Previously in the Lee Norris Newsletter: Port Orford, Ct.  In national news the famed Taco Bell dog (gidget) was walking down the street with his/her 4 security guards when suddenly, without warning 3 Blue Jays named Killer, Destroyer and Muffy swooped down and flew off with the famed star....A $2 reward is being offered to the capture of Killer, Destroyer, and Muffy, and a 36c taco is being offered to the person(s) who find Gidget.

And Now the Conclusion:

Real News: Taco Bell Dog "Gidget" Found!

         New York City, New York, Today in international news Gidget the Taco Bell dog was successfully broken out of captivity, that has lasted over 8 months.  His kidnappers Killer, Destroyer, and Muffy were captured last tuesday by the Animal Control Center in NY and interrogated for 5 days until they told officials that gidget was in a nest under a mother pigeon in Roseburg Oregon.  When asked about being held hostage gidget had this to say, "Chalupa, give me a Chalupa, come one people I need a Chalupa, or even a Gordita." Taco Bell said they are happy to have gidget back they were sick of that stupi cat anyway.

The Art of Sculpting Algae
"Rerun"

 Hello and welcome to another sculpting  column with the great Andrez Muesky.  The best way to sculpt algae is to add butter to the algae and begin turning the mixture on your sculpting table  and begin to mold.  About 3 days into the sculpting add some crocodile dung to add flavor.  When 8 weeks have passed than begin to mold into the shape of what you want.  When you are finished you should be molding the essence of me being that  I am the only one to have a column that has lasted 5 years.  You should honor me, all of you should honor me.

Great Things in Scottish History
"Ireland"

         This issue we will be talking about Ireland.  Yes!  Ireland was invented by the Scottish people along with the Irish Republic Army.  In the 1700's because Britain was attacking us we had to branch out to other countries.  When we entered Ireland, the people were just animals and we tamed them.  But then they turned there backs on us.  So when the Scottish people takeover the world the Irish will perish like the British.
 

  Traveling the World
"Zimbabwe"

         Today I'm writing you from the 4th world nation of Zimbabwe.  Although they do not have alot of money they have a beautiful country.  The trees, the hea, the beautiful stray cats and dogs that are eaten everyday.  Most of the people are beautiful people although they are ugly.  I have actually liked this country although it is rather stupid like china, god I hate china.  Oh well I have to catch a camel out to the Airport.  GOOD-BYE!

 Shinibart H12

         Shinibart has released their very first 2000 year model car, the H12, this car has everything a drunk person could want.  A refrigerator full of the finest beer, with several beer holders, a windshield that compensates for the drunks vision, along with what every drunk wants several bought out cops to tell everyone you're not drunk.  This car cost a whopping $128,049,902.21, and it is a 5 door coupe.

Ads
"New ads "

Help Wanted:One large chunk of                 Announcement:The planetary site
up the great Well Fargo trail.                       Chernobyl is now open for part-
This property has a great view of                  time living and working the 1st
a hay toilet.  The great Blair Wil-                  Reactor is still operating.  Russia/
ber is finally moving away and                      Ukraine needs money so buy a
needs someone to buy his prop-                  Beautiful chunk of the Radio-
erty if interested contact Blairs                     active forest on Chernobyl land
Family the Spaimones @ 225                      so buy now for only 8cents an
Rathbun Road                                             acre-call 1(800)Radioactive

Announcement: Henry King was shot          Wanted: New co-host for
and the legendary Herman Golly was           great column the Art of....
killed supposedly by the great Phil              Andrez Muesky is going
The Janitor.  He was arrested but he           on Vacation in 2 weeks
is the only one who can solve the                 for a couple of months
mystery of the shooting.  And you               and we need a replacement
can help free Phil, just contact the StJ         for the Idiot/ I mean the
"Save the Janitor" web site @ http                great man, if you are inter-
http:www.savephil/StJ/224/hitty/                  ested contact LNN Studios!
BANG!!!