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Words that are in ALL CAPS indicate words spoken or written by Paul from his booklet in 1975. He holds his sign for the drivers to see. The cardboard is painted white and has black lettering. Like everything the Child Abuse Man writes, including leaflets he hands out to passers-by, the message is in capital letters. HELP STOP CHILD ABUSE, the sign says. The Child Abuse Man rocks back and forth as the cars pass by. Lean back, left toe up. Lean forward, right heel up. Then he switches position. Lean back, right toe up. Lean forward, left heel up. It helps fight off the numbness when he's standing for hours, just as it did when he was a child. WHILE STANDING UP FOR LONG HOURS I WOULD SWAY BACK AND FORTH OR SIDE BY SIDE, a leaflet says. Sometimes a humming noise fills his head and he sees snow before his eyes, like static on a television set. Sometimes he has flashbacks and escapes into his imagination to block the pain and the fear, just as he did so long ago. Then he'll come out of it and, for a moment, not know where he is. MANY TIMES DURING MY ABUSE I WOULD GO INTO ANOTHER WORLD AND TRY TO DAYDREAM TO TRY TO AVOID THE PAIN. AS I AM BEING PUNISH MY MIND TRY TO WANDER OFF IN ORDER TO AVOID THE PAIN. I WOULD DREAM THAT I AM IN A BEAUTIFUL DIFFERENT WORLD OF PEACE. AFTER MY PAIN IS OVER I AM STILL IN MY DIFFERENT WORLD. AT TIMES AFTER MY BEATING I WOULD NOT KNOW WHERE I AM AT. I AM LOST AND CONFUSE. IT'S BECAUSE I WAS IN THIS OTHER WORLD OF VISION IN MY MIND. He rocks back and forth on the street corner and the questions return. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE HELP? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE STOP IT? The traffic light changes, and the cars stacked up on Pearl Street begin to move, gradually becoming a shimmering sea of colored steel headed south. Sunlight bounces off windshields in brief, blinding flashes. Car stereos boom and fade with the passing traffic. The Child Abuse Man moves over to face the Pearl Street traffic flow with his cardboard sign. This is one of his favorite spots, here at the Federal Building. He moves around, though: 11th and Oak, Coburg Road, Centennial Boulevard in Springfield, Valley River Center, the Gateway Mall. He rocks back and forth with his cardboard sign. HELP STOP CHILD ABUSE, it says. |
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