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CINEMA WASTELAND |
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OCTOBER 4 - 6, 2003 |
SATURDAY
Saturday –
Impromptu breakfast with John, Halloween Jack and
Ahhh…Carpathian and the Patient Creatures!
They are the first ones (after Count Gore, and Dr. Sarcofiguy for that matter) who I met from this list (who can forget Rock Savage’s “Cinema A Go Go!?”), and they have proved to become dearer and dearer friends each time we see each other – and this time they even had a new member, a Banshee, whose scream did indeed made me sterile. While their alter-egos showed up on Friday evening for some laughs and a bit of friendly grab-ass, it wasn’t until Saturday afternoon that the Creatures came out and showed everyone why they are so beloved on the east coast.
Ohhhh! And what a wedding they helped perform!
First with Grim dropping off Ghastlee in the hearse, followed by delivering Suspira and the Bride’s Maids, which included (among a ravishing cast of plenty) Miss Scarlett, on up to the stellar ceremony officiated by Carpathian and Kuzibah – more on that later – it became clear that the Patient Creatures will eventually become a household name across this country.
Speaking of large groups of scary people, they don’t get larger or scarier than the ever expanding clan I affectionately refer to as The Dayton Host Underground. Ghastlee, Suspira, Dr. Creep, Baron Von Wolfenstein, Commandant Gore and the crew from Gorevision, the world’s youngest Horror Host, Dr. Freak, filmmaker and producer Andy Copp, and let’s not forget “Ghastlee Movie Show” dudes, Grimsburger, Lou and Jeff.
Was there anyone left in
I finally had the
opportunity to meet Commandant Gore and everyone involved with Gorevision.
What a terrific bunch of guys; it was most excellent to finally meet them,
and hear about their show and the work they do to keep
Speaking of being freaked out…do I need to even go into detail about Grimsburger?? (haha). The man is a vortex of energy and primal opportunity being suppressed – I was convinced that at some point during the weekend he was going to sink his teeth into Dr. Sarcofiguy’s succulent melon-like head!
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His participation
with the roast on Friday was priceless (well, actually it was Ghastlee’s
reaction that was priceless!!), and his cookie-eating on Saturday made
everyone deliciously uncomfortable (if you missed that, you are out of
luck, as that is the only thing that didn’t get caught on tape during
the wedding and spookshow – some things must stay of the moment!).
However, it was the very troubling entrance he made (as Big Foot) at the
conclusion of the spookshow that had at least one family from |
Ok…it needs to be said, so I will just say it here and be done with it…
Baron Von Wolfenstein’s mind is a vast and scary place.
Well, actually
“Tim’s” mind is a vast and scary place; that is where a cornucopia
of characters dwell, many of whom decided to visit over the weekend. On
Friday it was Carlyle the Invisible Wizard; on Saturday it was
Robin
Graves in the morning and the Baron at night; and finally on Sunday a
vampire being that looked like Joe Nosferatu, but who wasn’t Joe
Nosferatu.
And somewhere in the middle of it all, many fortunate people got to see the real Tim on stage, aping for time with Remo D. between the 2nd and 3rd reels of “Bigfoot, and doing a tremendous job – he had all of five minutes to come up with something, and man…did he deliver! Other highlights include his roast of Ghastlee Friday night, his attack on poor Remo D. Saturday night, and his stalking everyone from helpless convention goers to The Ghoul on Sunday. An evil, wonderful genius (and I am saying this even though he’s never paid me off with art work, like other Texans I can think of), the Baron needs to be back on television pronto!
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Since he was set up over
at his own table, I didn’t have as much time keeping an eye on the
world’s youngest Horror Host, Dr. Freak, as I had at Horrorfind…not
that he needed it at either place, as he really has become the adopted
brat of Cinema Wasteland and all Horror Hosts, not to mention his maturity
certainly eclipses that of many of the adults in his life.
With gal-pal by his side (who doesn’t hate that phrase?!), he made a small fortune over the weekend, putting everyone else to shame…again. Still, what people will remember from the weekend was Freak’s riotlessly belting out the song “Asshole” at the wedding, especially with the dead-on rant. Man…who among us wouldn’t have loved to have this dude’s childhood? |
As usual with me at Cinema Wasteland, the most money I spent this weekend was at Dr. Creep’s producer (and Dr. Freak’s surrogate father) Andy Copp’s table on more very, very bad things. The man is such an enabler; I sometimes need to avoid what DVDs he has this go around. Can’t wait to see what he has next for me at the next convention.
I have been very lucky to
have met Dr. Creep on more than one occasion, and I am honored to even be
in his company. The fact that he spends much of the convention selflessly
promoting other Horror Hosts is really the tip of the iceberg where his
generosity goes. All you had to do was watch the “I. Zombi”
documentary and you could see his thoughtfulness and humor and his genuine
love for his fellow man. I know it meant the world to Ghastlee to have the
Creeper be his best man at the wedding – there are few better. His talk
before the Saturday night spookshow with whats-his-name (you know, that
squirrelly little Texan who didn’t mention me in his post) was
captivating; why hasn’t someone optioned the rights to THAT story yet
for a major motion picture??
Another living legend in
the Horror Host world that gives much of himself for the next generation
of Hosts is the batty old vampire I grew up watching –
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