Things had gotten progressively worse over the next few weeks. Nick and Alex went to Peru alone and learned what they could about the reports. When nothing substantial turned up, Derek insisted they come home. They would continue monitoring and when they say fit, then they would all go, as a team.
Nick and Derek's relationship had deteriorated to the point of silence glances when Philip was around, to a quickie in the evenings, if Nick felt up to it and always with Derek being on bottom. Now, Derek wasn't totally opposed to this idea, but the change in Nick's attitude bothered him deeply. He was cold, almost cruel at times, having his way with Derek, pretty much anywhere he wanted.
Derek made his way out to the garage, maybe he could engage Nick in something mutually satisfying. Then, maybe they could talk about their relationship. He attempted to start the antique Bentley only to find the battery dead. He opened the hood and began investigating what he knew, how to check. Auto mechanics was not high on his list of accomplishments.
Nick forced his legs to carry him the last few feet up the path, more than twenty five miles and he ached. The rain has started a few minutes before and that made him angrier than he was when he began his run.
Derek sticks his head from under the hood, as Nick runs in to the garage. "Well hello." Nick shakes himself a bit, making a puddle in the floor. "What are you doing?"
"I thought I would see if this old thing would run, but I'm not making any progress I'm afraid."
Nick takes the wrench from Derek's hand. "I didn't know you knew anything about cars."
"Well, I don't. Not really, but I thought we might work on this together, it was a great car, in it's day."
"Yeah, well," Nick sticks his head under the hood, inspecting the hoses, plugs and other assorted fun stuff. "Did you try and start it?"
"Yes, I think the battery is dead. Nothing."
Nick glances over at Derek, noting the tight black t-shirt and black jeans. He steps close and pops the top of the battery. "Yeah, it's dry as a bone."
Derek meets Nick's eyes. He recognizes quickly the look of dark desire, that has been so prevalent in those ever changing eyes of late. "Perhaps we should purchase a new battery."
"Maybe," Nick steps closer and Derek takes a few steps back. "Where you going?"
"To get a new battery, want to take your car?"
"No," Derek has managed to make it to the back of the garage now, to the trunk of the large car. "I want to take you, Derek."
"Here?"
"Yeah, come on, show me you're not too old to make out in a car."
Derek takes a deep breath as Nick steps close and begins fondling him roughly. "Nick, this is not a good idea."
"Why not?"
"We need to talk."
"No, we don't."
"Yes, Nick, we do." Derek steps back and runs into a table against the wall.
"We can talk another time." Nick presses his body against the older man's. "I want you Derek." He pulls the older man around and presses his body against his back and ass. "It's okay, isn't it?"
Derek swallows hard, he should push him away, tell him no. But Nick was still fragile from what happened with Philip, he couldn't deny him this coupling. He nods and Nick's hands work quickly unzipping and pushing his jeans and underwear down. Nick is behind him again quickly. "Nick, wait." It's too late, a saliva slick finger slips inside his opening.
"You said anytime, Derek and I need this." He presses inside with some difficulty, stopping only when Derek whimpers loudly. "Relax Derek, it doesn't have to be this hard." Once he feels Derek's body relax to his assault, he begins thrusting quickly, bringing himself to release quickly. He pulls out and grabs the paper towels, cleaning up."
Derek pulls himself up from the table and gathers his clothes together. He glances up to meet Nick's eyes, but looks away quickly.
"You want to go to the mainland, get a battery?" Derek shakes his head and heads inside the house. Nick follows him. "I'm going to take a shower, want to join me?"
"No, I don't."
"Whatever." They head up the stairs, Derek heads into his bedroom, locking all the door behind him. He collapses on the bed and hugs his body tightly. He'd lost Nick, lost the kind gentle soul that made him complete. He hears Nick pounding on the bathroom door. Derek remembered that most of Nick's clothes were in his dresser now.
"LET ME IN." Derek pulls himself up and opens the door. "What the hell's wrong with you? Why'd you lock the door?"
"You don't know, do you?" Nick shakes his head and walks over to the dresser, he slips on a pair of boxers and gathers the rest of his clothes.
"I'll dress in the other room."
"No. It's time we talked." He pushes Nick into a sitting position on the bed. "We have to talk."
"About what?"
"I want to make love to you." Derek sighs as Nick bows his head and shakes it.
"No, I can't you know that."
"All I know is the anger Nick, vented toward me because of Philip. I know you blame me, as much as him for what happened, but this has to stop."
"What, me being in charge, that bothers you doesn't it?"
"That's not what I mean, and you know it."
"NO, I don't Derek, Mr. Precept, Mr boss man. I like being in charge our relationship and I'm not going to stop now."
"What relationship Nick? You've totally shut me out of everything." Derek grabs his arms and hauls him to his feet. "Look at you, you don't hear what I'm say." He releases him and steps back. You don't even care, that you hurt me when we have sex."
"Make love," Nick screams in to Derek's face. "We make, LOVE."
Derek crosses his arms over his chest and takes a deep breath. "No, Nick, we don't. We have sex, anywhere you want, anytime you want and I just can't do it anymore."
"You can't do it anymore? You pushed me to Philip..."
"And you spread your legs for him Nick. Don't doubt that, I know you did. You wanted him inside you, wanted him to take you, don't deny it." He watched the amber specks fly within Nick's darkening eyes and knew the kettle was about to boil. "I told you I was attracted to him, you pushed me to resolve it, 'go to him, do what I must'. Your words Derek."
"Yes, but I never said you could come back and hurt me every time I want to be near you. When did I say you could do that?"
"I didn't know how I'd feel after he...after he did it."
"No one could have known how you'd react." Derek cups his face and lifts his head, looking into Nick's eyes. "I love you Nick and I want to help you get through this, but I can't bare the brunt of your abuse any longer."
Nick's body began to shake with the onset of emotion. "What are saying?"
Derek drops his hand and steps back, just in case Nick's anger turned physical. "I think you should move back into your own room."
"For good?" Nick's eyes water as Derek shrugs slightly.
"At least until we figure out how, to find each other again."
A single tear escapes Nick's lashes and is wiped away quickly. "Fine." He steps into the bathroom and looks back at Derek one last time. "I'll get my stuff in a few minutes."
Derek nods and feels the tug on his heart, as he watches Nick close the door.
to be continued in part 6
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