01:14 PM Feb. 16, 2005 PT UPDATED

Brian is my pen name as you know by now.  But all the other things I mentioned here are true and real.  I am not that smart to pretend being someone else whom I am not.

I want to stay being anonymous on this web site.  Who doesn't under these circumstances!   I don't want myself seen humiliated publicly by some mindless people.  That might happen in this world very often. 

I don't care anything at all if I am dead.  However, I am not dead yet.  My life is still not finished on 'this' world. 

But I promise you that I will use my real name when time has come. If not, I want to use it only to the person, whoever he or she might be, who 'seriously' tries to help me. Until then I stay being very cautious.

I live alone in the rented apartment, somewhere in a blue color neighborhood in Los Angeles, California.

University educated: Using my talent if any,  I could become a productive member of this society. Just I don't know how at this point of time.

I still have hope to have my own family:  I am straight and single all my life.  No girl-friends now.  No children of any kind. I don't have any baggage to carry with me.

Oh no, please don't think I am so ugly. I am not. As a matter of truth, after they found I was single, many girls would tell me that they thought I had a wife or two. So how come? Well, one of the few reasons I believe is I am soooo shy!!

I am good in nature, maybe selfish a little bit but my being an artist of some sort makes me hard time to fit in the corporate culture.

I  desperately need anything  to pay my bills and reduce huge credit card debts.

Time is running out, time is running out.....