Real News: Phil the Janitor Spotted Ireland
Dublin, Ireland, Today a local sheep herder said that he saw Phil the Janitor in the outskirts of Dublin. Phil is mostly known as the man who killed the great Herman Golly and shooter of Henry King. This is the 312th time someone has seen Phil the Janitor in the Europe area but the NATO authorities are so stupid that they can not find him. Some day we will get him and he will pay for killing the great Herman Golly and hurting my Henry King one day.
Celebrity Chat w/James W.
Christiansen
"Guest: David Duchovney"
This is yet another great column of the Great Celebrity Chat today we will be talking to the Star of the hit television show X-Files which aires 9:00pm Sundays on the Fox network, David Duchovney. Hello David Duchovney David Duchovney" Hello James how are you? Oh I'm just great, and how are you? David Duchonvey " I'm also great you know that my wife had a baby" I know it was all over the news. David Duchovney " She did have a baby" Yeah yeah I know now what do you think will happen in the the Season Finale of your show this year? David Duchovney " She had a baby Girl!" That's it you need to leave I hate the X-Files and you so you just get out, David "JERKLE" Oh you're asking for it!
Happy Thought's
"Being Rich"
The great thing about money is that you can buy anything. Once about 3 months ago I went to Vietnam and bought a small vietnamese child for only $50.00 it was the most fun I have ever had in my life, and now the little ingrateful brat is working in my Casino. YES! Happy the Clown owns a Casino, it is in Catrima-LAlaruge South Carolina. You should all
Traveling the World
"MonZeekastan"
Hello this is another edition of Traveling the World, I am in the great city of MonZee.........MonZeek..............Whatever this dumps name is. This is the worst place I have ever been to and this will be the shortest column ever because I think I just contracted the Ebola Virus GOODBYE!
Odd's
"Special Commentary from Leann Crandell"
Hello this is a special column because I, Leann
Crandell, get a chance to write about my unlikely enemy Phil the Janitor.
I likes Phil before but when he tried to kill me because of my hair color
it upset me and just mad me really mad. But as long as he it out
of prison he can still hurt someone or even me, but I have.........."Bang
Clang" Oh no, it couldn't be? Unknown " It is just me James, Leann, I thought
I would come say..BANG BANG!" Oh my god who is that in the shadow with
the gun? Mystery " You will soon see" WHAT DO YOU WANT? Mystery
" YOU, Leann your life as you know it is over....................................................................."
(To Be Continued)
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Announcement: Henry The Hobo has
Announcement: The Lee
done it again in another round of good
Norris Newsletter is end-
luck Henry the Hobo won $350,000,
ing July 27th, 2000 but
000 in the Chinese Real Estate lottery
expect to read more from
He was reported as saying, big flippen
the creators of LNN, such
deal I'm already a billionaire and I
as a new book and a mini-
could buy anyone of you, and you can
series that will elapse over
take that to the very wealthy bank that the
course of 8 months
I am about to buy So read on!
Next Issue "Hostile Frontier, part II": The Search for
Leann and James's Shooter begins, with the help of a special guess and
one of the 3 main Characters dies!
The End Of Stupidity Has Begun!