Since all my driving adventures are getting somewhat jumbled up, I thought I'd get the 'most adventurous trip' down to the border in this chapter. Our next trip through Mexico was in the summer, during hurricane season, of course!

This time, we had a real plan. Bader and Mary Ann flew to Houston and stayed with us for a few weeks. We took them boatbuying. He picked out the fanciest, largest, most decadent one on every lot. Finally #1 John showed him what a better deal some of the older ones would be for him. Even a 4 or 5 year old in the size he was looking at would be outstanding on New River, against the dug out canoes everyone navigated around in.

After much debate, Bader settled on a 25 foot cabin 'cruiser'. The dealership refurbished everything on it, and Bader flew back to Belize, waiting on their make-ready on it. I saw it and immediately dubbed it 'Land Shark', in honor of Saturday Night Live skits. We bought a Suburban to pull it, and also had another couple with us to share driving detail. Hauling a boat this big and unwieldy through Mexico didn't seem like an insane notion at the time! The only good thing about it was the Tx/ Mexico border officials couldn't care less what was stored inside it, they weren't going to crawl up and see.

Driving anywhere new, we've always tried to leave in the wee hours so all the familiar territory would be traversed in the dark. Usually arrived at the Mexico border before the first busload or first tractor trailer rig came across, so the officials weren't busy. By that time, we'd been on the road 7 or 8 hours, and thought about all of the things we'd forgotten. A good time to take inventory, and stock up on 'our' side of the border.

We also had the couple's Doberman, Margaret with us. We were rushed through the process in record time. Everytime something would snag, I'd just get Margaret out of the car to 'stretch' her legs. She also enjoyed baring her teeth at strangers, so they just leaned in far enough to paste their stickers across the garment bags, and that was that. On our way!

Right out of Monterrey, you drive through a time change. Somewhere in the Yucutan, you cross it again, so rarely did I know what time it was. We usually stop in Monterrey and change money at one of the larger banks, then proceed onward. On this particular route, there are about 5 states to cross, all with border officials, each one, in a smaller 'hut', and seemingly lessening in importance. however, the lesser importance, the more belligerant they become. When one insisted we couldn't drive through 'his' state, #1 was just fed up enough to say, OK, we'll turn around and go BACK, but the main border with the US will have to be informed of WHY. Turned out, all the guy wanted was a John Deere gimmie cap I was wearing! Sometimes all it took was a 6 pack of cold Budweiser to get them to let us through.

Pulling up to a stopsign at a crossroads, in one small village, there was a corner market. One lady had a huge bundle of bananas, and I leaned out and asked her how much? She named off some figure I couldn't comprehend, so I just shoved a few bills at her, and opened the rear door of the Suburban to put the bananas away. She started shoving the whole stalk inside with me! Maybe she was just fed up with standing there with them, or maybe they really weren't worth anything to a native, but I felt like I'd made the bargain of the year. Until later. Later, that damn stalk of bananas 'woke up'.

Margaret refused to lie next to it, and occasionally would look over and growl at it. By now we'd been on the road over 15 hours, and all were crabby, so we didn't notice too much. I climbed over the back seat and curled up on some of the baggage to try to nap. 'tappie tappie tappie...' We had lots of sounds coming from the truck itself and the boat, but this was a new one. I looked around and the bananas had grown EYES! Moved a few of the bananas around and found several very large tarantulas awake, and wondering what happened. We pulled over and debated about dumping the thing in the boat, but Becky and I had a fear of finding tarantulas in the cabin, so we just pulled a bunch of bananas off the stalk, and left the rest for the next vehicle.

We drove in shifts, each had their own personality of driving style. I didn't like making radical turns or decisions hauling a boat, so I'd only drive on the long desolate stretches, seemingly harmless. We stopped just before Tampico in the dead of night to look at the trailer hitch and the tires before getting on the ferry. We discovered I'd been driving with the passenger side boat trailer rail cocked at a right angle from the boat! Weren't about to lose that heavy boat, carpeted rails or not, but I had a fleeting thought of the many people 'hanging out' alongside the road, and how many had I swiped off? I was SO GLAD we didn't plan on making the return trip overland!

By now, the guys weren't talking to the girls at all. We'd try to make pitstops go from one gas fill to the next, but usually couldn't. They acted like it was a personal attack everytime one or the other 'had to go'. And, bathrooms in Mexico are not to be taken lightly, either. Usually, the lights don't work in them, but neither do the toilets. The worst thing were the bodies you stumbled over in the dark! We found out many wives work the cash registers at the PeMex stations, and their husbands 'guard' them by camping out with their children in the bathrooms. One stop in particular could have been trouble.

We entered into a dark smelly cavern, as usual, but no one was sleeping in the floor, how odd. I felt my way to the lavatory, and surprisingly, it had running water. Becky was slow to find her way out of the toilet when we both heard the distinct sound of a very heavy coin hit the floor. I thought she'd dropped it, and she was sure it fell out of my pocket. We resembled Lucy and Ethel in braille, searching for that coin. Finally pushed open one of the stall doors, and a little Spanish guy was sitting on the toilet, pants around his ankles. I couldn't see if we'd been 'flashed' or not, but I could see lots of metal in his smile! I was furious! I ran back to the truck and got Margaret and just opened the door to the bathroom and let her loose inside. I don't know if that man ever retrieved all of his spare change, but I doubt if he 'flashed' any more gringos after that!

Text and images copyright 1998 Martha Wells