Real News: A Pack of Deermice attack a Pet Dog.
Sydney, Australia, In overseas news an old lay reported to the Australian authority that a pack of rabid deer mice attacked her Saint Bernard "Cranflabit" and carried him off to their hideout. A frantic search for the lovable dog is underway. A $1,000,000 bounty for anyone who kills any deer mice that are responsible for the attack. Hopefully Cranflabit will be found unharmed but the odds of such an event is unlikely, he has been missing for over 2 1/2 minutes and no leads have turned up. Hopefully he will be returned.
Happy Thought's
"Series Premiere: Driving an Expensive Car"
Welcome to the very first installment of my HAppy Thought's w/ me HAppy the Clown the famed writer of the great "Call me HAppy" book. Today I will be talking about the great feeling of driving a 2000 Dodge Viper GT Convertible. The great smell, the fast speed in fact I got up to 213 mph on the Autobahn in Germany in my great vipers. Sorry for you normal people you will never know the feeling and never will hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Celebrity Chat w/James Christiansen
"Guest: Bob Dole (R)"
Hello and welcome to
another grand segment of the great Celebrity Chat, I am your host James
W. Christiansen. Today we will be chatting with the 1996 Republican
Presidential Candidate Mr. Robert (Bob) Dole. Hello Bob Dole how
are you today? Bob " Bob Dole is fine, yes and Bob Dole does plan on running
for President again." OK! Anyway why did you Beautiful, gorgeous wife Mrs.
Elizabeth Dole drop out of the Presidential Running? Bob " Bob Dole told
her too, I will be president, that's all no more questions for Bob Dole."
Traveling the World
"Series Premiere:China"
Welcome to the very first Traveling the World, I am your host Fred McCody. Today I am writing to you from the Great Wall of China, he biggest craphole of China. This country does not have alot of Perks, there are vast amounts of good food, and different people although there are too many stupid people in the cesspool. I hate this country so as soon as I stop writing I am leaving in fact I'm leaving now.
Cubism w/fidel Castro
Hello this is fidel Castro again, I will talk about, yes you guessed itm my great country, CUBA! Panama tried to invade my beautiful country with the Evil Russia, but my great allies helped us out. Yes we have been secretly feeding them money for 33 years for a secret army to build up. There poor acting people is just a big act, they are actually quite wealthy. Well I have to talk to my advisors to wage an attack on Panama so I have to go, Me Gusta el Agua! and NoToya!
Ads
New Ads Issue #610
Help Wanted: Many Cats for Violen
Announcement: This is a
Strings, the fatter the better. Will pay
paid advertisement for POO
as much as $25.00 for one chunky of
County.... To all Joseph
fluffy, white cats. will pay up to
countyians we will soon
$50.00 for a big fat juicy black cat.
outnumber you and will
Contact Vivin Von Krumpton K-28
take all of your land, we do
at 2736546476 East K-River Blvd
not recognise your Puppet
Phone Number 222-p.
Government and it will
soon fall, be very WARRY!
Announcement: Henry King was shot
For Sale: Small Midget dog
and the legendary Herman Golly was
no use can talk, not good for
killed suppossedly by the great Phil
anything if interested, cont-
The Janitor. He was arrested but he
act Killer the Bird.
is the only one who can solve the
Announcement: You can
mystery of the shooting. And you
work at Dumpster Co.
can help free Phil, just contact the StJ
Henry the Hobo has open-
"Save the Janitor" website @ http
ings for Washing out Dum-
http:www.savephil/StJ/224/hitty/
psters, and Pooper Scooper,
BANG!!! if interested write to LNN.