 |
|
Tru Luv Fanfiction |
Idle Threats
by: Rolymurp
“Jesus, Jack! That hurt. Let go of me, would you?”
Pacey’s voice echoed so loudly in Jack’s head that it sounded as if he were still in the room with him. He bent forward into the shower, lifted the pin and finished undressing before stepping into the tub.
The water was too cold, as it usually was when he started his showers. It always felt warmer on his hands than the rest of his body. He closed his eyes and leaned into the spray to bathe his face and an image of Pacey, slamming up against his bedroom wall and banging his head appeared before him. He heard the gasp again, the hushed swearing, and he could almost feel Pacey’s wrists in his hands, struggling to twist free of his grip.
“Fuck!” Jack said aloud. He knew from experience that these pictures were going to haunt him for days. And they were the last thing he needed to be thinking about when he saw Pacey and Joey tonight.
He lathered shampoo in his hair and dipped under the spray to rinse it. Closing his eyes, he could see Pacey looking up at his face as he knelt in front of him, sucking his cock. He could feel Pacey’s hair pulled taut between his fingers as he held his head in place, restricting his movement.
He soaped himself, keeping his face away from the spray, focusing on the bright tile of the shower wall as he eased the washcloth over his abdomen.
The images came anyway. Pacey, naked, kneeling on the mattress, trying to talk to him. Himself, smoothing lubrication over his erection before pushing Pacey back down, laughing at him. Grabbing Pacey’s hips and pulling them back against his crotch, maintaining that they could talk while they fucked.
”Maybe we shouldn’t do this when you’re mad at me.”
“Why not? Just because I hate you doesn’t mean I don’t want to fuck you, Pace. And I think you should let me. It’s the least you can do.”
He rubbed his legs with the washcloth much harder than necessary, willing himself not to “watch” the rest, not wanting to feel the shame that he knew would come along with it.
He saw his cock sinking into Pacey, heard Pacey’s gasps turn into sharp grunts as Jack rammed into him. Pacey reaching up to stroke himself, trying to enhance the sensation.
“Don’t fucking touch yourself! I don’t want you to feel anything but me!”
He heard Pacey’s weak apology as he dropped his arm, trying to brace himself as Jack thrust harshly into him, finally collapsing on the bed.
In the shower, Jack pulled the cotton cloth carefully between each of his toes.
He saw himself drag Pacey back from the mattress, pulling him to the floor and bending him over the bed. His hands clutched his hips again as he knelt behind him. He leaned over him, his hands sliding to his shoulders, holding him from there as he plunged into him again.
”Tell me it’s better! Tell me you like fucking me more than Joey!”
That tired voice. ”I do, Jack. It’s better. I swear it’s better.”
He’d grunted as he’d come, hearing what he wanted to hear. Pacey’s heart beat rapidly beneath his skin as Jack rested his head on his back.
“I’m better, I’m better…”
“Stop!” Jack admonished himself as he brought the cloth to the apex of his thighs, ashamed of the erection he’d developed while he remembered everything.
“Jack?” Jen called from the other side of the door. “Something you’d like to share with the group?”
“I was just, uh, singing.” He lied as he absently, reflexively, started to fondle himself with the washcloth. He looked down at his busy hands, irritated.
“Shit,” He sighed, resigned to do his body’s bidding. He leaned against the wall and sped up his strokes, dropping the cloth. He didn’t want to be doing this. He shouldn’t be doing this. It had to be incredibly wrong for him to be getting off on the memory of angry sex. He closed his eyes and tried to think of someone, anyone but Pacey. His ex-boyfriend, Tobey, flashed before his eyes, but the image wouldn’t stay. The hot water jarred his memory and he thought of spring break his senior year, the first time he had been with Pacey. He remembered having sex with him in the hot tub, how nervous he’d been to initiate it, how powerful he’d felt when Pacey agreed, when he’d liked it.
Jen was still talking to him through the door but he ignored her, letting the water run over his head, blocking out other sounds. He started gasping as the images of the night before, the pictures he didn’t want to see, crowded his mind again, finally pushing him over the precipice.
“There they are, Jack. At the back.” Jen shouted to him over the music. He reluctantly followed her to the table where Pacey and Joey sat behind a couple of beer bottles.
“Hey, you guys!” Joey greeted them, jumping up to hug them. “I missed you.” She stumbled as she pulled back and Pacey reached out to grab her, pulling her onto his lap.
Jen raised her eyebrows as she and Jack sat down. “How long have you guys been here?”
“Only twenty minutes,” Pacey answered. “But Joey decided to have cocktail hour at my apartment.”
“I’m not drunk…I’m just uncharacteristically happy.” Joey slurred.
Pacey rolled his eyes at their friends. “She’s fine. We just need to catch up in order to communicate on her level, that’s all.”
“No…” Joey teased. “You boys had plenty last night from what I heard. It’s mine and Jen’s turn to get drunk.”
“Is that what you heard about last night, Jo? That’s all Pacey told you?” Jack asked. His voice was light, though he spoke through gritted teeth.
“What are you drinking, Jen? I’ll get it for you.” Pacey offered, standing up.
“Relax,” Jack snapped, rising and motioning for Pacey to sit. “I’ll get another round and I’ll bring you a seabreeze.” He said, directing the last part at Jen.
Joey, oblivious to the tension in the exchange, smiled broadly at Jack’s departing form. “Has he heard from Andie lately?” She asked Jen.
“Yeah, she called last week. She’s ‘on holiday’ skiing right now.”
“With Gianni?” Pacey asked.
“Of course.”
“Man, is she living the sweet life out there.” He remarked. Andie had initially opted to defer her acceptance to Harvard for a year only to end up not attending at all. Now fluent in Italian, she was working for an international banking firm in Rome and dating a government aide.
“What’s so bad about here?” Joey broke in, pretending to take offense.
“It’s not Rome, for one.” Jen said.
Pacey nodded in agreement. “Hey,” Joey exclaimed, taking his head in her hands. “New York may not be as pretty, but it does have me.”
“That’s very true, honey.” He smiled patronizingly at her. “Well, it has you at the moment, anyway.”
“What do you mean?” Jen asked.
“Joey’s decided on BU for grad school, so we’re moving back this summer.” Pacey explained.
“To Capeside?”
“No, we’re getting an apartment in Boston.”
“We’re going to live in sin!” Joey giggled. “Don’t tell your grandma!”
Jen couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s drunken glee. “What about your job?” She asked Pacey.
“I have a couple of interviews lined up next week at some Boston-based companies, so hopefully I’ll have something waiting for me.” After getting certified through a technical school, Pacey was working as a computer programmer.
Jack returned to the table, setting the drinks down.
“See?” Joey asked. “It’s all gonna work out perfect!”
“What’s all gonna work out perfect?” Jack asked.
“I’m turning into my sister!” Joey burst out, laughing and jumping up from Pacey’s lap. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” She flounced away and disappeared into the crowd.
Jack stared after her, incredulous. “She’s not…”
“No, she’s not pregnant.” Jen answered. “They’re moving in together this summer, in Boston. Isn’t that nice?” She asked Jack, her voice thick with sarcasm.
He glared at Pacey for a moment and stood again. “Excuse me. I have a call to make.” He said, walking towards the door.
“Nice one, Lindley.” Pacey smiled tightly and nodded at her.
“Don’t act mad. Remember, you’re going to be perfect.” She bitched, mimicking Joey’s voice. “As soon as you stop fucking men, that is.”
Pacey finished his beer and gently set it down. “It’s just ‘man,’ Jen. Singular. And since he doesn’t have any plans to relocate, I guess it will be stopping, won’t it? So, why don’t you buck up, okay? Maybe he’ll meet someone you approve of after I’m gone.”
“He certainly couldn’t find anyone worse.” Jen snapped.
“I think we both know that he already has. But you can go on pretending that I’m the devil, Jen. The fact is Jack knew a long time ago that it would be like this.”
She sneered at him, about to respond.
“And you knew even sooner than he did, Jen. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten anything.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She shook her head, her eyes darting away from his.
“Spring break? When Joey and I got back together…You knew about it before anyone else, Jen. I know Joey told you. What I don’t know is why you never told Jack. Especially after he bought my feeble excuse for staying away from him the whole rest of that week and went on seeing me secretly back home for months. I lied to him left and right to keep him in the dark about Joey and me, and he believed everything I said.”
“You were always a good liar, Pace.”
“You could have told him at any time, Jen. But you didn’t. You knew he was still screwing around with me and you didn’t do a thing to stop it.”
“I didn’t want to hurt him.”
Pacey grinned, leaning forward. “I bet hearing about it from you would’ve hurt a lot less than seeing me and Joey fucking on the beach outside my house after the prom. Of course, if he’d known all along, he wouldn’t have ended up running to you for comfort that night.”
“What are you guys talking about all serious?” Joey asked, plopping into Jack’s seat. “Where’s Jackers?”
“He’s making a phone call.” Jen answered.
“Oooh, is it a new guy?”
“He didn’t say.”
“He’s coming back, right?”
“Of course he is. Relax, Jo.” Pacey said, irritated.
“I wanna dance, and I know you won’t.” She pouted.
“He walked over there, Jo.” Jen said, gesturing toward the door. “Why don’t you go find him?”
“Okay.” She agreed, darting out of her seat again.
“I can’t believe you’re trying to blame me for you and Jack.” Jen hissed once Joey was out of earshot.
“I’m not blaming you, Jen," he protested, holding his hands up. "I’m simply reminding you of the part you’ve played in this pathetic little soap opera we’re living. And while I understand why you’re unhappy with me, I think you should be grateful for the fact that I’ve never revealed your little fib to Jack.”
“I should be grateful?” She asked, enraged.
“Our Jackers has developed quite the temper," he pointed out, smirking. "I don’t know just how he would take the news that you lied to him about something so important. I mean, if you’d told him the truth back then, he probably would have washed his hands of me immediately. Instead, he ended up falling for me in those few months and, by the time he knew the truth, he didn’t much care anymore. Your whole crusade to spare his feelings caused him years of depression and bitterness. How forgiving do you think he’ll be?” Pacey inquired, watching carefully as his words began to sink in.
Jen spoke through gritted teeth. “Are you threatening me?”
“I’m laying out some facts, Jen. Pure and simple.”
“Right," she agreed, nodding. "Just to advise me that if I even think about telling Joey, you’ll be sure to tell Jack what he needs to know.”
“There’s also the fact that you’ve known all these years that Jack and I were still seeing each other and you never told Joey. Kind of makes you an accomplice, and it would end your friendship with her, too.”
“So, I never tell her anything. It doesn’t cure the fact that you’re hiding your sexuality from her and yourself.”
“My sexuality?" He chuckled, unfazed. "You mean the one where I’m virtually straight except for an odd attraction to Jack?”
“Who are you trying to kid, Pacey? Jack isn’t the only guy you’ve ever been attracted to. I’ve seen you check out other guys. I saw you do it tonight.”
He shrugged. “Looking at someone and having sex with them are two very different things.”
“Of course, which is exactly why you need Jack as your go-to guy. You’re walking around, finding yourself drawn to some man, so you run directly to Jack. Because he’s safe. He was safe from the beginning; an out guy who you trusted, who had as much to lose by your relationship becoming common knowledge as you did. You knew you could explore your ‘deviant’ urges without consequence with him. You used him, Pacey.”
“I had feelings for him, Jen. I still do.” He argued, drumming his knuckles on the table.
“You don’t love him. You never did. That’s why this has to stop. Don’t call him, don’t take his calls. It’s over,” she stated, crossing her arms in a gesture of finality.
“He tell you that?” Pacey challenged, raising his eyebrows.
“I’m telling it to you. Leave him alone, Pacey, I mean it.”
“Don’t bully me," he sneered. "I’ll stop seeing Jack when we decide to, not before.”
Jen eyes burned into him. “I’ll tell her. I don’t care what it costs me.”
Pacey paused, momentarily rattled. After a moment, he smiled, leaning even closer to her. “Yes, you do and no, you won’t. She’d never believe you, anyway.”
“When did you become such a bastard?” Jen asked in a whisper.
“When my life started filling with threats,” he answered, matter-of-factly.
“I don’t know how you live with yourself…”
“Let it go, Jen. I’m really not in the mood for any more of this crap.”
“Don’t talk to me like that.” She warned.
“Don’t piss me off.” He countered. Abruptly he stood and walked towards the dance floor. Jen followed him as he located Joey and Jack. He grabbed Joey’s shoulder and jerked his head towards the door.
“You want to leave now?” She shouted, taking his hand and letting him lead her away. “It’s only twelve-thirty!”
He nodded, tugging her along with him out of the club and onto the sidewalk. Jen and Jack joined them a few seconds later.
“I didn’t want to leave yet.” Joey whined.
“Jen’s not feeling so well,” Pacey lied. “And I just remembered that you wanted to call Dawson. You have to do it soon if you want to catch him before he goes out.”
Joey dropped his hand and drew back, staring at him in amazement. “You’re rushing us home so I can call Dawson?”
“Hey, I’m being supportive of your friendship. Don’t question it, just enjoy it.”
She shrugged, smiling. Over his shoulder, she called out to their friends. “Bye, guys. I hope you feel better Jen.”
“It’s just the smoke.” Jen explained lamely.
Pacey stepped away from Joey and walked up to them. “Nice cover, Jen. And Jack?” Jack stopped trying to light his cigarette to look quizzically at him. “Good luck with that phone call from before. If he can’t make it over, why don’t you and Jen have a long talk. Ask her about high school. She might have some deep, dark secret she wants to purge.” He turned briskly and went back to Joey, throwing an arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek as they walked away.
“What the hell was that about?” Jack asked Jen.
She flipped her hair back and rolled her eyes. “Damned if I know.”