said, "Go away, we don’t like you."

It had been hard for them though. The farm had never, to their confusion, been prosperous. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that the ‘soil’ was as hard as a rock, and it rained rarely. But I offer the explanation that it was because my Father had lost the spirit for farming.
Anyway, I took heed of their advice, knowing that they did love me and were only trying to ‘push me out of the nest’. They must have cared about me greatly; the things they did for me showed their immense affection. One of my earliest memories is of my father leaving me stranded 20km from home in the middle of the day, while he drove off home for lunch. Looking back I know that he was just trying to build in me a sense of independence.

So at the age of six I left home. I could hear the voices of my parents behind me, "And don’t come back," they called encouragingly. I rode south on my little bicycle, from the moment the sun went down until it came up the next day. I had managed to make it all the way to the Eyre Highway, and the tiny town of Eucla, population under 200.

There I met two people, Lem and Betty Parker. They were heading to Perth and offered to give me a lift. That lift was possibly the most influential car ride of my life. I with lived the Parkers for the next ten years of my life. My home with Lem and Betty was a mystical place, a strange haze filling each room, bringing to me an odd feeling of security and comfort. I met many effectual souls during my stay with Lem and Betty Parker. Each person had an enigmatic view on the world, a brilliantly conceived ideal, which they believed everyone should exist in. There were many theories proposed as to how peace on Earth could be created.

I will never forget what Lem once said. "Such a Pretty Butterfly." At the time he was holding the cat, upside down, in one hand. If only we all had this optimistic view of the world. What I think Lem was really trying to say was that everything is beautiful. I’m inclined to agree.

They opened my eyes to who I really am. I, ladies and gentlemen, am the saviour of the world. More or less. And from the age of sixteen I travelled around, promoting a clean, morally correct life.

It is my duty to inform everyone, of the dangers of the modern world. And that I shall do. As soon as I finish this gin and tonic.


©1998 GuRu inc.