|
The Canoe
Trip for Lighthouse For The Blind started a series I'm very excited
to present. A New Zealand friend has written a book called 'My
Life With Guide Dogs', and has graciously allowed me to write
a few stories in a section we've recently opened up in the Dogs
chapter called K-9
Service Dogs.
This is
a play that I (Jewel) wrote for a competition on our public radio.
It didn't get placed, but taking an objective view, I thought
that it was much better than some of those that did.
There
were several rules that the playwrights, budding and already budded,
had to weave into the play. They were: the action of the play
had to take place during summer in New Zealand; it had to have
in it a reference to somebody's cousin; the phrase "Are these
your jandals?" and "sp15".
I don't
know why my play was not placed [anyway, we amateurs were competing
against established writers, and there were only 4 places, and
the entry was between 150-160. However, the reason may have been
that I did not say anywhere in the play that it was set in New
Zealand, but to the local yokels that would have been obvious
as New Zealand is the only country in the world that uses the
word "jandals".
I was
going to explain what jandals were, but you are a person of some
wit and intelligence, so we will see if you can work out what
they are.
I am no
good generally at writing fiction, but this play was the easiest
thing in the world. I just sat down at the keyboard, and it all
just wrote itself. I didn't even guess how it was going to end.
BUCK
TEETH AND FISH HOOKS
[shrill
whistle followed by female voice calling] "Come on, Buck lad.
Where are you? [pause] Oh there you are. Where have you been?
On the beach, chasing seagulls by the look of you. What have you
got there? Now, where did they come from? Morgan! are you ever
going to get out of that bed?"
[Muffled
male voice] "Give me a break Gayle. I am on holiday."
[Gayle]
"I am aware of that, so get up, while there is still some of it
left."
[Morgan]
"Anyone would think you were my mother, not my cousin."
[Gayle]
"Well, we are supposed to be going fishing, and it is now eleven
o'clock, so if we are going to get there at all, you better get
your a into g."
[Morgan]
"ok, ok ok, I'm coming. Anyway , what's the hurry. We can get
down to the beach in two minutes."
[Gayle]
"I thought we would take the launch around to the back beach,
and try our luck there. You can have something to eat on the way.
It is going to be very hot out there on the boat, so we will need
at least an S p 15 sun block. Now, get a wriggle on!"
[sounds
of rummaging from next room] [Morgan] "Where are the wretched
things?"
[Gayle]
"What wretched things?" [Morgan] " My thongs. They've vanished."
[Gayle]
" Where did you leave them?"
[Morgan]
" Under the bed."
[Gayle]
They cannot walk on their own. Are you concealing a woman under
there? If so, she has my deepest sympathy.
[Morgan]
"haa haa! What a lovely idea, but I must reluctantly reply no.
The only creature to have disturbed my privacy, apart from a horde
of mosquitoes, was that great hairy oaf, you insist is a dog,
who bounded in here at some unearthly hour."
[Gayle]
" Now, you know how fond Buck is of you. He merely wanted you
to share the joy of the early morning with him. As he was denied
the original, he settled for the smell, and what a smell! Are
these your Jandals? Come on, Buck. Tat tahs! [sound of large dog
barking excitedly]
[Morgan]
"You are not bringing him, surely!"
[Gayle]
" Of course I am. The crew of a fishing boat should always include
a Newfoundland, if one is available.
[Morgan]
"what possible use can he be?
[Gayle]
"I cannot say, but it is better to have him and not need him than
wicky worker. Now, let's get a move on. [fade out. fade in. Sound
of waves slapping against hull of boat]
[Morgan]
"We have been hear for an hour, and not a suggestion of a nibble.
I think that I will go for a swim." Sound of splash, followed
by bark, and another splash]
[Gayle]
"Buck leave! Cousin Morgan isn't drowning." [fade out] fade in]
[Gayle
calling] "Morgan! I don't like the look of the sky. I think that
we may be in for a bit of a blow, so we better head for home.
[sound of swimmer]
[Morgan]
" Aye aye capt'n, Permission to come aboard?"
[Gayle]
" Granted, fair nymph from the deep."
[Morgan]
" That hairy hound of yours may look useless, but he can sure
handle himself in the water. We may be going home without a fish,
but the swim was great, so the day has not been wasted."
[Gayle]
" Come in, Buck. Your time is up. Here he comes. Whatever is that
he has in his mouth? Morgan, he's got a fish! And a very acceptable
one by the look of it. First your jandals and now a fish. Where
will his talents end."
[Morgan]
"Hold it there Gayle! I must lodge a protest in the interests
of accuracy. The jandals were stolen, however, I must concede
the fish. If I could lose the dog's owner when we get ashore,
I would be tempted to claim the catch as my own, but I might have
some difficulty explaining away the teeth marks. How are you going
to get him back onboard?"
[Gayle]
" Have no fear dear, the gear is here. Just drop the ladder over
the side, and he will climb aboard. I'll take that Buck. You are
a clever boy."
[Morgan]
" I bet that there would be very few people who could set out
for a day's fishing, and finally owe their entire catch to the
dog. There's no doubt about it, when life looks as though it is
getting rather predictable, the furry mountain can be relied upon
to buck things up." [laughter and barking from canine hero.]
Well,
there you have it. Incidentally, the three characters were in
real life, Gayle, my sister and Morgan her son, so you see she
*is his mother, not his cousin, and Buck, my Newfoundland guide
dog. Jewel
If
your appetite has been whetted by these stories, they and others
are to be found in "My Life With Guide Dogs". The book is available
directly from the author, Jewel
Blanch on 3.5 inch computer disk at a cost of 10$US, p&h inclusive.
Text and
Images copyright property, contact Jewel
Blanch
|
