BACKGROUND CLUES DISCUSSION HYPOTHESES



Do you really think I'd care?
Annotated Transcript
NYPD DEA badge This Old Spouse


Weekly plot:
A man comes in and says he thinks a border he and his wife have had for the last four months, who's an ex-con, has been committing crimes, because he keeps showing up with a lot of money and his wife and the border have been apparently doing dope in a locked room together (he thinks the border may be forcing his wife to do the drugs). Sipowicz checks it out and confirms that robberies took place as described and arrests the border, also picking up the wife as an accessory. She finally confesses to getting drugs from the border (not forced), but her husband still resolutely refuses to believe his wife had any wrongdoing.

The title "This Old Spouse" refers to both this weekly plot and to Don's reappearance. Interesting that the exact same amount of time has gone by: four months. Here, the ex-con would represent Don and the wife may represent Denby, who is associated with Don in order to support his drug habit in some way, or Jill, who is associated with Don because she can't help herself (another kind of addiction). The man who comes in is Diane, who was the one fooled into believing in Don's death originally, and is now becoming suspicious of Denby's involvement. She doesn't want to believe Denby is guilty (she mentions to Andy that she wonders if he and Don could be undercover, and Andy suggests otherwise). However, what she really refuses to believe for the entire episode is that Jill might have known all along that Don was alive and had been in contact with him - giving credence to the wife representing Jill. Possibly both Denby and Jill are represented by the wife.

Weekly plot 2:
An elderly man comes in and says he believes he's been conned out of a lot of money on home repairs and that the con artists are still trying to con him. Jill and Diane investigate his complaint and decide he's right. So they set up an undercover sting to con the con artists back, getting their scam on tape, and the con artists are forced to make restitution.

Obviously Diane is the one who has been conned by Don and Denby, and now may be conned by Denby, who is trying to make her think he's drunk when he's not. But when she finds out Don is alive, she doesn't directly confront Denby, instead trying to con him into believing that she doesn't know about it - until the very last scene, where she tips her hand.


Four months after Denby showed her the body in the dumpster, claiming it must be Don's, Diane sees Denby and a man who looks like Don but with his hair dyed red, standing across the street from a diner she's visiting in the morning, scratching lottery tickets off on each other's backs. While she is staring, Denby glances up in her direction, but before she can positively confirm it's Don, they disappear in traffic. Later that day she gets a call from Denby from out of the blue asking to meet her in a bar. She refuses, but agrees to meet him outside the station house.

Diane: What's going on Denby?

Denby: I like to think of this as our spot.

He's obviously come to find out if she saw Don, but can't come out and ask, so he's making small talk and see if she brings it up.

Diane: Boy. You don't let a day go by.

Denby: Referring to what? 'I don't let a day go by...?'

Diane: To you looking bagged.

Denby: Ahhh. Well...a day missed loaded is a day wasted.

She notices that he's apparently been drinking. He's sucking on a mint, presumably to cover the booze on his breath. Later when Diane reports the meeting to Andy, she says she doesn't believe he was drinking but had only meant her to think he was. This statement has been interpreted by some to indicate that he's always faked being drunk.

Diane: Why'd you call me?

Denby: I had this sudden urge. I don't do good resisting those.

He, typically, evades a direct answer.

Diane: Now what?

Denby: Now? I ask you how you've been, what you've been up to.

He actually admits he's there to make small talk.

Diane: Pass.

Denby: (Spits out mint) Okay. I ask was that you across the street this morning at Freddie's?

Realizing she isn't going to give anything up, he decides to prompt her.

Diane: Yeah, I was at Freddie's. You were across the street?

Denby: Yeah. I saw you from across the street.

Diane: Is that when you got this sudden impulse?

Denby: That's what brought it on.

She won't deny being at Freddie's since he obviously saw her (and a denial would give away that she saw him). He's actually on relatively safe ground, theoretically, with his sudden impulse being brought on by seeing her - could be that seeing her made him think of her which made him want to call her.

Diane: Denby, you know how stupid this conversation is?

It's stupid because while he might have thought of her and wanted to talk to her, he obviously has nothing to say.

Denby: I liked it when you watched me drink.

He's really lost for a topic of conversation, which is unusual, indicating he's unprepared for the meeting, or at least that her seeing him threw him - he'd never anticipated that she would. Somewhat significant that he mentions her watching him drink before reiterating - again - that he'd like her to drink with him. And he says that's what he liked - maybe seeing her resist?

Diane: You should work on being embarrassed.

Denby: If you were drawing up a list though, wouldn't you put that pretty low?

If she's going to start talking about his faults, he has no trouble joining in. He is aware that his faults are faults, at least, and that he has many worse ones than, as he puts it, slowness to shame.

Diane: I'm not watching you drink.

Denby: And drinking with me, I guess that's still out of the question?

He actually doesn't directly ask her to drink with him, instead acknowledging in advance that he knows she won't. But he still leaves her the opening to agree if she wishes. What this part of the conversation is for (this whole last section about his faults, on his part) is to keep the conversation continuing. He's finally found a topic - his faults - she's willing to go on about, so of course he'll display some of them.

Diane: You're a self-centered prick.

Denby: Before my slowness to shame, my self-centeredness? Things you'd like me to work on?

He's asking it the self-centeredness is worse than not being embarrassed. Obviously she's right, since what he finally can carry a conversation on about is himself.

Diane: Don't do anything for me, Denby. Don't even move if a car comes.

She has such a good last line that it kind of overshadows what she said right before it: "Don't do anything for me, Denby." She's answering the question he last asked - did she want him to work on his faults? Her answer is no, that he shouldn't do that for her, answering as if he had asked it seriously (which he may or may not have done - but it did come out of his mouth). She knows that if he wants to change, he has to do it for himself, not to please someone else. The last line just drives the point home as well as giving her a good exit.

end of scene


Diane meets Denby again that evening, this time in a bar, after she learns that Don is really still alive and that Jill knew it all along. The prospect of going to this meeting shakes her up badly.

Denby: What - summarizing Diane in a nutshell - can we say about life? It becomes more tawdry. Dangerous. Filled with more stupidity. Our eyes go. Faculties in general decline. We keep an interest in sex but we begin to shoot blanks. What we cannot say Diane, is that life gets less interesting. We can't say that and look at ourselves in the face as honest men and women.

He is not talking about life, per se, but his own life. This is actually a history, from his point of view, of what has happened to him. So his life has become tawdry, more dangerous (must be really bad since he was a narc before), and that he's acted stupidly. He can't tell what's going on anymore, and he finds it difficult to tell which course he should take. He's still interested in doing something constructive with his life, but while he can go through the motions (he still has his job as a detective), it has no effect, i.e. he's not really doing his job. But he has too much interest in his own life and freedom to turn himself in and face life in prison.
Much has been made of the phrase he uses - "shoot blanks" - which, in sexual terms, literally means sterility, though not impotence. Since it would be unlikely that Harry was concerned about being sterile (but might be naturally concerned if he were impotent, which is a common side-effect of cocaine use), why would Milch choose this phrase? Considering Diane's immediate response (below), it's very possible that "shooting blanks" is a slang term for taking some form of cocaine. But even if not, with the symbolic meaning of sex, which is constructive creative action, impotence would imply not being able to go through the motions, while sterility would imply that while he may go through the motions of doing his job, it's all a waste because he isn't really doing it.

Diane: Could you stand a drug toss Denby?

Denby: Taking that as I do as some weird form of sexual overture; to hear you make that only now that I shoot blanks is sickening and tragic.

Diane: Coke, huh Denby? Got a romance going now with coke?

Diane's response, again, implies that "shooting blanks" refers to a cocaine hit. Harry's response to her question implies that he sees her suggestion of a drug toss as an effort to save him, but that he believes it's too late for that, which implies further that he knows he's done much worse than get himself hooked on drugs.

Denby: Offering two ways more of describing life, Diane. Am I right?

Diane: You stopped caring if the Job catches you?

Denby: (trying to pull her back on his wavelength) Two more ways would be sickening and tragic.

She is desperately trying to get him to see what he's doing to himself. He ignores her (he's already said it's too late for him) and continues describing his life as having become sickening and tragic. His use of the word 'tragic' implies that he knows he's responsible.

Diane: Or maybe you think you're bullet-proof.

Denby: No, no man is bullet-proof, Diane. No person of either sex. No primate can defy the well aimed shell.

Diane: (She slaps him) What are you doing? What are you doing, Denby?

She really cannot stand to watch what he's doing to himself, and it seems that nothing she is saying is getting through - even when he appears to hear her, he's so negative about his situation that he rejects any attempt she makes to shake him up. This, however, is the first reference he makes, however veiled, to death being a way out; far from feeling immortal, as she accuses him of feeling, he is a little too completely aware of his own mortality. Diane is so taken aback that she slaps him.
It's been widely stated among those who'd prefer Harry to be "Total Slimeball Harry" so they could hate him with impunity, that she slaps him because a) he said such derogatory things to her and b) she hates him so much. That doesn't appear to be the case. What he said immediately before the slap was not something derogatory towards Diane. And even assuming a build-up of antipathy on her part which finally results in a slap, it's really only likely to happen after a 'last straw' (derogatory remark). But Diane has been through the depression and the addiction herself and can't stand to watch someone else suffer like she did. Far from hate, she is actually empathizing with him, but she can't control him or force him to change and it's terribly frustrating.

Denby: (hesitates a moment, vaguely surprised by her reaction) Before you struck me I was gonna say...given tawdriness, given our tendency to fall apart - what we could call moral and personal entropy - but acknowledging simultaneously that life keeps its interest...how about, as we decline, having comfort as a goal? For example; what is there to hate in some person or persons unnamed, having lots of money to drink with and to otherwise piss away in some exotic locale?

The slap nearly works. He is surprised by the vehemence of her feelings, and this in fact is what does get through. He didn't know Diane cared about him until now, and while she doesn't in the romantic sense, only from the point of view that he's a fellow human being, from his present point of view, as she's a beautiful woman, he interprets her caring as interest. The impression given is that she is the only one who does care.
He says that before he knew she cared, he was going to say, that given the tawdriness of his life and how he had fallen apart both morally and personally, but understanding that he doesn't want to go to prison, he had decided to make comfort his goal in life - that he was thinking of escaping to some exotic locale with money he got illegally and drink himself to death there: slow suicide. But his question "what is there to hate?" implies that he can see plenty there to hate himself, which is why he's only thinking of it so far.

Diane: You come into money, Denby?

Denby: I have had this vision of unbearable intensity that I am destined to win the lottery.

Diane: Right. That's how all those cartel boys got rich.

She has finally figured out what he was admitting to from the start of the scene - that he is much more deeply involved in the drug trade than simply as a user. His reference to the lottery is actually a delusion that surely luck must be coming up since his life has gone so wrong. He is, however, willing to accept that this 'luck' may be only financial, or - now - at best might include Diane as a companion.

Denby: (looking around the bar uncomfortably) Say I did come into money, Diane. Would you consider the two of us scarring our livers 'til they were masses of useless fat in Sirinam or the Falkland Islands, called by the Argentineans by some different name that presently escapes me, or anywhere else of your choice which - like them - does not extradite to Uncle Sam?

He becomes uncomfortable when she mentions the word 'cartel'. Might someone in the cartel be in the bar listening in, giving him yet another reason for such cryptic speech? Or, it could be the IAB who are investigating him ... But, for what he says, since he now knows Diane cares about him, he invites her along. His reasoning being that it's too late for him to join her, but he's perfectly happy to have her company if she'll join him.

Diane: I promise you Denby - hurt anyone I care about and I am going to ruin your party. I'll put a bullet in that brain you wasted.

She has reached the conclusion here that he is in whatever mess Don is in, which may affect her partner Jill, whom she cares very much about. By the same token, she also seems to be saying she won't turn him in unless he steps over her invisible line. Her last line acknowledges his obvious vast intelligence and how awful she thinks it is that it's being wasted by drugs and alcohol.

Denby: For God's sake Diane, let's not lose decorum at this late juncture. Like friends we both know, let's not lose our 'heads'.

She is going on about shooting him, and generally talking openly about stuff he might be doing to hurt someone. Up until now, their conversation hasn't really revealed that she's a cop, but he's afraid now that it might be. He references the body in the dumpster, who he still refers to as a "mutual friend" (Don), as an example of what could happen to them both if they start talking openly (lose decorum). This tends to support the contention that it's the cartel he doesn't want overhearing them and not the IAB.
Some have interpreted what he says as a threat to her, i.e. "threaten to kill me and you may end up in a dumpster minus your head, Diane" but that interpretation is negated by what Denby says at the end of this scene. Nor does Diane respond to him as if he had threatened her.

Diane: Yeah, who was that guy you showed me in the dumpster that lost his head?

She tells him here that she knows it wasn't Don.

Denby: (sadly) Oh Diane. There's so much doubt in life. I thought that was the one thing we were sure about.

Strangely, he's not really surprised at her knowledge. His answer indicates that he apparently doesn't know - or that he has some idea, but isn't sure.

Diane: (seething with anger) Oh, I'd like to drink. I wish I was drunk so I could shoot you right now.

Yes, she's angry. He's just basically admitted to her that he set the scene by the dumpster up deliberately to fool her into thinking it was Don. She's angry because she thinks he really is endangering Jill, and using her as a tool to do it; angry enough to shoot him if she were out of control, and she says so.

Denby: It would thrill me so much to see you drink, Diane. I believe I'll roll those dice. We could even leave on some cruise ship, if I was discreet about where it docked...

It would thrill him because it would take the decision out of his hands. If she agreed to go with him, he'd no longer be in his quandary of whether or not he should in fact go. He is, in effect, using her to be the voice of his conscience in this entire scene.

Diane: I'll kill you. Look in my eyes, see if I'm kidding.

She thinks he's still not paying attention or taking what she said seriously. But her passion now is coming from a protection instinct she feels for Jill - she thinks that whatever he is doing, it's probably going to hurt Jill and she won't allow that.

Denby: (despondently) Do you really think I'd care?

Okay, here's the crux - Harry Denby is no "Total Slimeball". If he were, he wouldn't be this suicidal (and his voice is so despondent it can't be interpreted any other way). He may not be ready to blow his own brains out, but he truly does not care if he lives or dies. A "Total Slimeball" would care - especially since nothing has so far gone wrong with the illegal setup he's got going with Don. Everything he has so far said to Diane in this scene has been in little 'what if' remarks, like he's bouncing the idea of running away with his ill-gotten gains off her to see how it sounds. He's been trying to convince not Diane, but himself that it's okay to just take the drug money and run, but he simply can't justify it to himself, no matter that he sees the attraction: a lot of money to provide a life of ease. But his conscience bothers him so badly that he can't even think of any use for this money other than to keep himself drugged to a stupor so he doesn't have to think about how he got it.
In talking to Diane, and finding out that she cares what happens to him, he concludes that if she will agree to accompany him into exile, he can justify it to himself. But she won't, and he knows he can't - and, not seeing any other way out, he feels he may as well be dead.

Many people have interpreted this scene as just one more where Harry tries to tempt Diane into drinking and in going over to the 'dark side.' By studying the script, we can see that's not really what's going on here, but in effect, Harry gets hoist by his own vocabulary: Most of what he says is so cryptic it's impossible to decipher in real time.

end of scene

Theories:

  1. Harry is undercover
  2. "Total Slimeball Harry"
  3. Harry is a disillusioned cop
  4. Harry is being blackmailed
Is Harry undercover?
If Harry is undercover, he would be concerned if Diane had seen Don alive after he went to all that trouble to make sure she thought he was dead. So the first scene does makes sense. He is, however, so depressed in the bar scene that it's difficult to accept he's simply undercover. His ruminations about whether he should just take the money and run sound too real - and he isn't simply testing Diane to see if she'll go away with him or whether she'll do her job and turn him in since he confessed to her - he hasn't seen her in four months and wouldn't be seeing her now if she hadn't seen Don. He does seem concerned that they'll be overheard, and this no doubt contributes to his extra-cryptic speech, but this can be explained by his not wanting his doubts overheard by the cartel.

Is Harry a "Total Slimeball"?
As concluded following the last scene, no.
For the first scene, it's still quite possible - he could be there for no better reason than to just see if Diane saw Don. But if he were a "Total Slimeball" in the last scene, it would not have been about his inner struggle with his conscience, and it wouldn't have ended with him wishing himself dead. The "Total Slimeball" may contemplate suicide, but only if cornered. And Harry isn't cornered in this scene - his illegal business dealings aren't even in danger (except possibly from Diane, but she's essentially told him she won't say anything unless he threatens Jill). The "Total Slimeball" would just have assured her 'no problem baby' - maybe if she paid for it with another kiss, or more.
As stated above, however, the dialogue was so complicated, and the scene went by so fast, that it was difficult to pick up what Harry was talking about. Therefore, those who hated him from the last set of episodes (and from finding out he knew Don was alive all along) were able to see only what they wanted to see here -- and that was that Denby was trying to tempt Diane into drinking yet again. If that had been all that went on in this scene, it would have been excellent support for this theory - but it wasn't. The scene is instead about Harry's inner struggle.

Is Harry a disillusioned cop?
Again, nothing in that first scene to suggest otherwise. If he had gotten into the drug trade with Don due to disillusionment, he'd be interested in knowing if Diane had clued in. But how about in the bar? All Harry's talk reflects his inner struggle with his conscience over the drug trafficking he's involved in. It's obvious that he knows it's wrong and that what he is essentially trying to do is talk himself into accepting that it's okay. This seems to imply that he's been in doubt over it the whole time, which would apparently preclude disgruntled disillusionment, considering Harry's initial speech makes it clear that his main objection is that he doesn't want to go to prison - he's not really talking about wanting the luxury the drug money can buy him except as it can keep him out of prison by buying him fare to a non-extraditing country.
There's another angle this theory could come from, however, which may make more sense considering Harry's drinking problem and the general theme Milch uses for this in the show: Harry somehow, in the past, let his life get so out of control due to the booze that he ended up in the position he's in now. He didn't see it happening at the time, but now he's stuck. Maybe he really did black out and let Don escape - and he got someone else killed in the process of trying to find him (it's necessary to assume that Harry was the one responsible for the dumpster body's death for this scenario - otherwise it makes no sense for him to fake Don's death and not take him back into custody afterwards) which he felt compelled to cover up, thereby setting up a chain reaction which gave Don power over him. He could have rationalized the disillusionment on the surface to lie to himself that what he was doing was acceptable, but deep down he knew it wasn't. And now he's completely trapped.

Is Harry being blackmailed?
Nothing in that first scene to say otherwise, which holds true no matter what the theory - no matter why he helped fake Don's death, he'd be anxious to find out if Diane had discovered his deceit. In the bar scene, however, Harry is in a serious quandary over whether to stay with his own conscience, or to just go forward with the life of crime (life keeps its interest, and therefore one wouldn't want to spend it in prison) and enjoy it (as much as he is able, which is apparently not very). If he were being blackmailed, presumably he would know that what he was doing was wrong and deplore it, yet be unable to stop it happening unless he was willing to turn himself in, which he isn't - exactly as described. He would have felt he'd acted stupidly in the first place by allowing the blackmailer to have power over him so that he considers his life tragic (and he accepts responsibility for it by using this word and not 'pathetic'). But, being blackmailed, would he really have the freedom to run away to a non-extraditing country? Interestingly enough, the way Harry describes how he'd do it supports the possibility: He tells Diane that they could leave on a cruise ship if he were discreet about where it docked - i.e. he'd have to sneak away. Now, presumeably, since he hasn't been found out yet, he wouldn't be in any immediate danger from the law when he got the money. But he would be in danger from the blackmailer if a) the blackmailer was carefully rationing money to Harry so he couldn't skip the country in this fashion and b) Harry intended to take all the money. This isn't the only scenario where he'd be in trouble from others beside the law - he could be planning on screwing the cartel the same way, for instance, but being in a non-extraditing country would hardly save him from them. It would save him from whatever the blackmailer might have on him, however, as well as from the law once his crime was discovered. Harry would also know that he'd already dug himself in so far he'd be unlikely to ever get out, and with this scenario, we can still have a Harry that never meant to break the law in the first place, which is how he sounds in the last scene. The fact that he's gotten in so far and still can't justify the criminal lifestyle actually speaks volumes for his character (or what the character of the man would be if he hadn't let addictions ruin his life). This man would be incredibly unlikely to get involved in any criminal activity unless he were forced against his will.


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