Fiona experienced that “God is our refuge, an ever-present help in trouble.” On the night of March 16, Fiona started to have fever, but as two of her co-workers were already sick, she still needed to go to work the next day. When she got to the hospital next morning, she learned that Doris, one of her two co-workers, was hospitalized. Doris was suspected to have SARS!
Around noon, Fiona developed a high fever. She went for a chest X-ray, but it was normal. When she got home, her temperature went up even higher. She thought it was only flu and a few days’ rest would help. So she went to the United Hospital, intending to ask the doctor there to give her a few days off. However, with the symptoms that she manifested, the doctor there suspected that she was suffering from SARS. They had to admit her into hospital. She was shocked and could not believe what she heard. They sent her to Queen Elizabeth Hospital and put her in a single isolated ward. Next morning, they transferred her to the same room as Doris, her co-worker.
After some antibiotics, Fiona’s fever subsided. She believed that she could go home that day. She thought the doctors were just being too sensitive. But that night, her temperature went up again. Doctor said that the condition of her lung has gotten worse. At that very moment, she realized finally that she had to face reality-- she has indeed contracted SARS! Fear gripped her instantly and she started to weep.
Her co-worker Doris’s situation was worse than hers. Her lung condition deteriorated everyday and she still had fever. But Doris showed no fear. Instead she was joyful. Therefore, like Doris, Fiona started to pray to God for His comfort and help. After praying and reading the bible, Fiona could feel the peace and joy that came from God. She also got support and encouragement from her family, colleagues, friends from the church, medical staff and many, many others. She also began to hear good news about some patients’ recovery from this illness.
Fiona knew that “God would not let you be tempted beyond what you could bear.” To treat her, doctors needed to inject some very strong antibiotics through a needle inserted into Fiona’s vein every day. As her veins were very brittle, this was a very painful procedure for her. In normal cases, the needle could stay in-situ for some time. But in her situation, they had to change its position every day. On one occasion, they had to try more than 20 times before they could find a spot in her vein to insert the needle in! Fiona found it very difficult to bear both physically and emotionally.
In view of this, doctors suggested to Fiona that they could insert a small tube into the large vein in her neck and pass the antibiotics down to her heart through there. The other option would be to give up treatment, which meant that she could die. By her professional knowledge, she knew she had to make a very tough decision. She felt so frightened and so helpless. She did not know what to do. She just cried and cried and cried. Understanding her agony, Doris knelt down beside her and prayed for her in tears. Another Christian nurse came without taking her dinner. She comforted Fiona and shared her feelings with her. She taught Fiona to submit herself to God and to trust Him completely for guidance. Finally Fiona agreed to have the tube inserted. She was still very frightened and emotional. Just so happened that one of her friends had just brought her a tape of hymns earlier that day. Doris put it on for her. While listening to it, Fiona began to feel the peace from God. She believed that she was the first patient to have the tube inserted while listening to music. One of the nurses held her hands and comforted her during the whole process.
Through her suffering, Fiona witnessed the grace and the guidance of God. She could understand more about the feeling and the fear of patients so that she would provide better care to them in the future. She found that when she surrendered herself to God, He would give her the best. When she was in great pain, He comforted her through the hymns, through Doris and through other nurses. Also, the doctor who inserted the tube for her was very skillful. Many were afraid that her wound would be infected due to her low immunization level, and because the tube almost reaches the heart. But the isolation ward where she was staying in was cleaner than other wards. This minimized the chance of infection. Fiona had the tube for 8 days but she did not worry at all nor did she give special care to the wound. It did not give her any troubles. It was like flowers in the field. God would take care of them and they would grow beautifully.
“We love because He first loved us.” Fiona greatly experienced God’s love during her hospitalization. Through her, God showed His love to 2 individuals. After Doris was transferred to the intensive care unit, Jane, the wife of the patient who transmitted the virus to them was transferred into her room. At first Fiona rejected her. But God showed Fiona how weak, how helpless and how hopeless Jane was. Moved by the Holy Spirit, Fiona prayed for Jane that she might know the Lord. God surely had already prepared her heart. She welcomed Fiona to pray for her and she herself was willing to pray too. When she seemed to lose confidence in God, Fiona encouraged her with God’s words. The next day, Jane’s condition deteriorated and she needed the respirator to assist her in breathing. Before they sedated her for the insertion of the tube, Jane was telling her family not to come anymore, and just treated her as being dead. Fiona was very sad when she heard this. So she boldly asked Jane to believe in God. When Jane showed her conviction, Fiona could see peace in her face. It was truly the grace of God.
Fiona witnessed, “with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”. When her condition improved, they transferred Fiona to another bigger isolation ward. Clare, one of the nurses from intensive care ward was in the bed next to her. Like Fiona, they needed to insert a tube into Clare’s neck for injection of medicine. Because she had similar experience earlier, Fiona was able to comfort her. One night, Clare had difficulty in breathing, despite the fact that the oxygen concentration level administered to her had already been increased. Fiona was very worried, as she knew that in such a case, even doctor could not help her. All they could do was to put her on the respirator. So Fiona sat by her bedside and prayed for her. After several hours of praying, the oxygen level in her blood went back up.
Then the next night, Clare developed shortness of breathing and diarrhea. Though she was very tired, she could not sleep. Fiona encouraged her to pray to God, and He answered her prayer. Her breathing difficulty and her diarrhea stopped. She was even able to sleep for a few hours. However she still had doubts about God. Fiona prayed that God could fill her with the Holy Spirit. The night before she was discharged, Fiona saw Clare sitting up on her bed. Her condition improved. This time, she had no difficulty in breathing. Before she had to sit up to sleep but now she was able to lie down to rest. But she still felt greatly uncomfortable in her chest. And she could not sleep well. She was very sad. So once again Fiona prayed for her and shared her testimony with her. She told Clare that God would help her and God loved her. Clare promised to continue to pray and would go to church after she got out of the hospital to learn more about God.
Despite the sufferings Fiona found that God was there with her. She learned to be closer to God. She also learned about submission and trust. God showed her His power, His grace and His love. He inspired others to bless Fiona and then made her a blessing to others as well. Fiona knew that God had healed her but her co-worker Doris was still in critical condition. But she was sure that God had His own plans for Doris. She knew that by just trusting Him and praying to Him, He would help. Men are so powerless against this virus, but she knew that we are not relying on men or medicine. We rely on the Almighty God.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me”
Praise the Lord! Glory be to Him!
The following hymn had given Fiona much comfort and encouragement when she was sick.
Who can understand how my heart feels, wanting to speak but is speechless.
Who would know the pain of my heart, with a thousand pounds of burdens.
My heart fills with doubt; the world seems to stop moving. You alone, Lord, are my life’s only hope.
God, hear my prayer. I am praying. Your love never ends.
I see great darkness ahead. God, please be my guide.
My weaknesses He knows; reliance on Him changes all.
God is willing to die for me; He will surely hear me pray.
God understands how my heart feels right now. My tears He has not forsaken.
God has never changed, right from the very beginning.
My heart need not doubt; a hope that has not died. God will hear my every sigh.
God, hear my prayer. I am praying. Your love never ends.
I see great darkness ahead. God, please guide me.
(He views my soul as very precious. I wait for God’s guidance.)
He embraces me when I am weak; I cannot, but He is able.
(He embraces though I am weak. I am victorious through Him.)
God promises to see me through and overcome my suffering. He hears my prayer.
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