Question #1: How does David get such unbelievable air?!

Legend tells of a man-- a man who will one day rise up and travel the lands of the world, spreading peace and uniting people from all walks of life with his music. It is said that this man shall possess the spirit of twenty mortal men, the eyes of an eagle, the heart of a lion, and the vertical jumping ability of a cat that just had the bejeezus scared out of it.

Many years have passed since the legend was foretold, and today only a handful of folks are privy to this long-forgotten lore.

They are very small people.

Those who have seen the rock band Jet by Day perform are often left with a sense of wonder and awe after witnessing David's soaring leaps. They do not understand how one can achieve Michael Jordan-esque hang time with the hot stage lights, anchoring weight of the guitar, and pounds of rock-induced sweat soaked into one's clothing.

But alas, the prophecies speak of the "Chosen One" as not bound to earth by the mortal tethers of weight and bodily perspiration, save only by choice. Nay, the legendary hero will have the power of flight-- granted, flight in the somewhat limited form of vertical jumping-- but the power of flight, nonetheless! He will, as the legend goes, "be thy bane of roofers and those who repair and paint ceilings, whose tireless work shalt never be done."

And with that, we move on to question numero dos..

Question #2: What the heck is that thing on top of Tom's hi hat cymbal?

That's a plastic squeaky toy, like the kind (strange) people put on bicycles. On several occasions, Tom actually used the squeaky toy in mid-song. (Incidentally, we also had a bendable wire frame toy monkey that found its home on Tom's drums) The reason? It was funny. That's it. There's no drawn-out metaphorical justification or complex Freudian meaning; it simply represents wackiness.

Question #3: What does the pin on Bo's bass strap say?

It reads: "OFFICIAL TURKEY TASTER." This pin stayed on my bass strap from my first show as a Hosstage, to my last performance with Jet by Day. In fact, it's still on my bass strap right now. I used to have a button that read, "Ask an Actuary," but too many people kept asking me what an "actuary" actually was, so I took it off.

Question #4: What is an "actuary?"

An actuary is "one who calculates insurance and annuity premiums, reserves, and dividends."

Question #5: I have been to several Hosstages/Jet by Day shows and would like to know why, at certain parts of songs, I sometimes have trouble "keeping in rhythm" with the band?

Do not worry loyal fan, you are not alone. What you have just described is what we in the musical community refer to as "momentary odd time-signature disorientation disorder." In layman's terms, you are being confused by the rhythm changes that the band frequently switches back and forth from.

Question #6: Wait.. "musical community?" "Momentary Odd Time-Signature Disorientation Disorder?" Aren't you just making this stuff up?

Yes.

Question #7: So, why does the band "frequently switch between different rhythms" mid-song?

Three-fourths of the band has no choice. Tom has supreme control over rhythm decisions by virtue of his deadly drum sticks of doom.

Question #8: Am I at risk of being struck by Tom's drum sticks, and if so, what chance do I have of survival?

According to United States census data, approximately 18 people are struck by one or more of Tom's drum sticks every year. There have been no confirmed casualties. Yet.

Question #9: What's up with that little ghost holding the jack-o-lantern with blue light shining out?

The ghost was a cool little Halloween decoration that when plugged in, shone colored light out of its eyes. The color coming out used to change from red to blue, but eventually the ghost settled on blue, and stuck with it ever since. This was taken as a good sign because both David and I had Ampeg amplifiers with blue lights.

The ghost has since gone into temporary retirement, where it is charging up with good luck potential (it ran out after steady use with the Hosstages) and awaiting new light bulbs.

Question #10: What's the story behind the name "The Hosstages?"

Well, David came up with it one day and Tom and I thought it was fine. I wish there was a better, more exciting explanation, like "we were taken hostage during a bank robbery, but using our special rock skills, turned the tables on the robbers and saved the day," but sadly, nothing of the sort ever happened. (Or did it?)

Anyway, I think "The Hosstages" was a cool name for a band because:
1) It was a pun ("hoss" is cowboy-ese for "horse")
2) There was a guy called "Hoss" in the television show "Bonanza"
3) Misspelling things is cool. I mean, "kool."

Question #11: In the "Jumping David" picture in Question #1, I noticed he's playing a blue Fender Telecaster, but I thought he only played a 1965 Gibson Melody Maker. What gives?

The blue Fender Telecaster featured in Question #1 actually belonged to a guitarist from "The Varsity Orange," who kindly lent it to David after his 1965 Gibson Melody Maker wouldn't work. The Melody Maker was later fixed.

David used the Melody Maker in band practices and in shows. I'm pretty sure it was the only guitar he used during the Hosstages era (with the likely exception of during the recording of Autumn means its all Downhill).

Unfortunately, David's Melody Maker was stolen whilst the band was on tour. If anyone out there knows the whereabouts of this kidnapped guitar, please talk to David.