Deeper into Me

So you wanna know more eh? So let me start off by saying that my ‘best friend’ compares me with 'Monica' from the TV show ‘Friends’. Stunningly attractive, slim, witty and never short of a partner? NO!, an anally retentive, obsessive compulsive!!! I don’t know about the anally retentive part (does anyone really know what that means?), but I suppose I have got to hold my hand up to the obsessive compulsive bit. It all came out in one particular episode of ‘Friends’ where someone had left a pair of shoes in the middle of the room, and Monica wanted to tidy them away but no-one would let her. She ended up getting out of bed in the middle of the night to do it. Yep, guilty as charged I’m afraid!! I just can’t bear things being out of place. It’s not that I’m house proud, lets face it, I have four long-haired cats, and my living room carpet is 50% wool, 50% cat hair, and the sofa can sometimes be as bad, but I hate vacuuming and dusting, and refuse to do it more than once a week!! It’s just that everything in my home has its rightful place, i.e.. where it looks good. I can walk into a room and instantly tell if someone has moved an ornament, and I have just GOT to put it back where it belongs. Even the coasters on the coffee table are evenly spaced and arranged in a certain position, they’re all easily accessible to visitors, so why do they feel the need to move them!! I suppose my obsession has something to do with the fact that I have a Designers eye, (but a chimps drawing ability). I trained as a display artists, but as they usually get paid even less than I do, I abandoned that as a career. If you really want to give me a nervous breakdown, come round my house, rearrange all the ornaments, and tilt the pictures all crooked. (Confession: I even straighten pictures in the homes of friends!! Sad or what!)
I do have some strong points - I’m fiercely loyal to my friends, and will jump in to their defence if somebody is trashing them. I don’t judge people on what someone else tells me. I prefer to make my own mind up about someone, if I like ‘em, and they treat me properly, then I’m not interested in what other people think of them. One of my other points, which some may consider good, others bad, is that I say what I think, I can’t see the point in lying about something, saying how nice it looks etc. if you hate it. True friends will appreciate your honesty if not what you actually say (I hope).

I wouldn't consider myself a very self-confident person. I am actually quite shy with people I don't know, and am not fond of parties or social gatherings where I don't know most of the other people. Once I actually get to know someone, it's a totally different story - most of my close friends would laugh if I said I was shy, 'cos I'm usually the 'Loud' boisterous one, who will do almost anything for a laugh.
Being small and slim I'm not a physically aggressive type of person, though I do have a tongue that would cut through plate steel! You've seen what the 'Aliens' blood does to the ship in the movie ALIEN - well that's nothing compared to a severe tongue lashing from me if I'm seriously pissed-off! I'm not afraid to stand up and argue for something I believe in, which earned me another tag as a 'Minature Rottweiller' when I was once in an argument with the entire Board of Directors of a British cat organisation a few years back. It took me two years, got me thrown out, but in the end I WON!! I am now a member again too as the Board of Directors have changed.
That's the problem with a lot of English people, they don't like to complain or cause a fuss. If someones blatantly in the wrong tell them, and keep telling them until they get the message. There's no point in keeping quiet about it and then bitching later. (OH yeah - I'm a little opinionated too!)
I have a bit of a problem with compromise too, which is probably part of the reason that I'm still a single guy at 31, something which tends to be frowned upon or consider 'strange' in this society of ours which is geared towards 'couples'. My main passion in life is for my cats, and they will always be my #1 priority. Most people I have met can't handle that, and don't seem to realise that although they will never knock my cats into the #2 slot, they could easily become joint 1st. I chose to have cats, and take on the responsibilty of caring for them, and to me that commitment is for life. so I'm still searching for that 'special' person who will accept my love of cats as being a part of what makes me who I am. (Surely that's not too much to ask is it?)
I am also a fairly determined sort of guy, if I want to do something I will battle with it endlessly until I finally manage to achieve what I set out to do. I don't like to let things beat me. There seems to be a strong stubborn/rebellious streak in me too, if I'm told that I can't do something, then I'm far more likely to have a go at it anyway. My parents wouldn't let me have my ear pierced when I was younger (they're quite old-fashioned), so I did it anyway, and managed to keep it a secret for nearly a month before the sh*t hit the fan!! If they'd found out about the tattoo on my shoulder blade I'm sure there would have been murder in our house that day!
I suppose really that putting all my good and bad points together I've turned out OK.
Life has made me an optomist I suppose, there have been some horrendous times in the past, starting from really young in a childrens home, and then again in my late teens/early twenties, but when I look back now at each of the really bad times I can see how they helped shape the person I am today (OK I need some more reshaping!!), but if some of the things hadn't happened, or I had dealt with them differently, then my life could have been much different, and quite possibly, far worse. My life is far from perfect now, but at least I'm now able to cope with the bad bits, which means that the good bits are so much sweeter. I've always been the sort of person who likes to give as much of myself as possible, which has sometimes left me dangerously open to being hurt and abused, but that's just the way I am, at least now I have learn to take as much enjoyment out of life as is possible. After all "You're a long time DEAD".

OK, I've laid myself bare for your inspection

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