Previously In the Lee Norris Newsletter.....

Real News: Leann Crandell Kidnapped.. Yesterday at 12:08 am a mysterious man shot James W. Christiansen in the back and then proceeded to attack Leann Crandell and kidnapped her, no leads have yet surfaced...........
Phil The Janitor Dies.. Phil the Janitor was found dead in a hotel in Maupin, putting down the rumor that he was in Europe........It looks as if we have two mysteries on our hands, Who's Doing This?......
Odd's, part II........Who are you? And what do you want with me? Mystery " Oh nothing, but you will pay for September 17, 1999"    I Remember that day, but Phil/You were not working that day, WAIT! that means that you are , OH DEAR LORD!  Mystery  "HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA"......
Henry King Wakes Up!......Oregon Health Science University, Portland Oregon,  Today in a shocking turn of events again, The ex-owner of the Lee Norris Newsletter Henry King came out of his coma......Henry " You don't understand Phil didn't shoot me, Dom Findobo Did!"   What?...... Where is Dom now?   Andrez " He's out looking for Leann"  We have to find him...........
(To Be Continued.........)

And Now the Final Conclusion to Hostile Frontier.........

Real News: The Search for Dom and Leann

 It has been a week since Henry King woke up from his coma and announced that Phil the Janitor did not kill Herman and shot him, it was actually Dom Findobo.  The Hunt for Leann Crandell and the evil Dom Findobo has begun and spread all over the world.  fidel Castro has returned to the Lee Norris Newsletter once again to aid in the search for the two on the run.  Many leads have surfaced, but no real evidence has been found to their whereabouts.  The search will not end until both the murderer and Leann are found.

Cubism w/ fidel Castro
 

 HELLO...........................Yes I am back again, you thought me left you are very stupid moron.  Well anyway I have come back to help my good friend Dom Findobo and that Horse, oh I mean that woman in which he supposedly kidnapped, Leann Crandell.  Personally I think Leann Crandell is to blame.  She was always flurting with him and than telling him he was a good writer, in fact I think Leann kidnapped Dom and she shot that idiot Henry King.  I say "Run Dom Run".

Odd's, part III
Leann and Mystery Man

 Leann "I can't believe that you would do something like shoot Herman and Henry, Why would you do something like that?" Dom "I hate Henry, and I thought Herman was a idiot" Leann "You are insane and I want you to die"....Dom "WHAT WAS THAT?" Police outside Cave "This is the North Haberbrook police department let Leann go and surrender yourself now you have 1 minute..." fidel "Dom, surrender the dumb woman and save yourself"  Dom " We will run, farther and farther into the Cave."  Andrez " You cannot escape from me...!*"  Bang Bang (From a large Gun) HAHAHA Andrez" I shall get you even as you get farther and farther" BANG BANG Andrez "JA I shot him run Andrea, now to finish the job" BANG BANG BANG BANG"  (Rumbling from the walls of the Cave) Andrez "What the heck.......NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BANG Crush Crunch splat (in the cave) Leann " Andrez, NOO get out of the cave now, oh no!"

Dom Findobo & Andrez Muesky Die in Cave-in!

 Today just outside the small town of Twalla, Wyoming, while the local police was trying to talk the kidnapper Dom Findobo out of a very large cave, a large cave in killed him and another columnists from the Lee Norris Newsletter, Andrez Muesky.  The only one to survive the cave in was Leann Crandell who was rescued right before a pile of rocks landed on top of the two men.  A memorial service was set up for Dom by an unknown Person, because Andrez had no Kids (Hint for future issue) or family, a local drunk has offered to pay his funeral costs, but I would like to ad, HE JUST FREAKED PEOPLE OUT!

Ads
"Dedicated to Henry the Hobo"

Season One:
Wanted free money for beer and smokes please contact Henry the hobo at Dumpster 207.
Season Three
Announcement: Henry the hobo and Loletta the lounge singer are happy to announce that they will be getting married in 2 weeks at the roseburg mission.  These  two love birds will be living in Henry's Huge dumpster behind Safeway The wedding will be at 2:30 sometime next week.

Divorce Announcement: Henry the hobo and Loretta the lounge singer will be divorcing each other, when they can steal the $10 for the papers This hatred for each other came about when Henry wouldn't share his Dead Rat Stew with Loretta. It is sad This couple has only been together for 1 Month.
Season Four
Huge Announcement: Henry the Hobo struck it rich this week behind Safeway.  A five billion dollar oil pond has been found by
Henry's dumpster.  When we inquired about what he was going to do with his his money he said " I am going to get drunk."
Season Five
Announcement: Henry the Hobo's Garbage co is growing and
we need $$$ and Slaves, if interested call Garbage co. in
Maupin OR 1(503) 546-9984

Announcement: You can work at Dumpster Co. Henry the Hobo has openings for Washing out Dumpsters, and Pooper Scooper, if interested write to LNN.
 
 
 

Next Issue "Penumbra": The Cuban/Panamanian War ends, fidel Returns.  Bobot's son chats with James and a new show premieres Henry the Hobo's final Ad is Aired + only one more Issue until the Series Finale of LNN!