The month of February was an especially difficult month for me. Although every single day, every single hour, since my daughter, Lauren, was murdered has been a difficult one, the month of February, 2000, is the month in which our family should have been celebrating Lauren's twenty-third birthday. Instead, we all stood at her grave, and cried some of the endless tears which have been flowing freely since that dark day (April 13, 1999) last year, when her estranged husband so violently took her life.

Lauren's grave is visited often by her friends. They leave flowers, cards, little gifts and trinkets there, as a way of expressing how much they all miss her. Lauren loved fresh flowers so much, and as I stood there, crying, I thought about how she would have loved the special ones placed at her grave on February 17th, the day of her birth.

Standing at her grave, a poem came to mind. A copy of this poem was given to me by the wonderful ladies at the "Safe House" in Sebring, Florida. The author is unknown. The poem has a very powerful message. The text of the poem is below.

I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today. It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night. And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know that he is sorry and didn't mean to say the things he said, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall, and then he started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares, to find that they aren't real.
I woke up this morning, sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. And it wasn't Valentine's Day, or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me, and threatened to kill me.
Makeup and long sleeves didn't hide the cuts and bruises.
This time, I couldn't go to work, because I didn't want anyone to know.
But I know that he is sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me again. And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids? What about money?
I'm afraid of him, and too scared to leave him!
But he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me. I was beaten to death.
If only I would have gathered enough courage and strength to leave him.
The women's shelter could have helped me.
But I didn't ask for their help, so I got flower today........
For the very last time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
My firstborn child, Lauren, celebrated her 22nd birthday on February 17, 1999. It was a happy day, and we never realized that it would be the last birthday celebration we would share with her. She is the reason I'm writing this column. Lauren was violently murdered by her husband on April 13, 1999. If you would like to know more about my beloved Lauren, you can visit the memorial web site I've made for her by clicking on the button below:

Click on the oval above, to read Lauren's story.

If you know anyone who is in a relationship involving Domestic Violence, please urge them to get out of that situation as quickly as they can. There are safe houses -- places of refuge -- in most communities across the United States. listing agencies offering help for victims of readily available, you can call the 1-800-799-7233 These hotlines are open 24 hours a day, and are staffed by trained volunteers who can tell you where to go for help.

The links below can direct you to centers near you which provide assistance to domestic violence victims.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  Call: 1-800-799-SAFE
  TDD for the Hearing Impaired: 1-800-787-3224

• State Domestic Violence Coalitions

• Violence Against Women Office