~My Dedication to all Texans!!!~

Okay, everyone else has a "usefull" page of links....well guess what......I'm not gonna!!!! In here you'll find alot of worthless, but perhaps interesting stuff.......well maybe?????

1. If you refer to the the sixth grade as your "Graduating Class", you might be a...."Redneck".

2. If you have to climb the water tower with a bucket of paint, to save your sisters reputation, you might be a ...."Redneck".

3. If your dog and your wallet are on a chain, you might be a...."Redneck".

4. If you paint you girlfriends name on a overpass, you might be a.... "Redneck". (say it with Krylon)

5. If someone asks to see your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle you might be a...."Redneck".

6. If your mom has a spit-cup on the ironing board, you might be a.... "Redneck".

7. If your richest relitive buys a new house and calls you over to help remove the tires, you might be a...."Redneck".

8. If you get a DWI on a riding lawnmower, you might be a...."Redneck".

9. If you and your dad go to the same school, you might be a...."Redneck".

10.If your family tree does not fork, you might be a...."Redneck".

11.If you cut your grass and find a car....you might be a "Redneck".

12.If your to drunk to fish....you might be a "Redneck".

13.If you have to finance a tatoo....you might be a "Redneck".

14.If you make change in the offering plate....you might be a "Redneck".

15.If you see a sign saying "Just Say No to Crack", and it reminds you to pull up your jeans....you might be a "Redneck".

16.If you go to a family reunion to meet women....you might be a "Redneck".

17.If someone comes to your door asking if your having a yard sale.... you might be a "Redneck".

18.If you been on T.V. more that 5 times, talking about tornados.... you might be a "Redneck".

19.If you smoke during a wedding....you might be a "Redneck".

20.If you holler out "don't forget to Jiggle the handle" when someone uses the bathroom....you might be a "Redneck".

21.If your at a square dance and the caller yells "HoeDown" and your girlfriend hits the floor....you might be a "Redneck".

22.If you have a "rag" sticking out your gas tank, instead of a cap....you might be a "redneck".

23.If you go to a wedding and your asked "Groom's Or Bride's" side, and you say both...you might be a "Redneck".

"Thanks to Mischief, "Mom" and Aunt Suzanne for this one"

24.If you go to a "petting zoo" and the animals back away from you.... you might be a "Redneck".

Thanks to "Starr" for this one.

25.If you think the "Yellow Pages" is for training your puppy....you might be a "Redneck".

26. If your porch collapse's killing 7 dogs....you might be a "Redneck".

Thanks to "Sue" for the last two.

27. If you cook "spam", on your bar-b-que grill....you might be a "Redneck".

28. If you have travel down a "dirt" road to get to your house....you might be a "Redneck".

29. If you need a "babysitter" for you and your child....you might be a "Redneck".

30. If your wife says "Honey come move this transmission so I can take a
bath"...you might be a "Redneck".

31. If you think the last four words of the "Star Spangled Banner" is,
"Gentlemen Start Your Engines!!!"....you might be a "Redneck".

32. If you take your dog for a walk, and you and he use the same tree....you might be a "Redneck".

Thanks to K. Alviano who sent me those.

33. If you stare at the carton of "Orange Juice" for 20 minutes 'cause it says
concentrate....you might be a "Redneck".

34. If you have more guns then teeth....you might be a "Redneck".

35. If you think the stock market has a fence around it...you might be a "Redneck".

36. If you just put a "8 track" in your pick'em up...you might be a "Redneck".

37. If your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up Police!"...you might be a "Redneck".

38. If taking a "dip" has nothing to do with water...you might be a "Redneck".

39. If you use your Fishing Lisence as a form of I.D....you might be a "Redneck".

40. If you own a "Homemade" Fur Coat...you might be a "Redneck".

Thanks to "Fitzgibbon", for sending these.

"Lady Nite" Passed these on to me...To share with you!!

(Thanks "Lady")

Redneck Computer Terms:

 1.  Hard Drive - Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat 
     tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

 2.  Keyboard - Place to hang your truck keys.

 3.  Window - Place in your truck to hang your guns.

 4.  Floppy - When you run out of Polygrip.

 5.  Modem - How you got rid of your dandelions.

 6.  ROM - Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

 7.  Byte - First word in a kiss-off phrase.

 8.  Reboot - What you do when the first pair gets covered with
     barnyard stuff.

 9.  Network - Activity meant to provide bait for your
     trout line.

10.  Mouse - Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in
     order to get a free case.

11.  LAN - To borrow, as in, "Hey, Delbert!  LAN me yore truck."

12.  Cursor - What some guys do when they're mad at their wife
     and/or girlfriend.

13.  Bit - A wager, as in, "I bit you cain't spit that chaw across
     the porch longways."

14.  Digital Control - What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

15.  Packet - What you do to a suitcase or Wal-mart bag before a trip.

By no means do I mean this in any "offense" to the Proud people of as I am one too!! This is dedicated to all the "Texans" of the Hallway!


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at: always_unique@unforgettable.com

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