ROUND TWO

PEAT: Spidey would spank that boy's ass! Then he's tak that cosmic rod and shove it where the sun don't shine. Starman ain't no Firelord, dude.

CRAIG: Yeah. Jack can kick ass, but I think Spidey would take him with both webshooters broken.

PEAT: Hmmm. Tough call, but I'll say Green Arrow. Just cuz' Hawkeye is a dork, and when he takes his mask off, he looks indistinguishable from Captain America.

CRAIG: Well, if we're talking Golden/Silver Age Green Arrow, I'd say they're both twits and to hell with them. But if we're talking Mike Grell's Green Arrow, I think ol' Clint would get fucked so fast he wouldn't know which got more shaft--the arrows or his ass!

PEAT: Another tough one. I'd give the edge to WW, because she can fly, and has that unbreakable lasso. She's also supposed to be nearly as strong as Superman, which puts her a tad over the She-hulk's limit. In a straight punch-out though, it would take a while for WW to pull ahead, and neither of them would be too pretty afterward.

CRAIG: Yeah, I agree. I just love the idea of she Hulk talking trash to WW while they fight.

CRAIG: Oh, Peat, I'm not even going to dignify this one with a response. . . .

PEAT: Well, Death's main thing is making people, well, die. Lady Death is already dead. That's how she got to hell. She seems to have a lot more flamboyant magics than Death, too. And she has GIANT tits, which is not to be ignored. Still, Death is one of the Endless, and can never be truly destroyed. In the end, it had to go to the D family, again.

CRAIG: Yeah. I can see Death kinda looking at Lady Death and going "You're kidding, right? Aren't you cold in that get-up?"

CRAIG: Oooh. Hmmm . . . I'd say Jubilee 'cause she's got more experience, but Jolt seems more mature and would probably out-think her.

PEAT: BB: Better body, hair, super powers, costume, and sleeps around more. Also, actually SCORES with the heroes she goes after.
CW: Has whip.
Hmmmm. Tough choice, but I think I'm going with the Black Cat.

CRAIG: I dunno. Don't forget her super powers nearly killed Peter. And the way Jim Balnet draws CW, I think she takes the 'body" category. And, like you said, she's got the whip. I'm gonna have to give this one to CW.

PEAT: I like Jim Balent, but BC has the cleavage showing, which is key. She also altered her powers, so they don't cause bad luck to her friends anymore. I think she's slinkier, and more trampy, which I like. CW has no powers at all. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.

CRAIG: AH HA HA HA HA HA!!
Come on, Like Katchoo could ever hit Francine!

PEAT: Hand to hand? Katchoo and her nose-grip of death. With guns? Tulip all the way.

CRAIG: I dunno. Katchoo kicked the shit out of enough alarm clocks, and was half-sleepwhile doing it. . . .

CRAIG: Bats. 'Cause lets face it, no matter how good TM is, EVERYONE kicks his ass in the end anyway.

PEAT: Fair enough. . . .

CRAIG: BWAH HA HA HA!!! Sorry, Peat, but Patti would get STOMPED by Tulip! Although they'd probably be great friends. . . .

PEAT: I dunno. Patti can be pretty fiesty.

CRAIG: But Tulip's a goddess. I'm sorry. Tulip, hands down. Besides Tulip knows how to use a gun.

PEAT: Mister Fantastic, because he's smarter and has all thos gadjets. Also, Plastic Man hangs out with that Hawaiian guy who always brings bad luck. It would be a funny fight to watch, though.

CRAIG: I think I'd agree. But I can see Plastic Man making jokes all the while, which would probably piss Reed of supreamely. . .

PEAT: My question is, whose wife would you rather have? Penny is hotter, I think, but Sue Richard's invisibility powers could be REALLY useful, especially if she could be turned to the dark (or at least dimly lit and mischevious) side.

CRAIG: Ugh, I don't remember what Penny looks like, not that I'd have any problem settling for Sue; dunno about her powers being an asset sexually; seems to me with her powers A) if she didn't want any you'd NEVER be able to find her, and B) she could easily satisfy herself.
Um, this conversation is getting really scary now. . .

PEAT: You're on crack. She can make stuff invisible! Think of the possibilities, man! For voyeuristic uses alone, that power is priceless, not to mention all the other shit you could pull. And that's not even mentioning the force fields...

CRAIG: What possibilities? Invisible panties? Try and screw her and realize she's still got her Hanes on? Yeah, that's fun. And a force field . . . well, that would be one hell of a blow job, then. And she'd never have to worry about swallowing. . . .

PEAT: She can turn OTHER stuff invisible, as in other people clothes, other people's walls, doors, etc. Her and Reed could watch how Vision and Scarlet Witch do it without being caught, or see the Hulk without his pants (good thing Reed can stretch or she'd probably dump him after that...), the possibilities are endless.

CRAIG: OK. Well, if guess if your into that voyuer thing. CHECK PLEASE!

PEAT: Ghost rider is cooler, but Deadman is the servant of a higher power. I'd say Deadman. Also, doesn't Ghost Rider turn back into Johnny Blaze during the day? I forget.

CRAIG: Well, I was thinking of the Dan Ketch GR, and even then the really cool one from the first year and a half of the series; not the geek he became shortly thereafter. And that being the case, since GR was portrayed as this unstopable juggernaught of vengeance, I'd have give the edge to GR. 'Cause no matter how Deadman tried to hide, GR would just plow through whatever was in his way and nail 'em with his pennance stare...