Previously In the Lee Norris Newsletter.....
Real News: Today a local sheep herder said that he saw Phil the Janitor in the outskirts of Dublin.  Phil is mostly known as the man who killed the great Herman Golly and shooter of Henry King........
Celebrity Chat--- today we will be talking to the Star of the hit television show X-Files which aires 9:00pm Sundays on the Fox network, David Duchovney.  Hello David Duchovney David Duchovney" Hello James how are you?  Oh I'm just great, and how are you?  David Duchonvey " I'm also great you know that my wife had a baby"...............
Happy Thought's---The great thing about money is that you can buy anything.  Once about 3 months ago I went to Vietnam and bought a small vietnamese child for only $50.00
Odd's----Hello this is a special column because I, Leann Crandell, get a chance to write about my unlikely enemy Phil the Janitor......"Bang Clang" Oh no, it couldn't be? " It is just me James, , I thought I would come say..BANG BANG!" Oh my god who is that?  Mystery " You will soon see"  WHAT DO YOU WANT? Mystery " YOU, Leann your life as it has been is over....................................................................."
(To Be Continued)

And Now the Continuation...

Real News: James Christiansen Shot, Leann Crandell Kidnapped!

         Oregon City, Oregon, Yesterday at 12:08 am a mysterious man shot James W. Christiansen in the back and then proceeded to attack Leann Crandell and kidnapped her.   Most everyone involved believe it is the work of the evil Phil the Janitor, who shot Herman Golly and Henry King last january.  No leads to the kidnapper have been found other than mysterious Triple Chocolate Chip cookie crumbs everywhere around the crime scene.  The entire cast along with me John Bobeck, and even Dom Findobo who was layed off until the next season came out to look for Leann.  But no leads have yet surfaced.

Phil the Janitor Dies!
 

         Phil the Janitor was found dead in a hotel in Maupin, putting down the rumor that he was in Europe.  It seems by the witnesses that someone with another shorter woman like person tied up in the car entered the hotel room and a couple of shots were fired and the man ran out.  The shooting was at approximately 2:30am.  No clues to this shooting have been found yet other than Chocolate Cookie Crumbs and a piece of Lint.  It looks as if we have two mysteries on our hands, Who's Doing This?

Odd's, part II
Leann and Mystery Man

         Who are you? And what do you want with me? Mystery " Oh nothing, but you will pay for September 17, 1999"  What are you talking about?  Mystery " You know what I mean, I offered you a triple chocolate chip cookie and you just said, (NO Thanks I'm on a Diet).  I Remember that day, but Phil/You were not working that day, WAIT! that means that you are , OH DEAR LORD!  Mystery  "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
 

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Real News: Henry King Wakes Up

        Oregon Health Science University, Portland Oregon,  Today in a shocking turn of events again, The ex-owner of the Lee Norris Newsletter Henry King came out of his coma.  Henry King you have been in a coma for 9 months after Phil the Janitor Shot you and Killed Herman Golly in cold blood just to kill the meaningless Leann Crandell last September.   Henry " WHAT! what do you mean Phil Shot me?"  Well he admitted to shooting you and was sentenced to life inprisonment until he broke out.  Henry " You don't understand Phil didn't shoot me, Dom Findobo Did!"   What?
Henry " Yes Dom shot me I saw him with the gun right before he began to fire"  Where is Dom now?   Andrez " He's out looking for Leann"  We have to find him...........
(To Be Continued.........)
 

    Next Issue "Hostile Frontier, part III": Another Search for the true killer Dom Findobo and again start the search for the Prisoner Leann Crandell and the other 2 of the 3 main Characters will die fighting for Leann, what a waste! and also Next Issue a tribute to Henry the Hobo leading up to the final Henry the Hobo Ad.