I have friends on my mind a great deal lately.
Due no doubt to the tragic struggle for life of one of my dearest.
A struggle that won't be won, but shows the heart and soul of one
Who has lived it to the full, and shared it with so many
With humour, kindness and love.

There are so many things that should have been said
So long ago, but as with all youth
Death is an eternity away, and only
For the old who have fulfilled their life,
And have no regrets of its ending.

Now i have a need to tell you all the things
That are in my heart and my head,
Over so long and through so many amazing experiences.
But i dont have the courage to sit with you
And look at the frailty or the lost light from your mismatched eyes.

So I just sit here in a river of tears
And let the memories take me back to happier times,
When we were young and reckless and carefree.
And you were always there for us
When rapids threatened the tranquil path.

You always knew from my voice when trouble
Had infiltrated my life, and I, always from yours
By what you didnt say, and joked instead,
When a burden was so big
That you needed a friend and a hug.

I've seen you here recently with my Papa
In pain, suffering quietly, but still laughing.
Playing games and not showing how you must
Have been feeling inside, or how much courage it took
To make life go on as normal.

I feel ashamed I don't have your courage.
To say to you the things I want to,
Of how much a part of my life you have been.
The amazing fun we have had, the crazy times,
The sad times, and always the laughter.

We have been through so much together.
Often illegally, when our own roads got tough.
Yet somehow, we helped each other over the consequences
Of our actions, and would laugh for hours
Instead of hating the world.

You have been so good for me, and put your life on hold
When I have needed a friend.
Selflessly, and without a thought for your own needs.
My children developed a Canadian accent
Through the times you have been there for them.

I know shortly there will be a new star in the southern skies
That will be shimmering brighter than the others.
And the stars close by will shine more
By the company they keep
And the joy and fun you bring.

Save a place for us, when our time is come.
Don't forget us or drift away.
Our hearts will have a vacant part that can never be filled,
Just waiting for the time
When once again, the space is filled by you.

Go in peace Di. Be at peace.
Know a time without pain or fear.
Watch over us as our grief lessens,
As we fight out own battle, to carry on our lives
Without your friendship.

I love you and know how lucky I have been
For the privilege of being part of your life.
Its been enriched and I have learned so much,
When its my turn, I shall think of you,
And hope I can do it as well.

Di left us 21st September 1999.

I Love you Di

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Prose by Janni June 5th 1999