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Paul was diagnosed as a slow learner and was placed in special education classes with his older brother, Tommy, who was retarded. Paul didn't graduate from high school until he was 21, upon which he promptly joined the Army and left home.

He was stationed at Fort Lewis, Wash., and while in the Northwest met his first wife, (name omitted). When he was discharged, they moved to Portland. He held menial jobs at a hospital and at a clothing store, and in 1975, on his birthday, he began to write his story.

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS TRUE, the 39-page booklet begins, TRUE TO EVERY DETAIL THAT I CAN REMEMBER.

He took to working the streets of Portland, trying to talk to kids. Sometimes he held a sign for drivers to see.

In June 1978 his brother, Tommy, died of a gunshot wound. It may have been suicide or an accident. Paul and the other children, suspecting the worst, gathered in Donora for the funeral.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPEN BUT I GUESS WE WILL NEVER KNOW. (older sister) CALL DAD INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND ASK THE SAME THING, WHAT HAD HAPPEN TO TOMMY. DAD SAID IT WAS THE PEOPLE. I GOT UPSET AND TOLD MOM AND DAD THAT THE ONLY PEOPLE IT WAS WAS THEM, THE PARENTS.

I FEEL THAT TOMMY TOOK THE LAST PAIN FOR ALL OF US AWAY FROM HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS BY TAKING HIS OWN LIFE AWAY IF HE DID.

He finished the booklet in October of 1978, on his birthday.

YOU ARE SAFE NOW TOMMY AND I HOPE THAT I CAN FOLLOW YOU TO A SAFE PLACE TO HIDE FROM ALL WHO HURTS GOD CHILDRENS, the Child Abuse Man concluded.

By then, his hours on the streets of Portland had taken a toll on his marriage. (name of first wife omitted) divorced him.

In 1991 the Child Abuse Man remarried and moved to Eugene. He met his wife, Elizabeth, through a dating service. They live in an apartment in south Eugene. The doctors have told Paul he can't father any children.

Each weekday, Elizabeth drives to her hob in the state office building on Sixth Avenue. Paul, who receives disability payments because his childhood abuse has left him unable to work any longer, hops on a bus to ride to his post on a street in Eugene or Springfield. He takes his sign with him. HELP STOP CHILD ABUSE, it says.

"I'm begging for help," he says. "I'm trying to heal myself and I'm begging for help."

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