Real News: The odd thing is........
Oregon City, Oregon, The odd this is there is nothing happening in this wacky world we live in. The world is calm other than the Cuba/Panama war. A massacre in Zimbabwe of 200 babies and other non important news in the world. This will probably the shortest Real News ever but there is nothing to talk about except my MR. Kitty. Sometimes when he's been bad I say "Bad Mr. Kitty" and I bop him on the head. I'm being told that no one cares about my Mr Kitty so I will end this column NOW!
Celebrity Chat w/ James W.
Christiansen
"Don King"
Welcome to another wonderful addition of the great Celebrity Chat. Today's special guest is the President of some boring boxing ring in Las Vegas, the great Don King. Hello Don, how are you and Mike Tyson? Don " I is great and Mike is great too, but we is mad that Mike cannot fight in Las Vegas anymore." Why is that? Don" They says that he cheated, theys have no proof." Ok but I saw him hit that guy after the bell what was th....... Don" He did not cheats, I tells ya, there is no proof that he did so, I am leaving." Wait don't leave, that's the 7th walk out this season, oh well I guess I will end this.
Great Things in Scotish History
"Sausage"
The Sausage was created in Scotland in 1872
when we's thought that a grinded pork meat would taste good wrapped in
a sheep intestine. And we were right they tasted great and we sold
them everywhere, even in Britain. But as soon as they had the recipe
they stole our idea and took our profits that's why the Scotish will destroy
them and the French along with them. Yes that is right the Scotish
people also despise the French too. We liked them when they were
always at war with Britain, but now that they are Allies we will kills
them all.
The Art of Sculpting
Hamburger Fat
"Classic Newsletter: Season 4 Finale"
Well the best way to sculpt Hamburger fat is to put in it the microwave machine and nuke it for 8 hours, then freeze it for 23 hours no more no less, this way it's plyable. Next you will need a hammer and a screwdriver. Begin chipping the fat 13 times a second until it is the way that you want it, and your done. I just thought I would tell you that I have just signed a 4 year contract with PNN so I will be in 4 more seasons, yippee.
Traveling the World
"Ural Mountains"
Hello and welcome to another great issue of Traveling the World, I am Fred McCody and today I am in the Ural Mountains in the Crappy Russia. Russia used to be a great Super-Power country but now the Russians are poor and are a 3rd world country. The Mts. are very crappy, and smoggy. I have never been to this country and will never come back so I am going to leave.
Ads
"New ads "
Help Wanted:One large chunk of
Announcement:The planetary site
up the great Well Fargo trail.
Chernobyl is now open for part-
This property has a great view of
time living and working the 1st
a hay toilet. The great Blair Wil-
Reactor is still operating. Russia/
ber is finally moving away and
Ukraine needs money so buy a
needs someone to buy his prop-
Beautiful chunk of the Radio-
erty if interested contact Blairs
active forest on Chernobyl land
Family the Spaimones @ 225
so buy now for only 8cents an
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Announcement: Henry King was shot
Wanted: New co-host for
and the legendary Herman Golly was
great column the Art of....
killed supposedly by the great Phil
Andrez Muesky is going
The Janitor. He was arrested but he
on Vacation in 2 weeks
is the only one who can solve the
for a couple of months
mystery of the shooting. And you
and we need a replacement
can help free Phil, just contact the StJ
for the Idiot/ I mean the
"Save the Janitor" web site @ http
great man, if you are inter-
http:www.savephil/StJ/224/hitty/
ested contact LNN Studios!
BANG!!!